Only Children and Their Relationship With Their Parents

Do Only Children Have Better Relationships With Their Parents?

July 9, 2010

Is three the magic number? When it comes to the family unit, does an only child bond better with his or her parents because the kid doesn't have to compete with siblings for attention and affection? Or, does a bit of a bridge between mom, pop, and child in the form of siblings make growing up less stressful on a youngster?

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14 Comments

lerici 1 year 18 weeks

I am an only child. I absolutely feel I am closer to my parents. I was and am extreamly attached to both to this day. After going back and forth with the idea of a second. My daughter will be an only child too. I have to be honest, i love having a very personal relationship with her. She and I laugh and talk. I also love being able to handle my life and enjoy. By the way I was most popular and class president growning....forget that stigma of socially inept...My daughter went to full day preschool since she was two and that was GREAT for her. It taught her independenc. Now in kindergarten we live in a real neighboorhood and she has a playdate EVERY day. The funny thing is after they leave she is happy to have her peacefull home!! Love having and being an only child!

2 years 39 weeks

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONBjEEpKrH0&feature=channel Here is a short video that captures the feelings/thoughts of EVERY 'only child' at one time or another. Please post feedback if this pertains to you! Thank you...................Jeff

Sasorisa 2 years 45 weeks

I'm an only child. It doesn't make me closer to my parents but my mom is a single mother who raised me myself. THAT makes me closer to her.

Girl Jen 2 years 45 weeks

I hope so! My daughter will be an only child. I'm pretty much the opposite of an only child. I'm a twin. I have a wonderful relationship with my twin brother, but a strained relationship with my younger brother (if I never saw him again, I wouldn't miss him). My brothers have a good relationship with each other, but we all have a strained relationship with our mother. This is more due to substance abuse issues than anything else. I'll do my best to raise a well-balanced, sociable, secure only child...but I'm not having another.

starlotus713 2 years 45 weeks

I am an only child and very close to my parents - we have a great relationship (but they were also very good at parenting). I had the normal trying times as a teenager because I was so independent, but it ended up serving me well. I wasn't spoiled, but I also was more confident knowing that I did have anyone to live up to or share scarce resources with. I only now, in my late twenties, wish I had siblings. All four of my grandparents have passed away in the past five or six years, and my parents had their siblings around to help care for their parents in the end stages of life and a support network when they passed. I worry now about who will help me make decisions for my parents in the future, and where my family will celebrate holidays. I am inclined to have just one child because that is the type of family I know best. But I also wonder what sort of enrichment a second child would have for the first (and vice versa!) and also I want them to have each other when my time comes...

EmilieLove 2 years 45 weeks

I think that it really depends on the family, but I am an only child, and I do think that I am closer to my parents than a lot of my friends with siblings. I do wish that I could have a sibling and occasionally think that I've missed out on something, but I do have a good relationship with my parents and, to me, that's what matters most.

sourcherry 2 years 45 weeks

I am an only child, and I have a good relationship with my parents. My best friend is also an only child and she has an even closer relationship with her mom, but can't stand her dad though. On the other hand, my boyfriend has a really great relationship with his parents and his sister. If I were to choose a family I would like to emulate when I have my own, it would be his. Sure, his mom says he was jealous of his little sister when he was younger, but that was only temporary and they've always had a lot of fun together regardless. In the end I think there isn't an optimal number of children that makes a close family. If the parents give love and support to all their children then they'll probably grow up fine.

juicebox07 2 years 45 weeks

I am an only child, and I do not have a good relationship with my parents. My dad never calls, and he's an alcoholic so he mostly just cares about drinking his beer. My mom is in her own world. She never gives me any attention unless it's to yell at me about something. If I try and talk to her about something, she will not listen. I'll start talking and she'll interrupt me mid-sentence and go on about something completely different. Basically, I feel kind of shut out from both my parents.

witchbaby 2 years 45 weeks

As a 24 year old only child, I can say that my relationship with my parents is divided. I'm close with my mother but my father treats me like I don't exist. The most words that come out of him are "I'm leaving, bye" or "Good morning." But in school my mother was very school focused. If I came home and said I got a 97 on my math test. It wasn't happiness... it was always , why couldn't you get a hundred? But they both did trust me very much with choices I made and I was never a party/drinking teen. They knew I went out and did some stuff but they knew I always used good judgment on who I surrounded myself with.

kathrynliz 2 years 45 weeks

as an only child that just gave birth to a likely only child, i have had this conversation a lot with my friends that are considering having a second. here's the thing... you can't apply a blanket statement to onlies any more than you can to those who have siblings. it's about the parent and the child and the relationship that they have. period. same with families that have more than one... no one would throw something out like, "oh, you have a sister, you must be competitive" or "you have a brother, you must be a tomboy". assuming that kids with siblings somehow have a leg up on only children just doesn't make any sense. children with siblings can grow up with all kinds of issues...why do we just accept that being an only child is an "issue" for the child? silly. it's about the parents and the kid. and we will continue to see more and more only children moving forward, for a multitude of reasons. every time i hear someone tell me that "i must be spoiled", i just laugh at the ignorance of the statement. (and trust me, i have heard this a lot- from people who don't know me or anything about me!!!) i don't know why people think it's OK to say this. being an only or having an only is so not a big deal.

starbucks 2 years 45 weeks

I don't know, I guess it really depends on each family. I have an amazing relationship with my mother as does my older brother. Growing up I couldn't care less for him but now that we are in our early twenties I am so happy to have him around. He's an amazing young man. His girlfriend is really lucky to have him and it's so cute to see how he's falling in love with his niece. My daughter will probably stay an only child. I guess it can be really hard to become an older brother. My boyfriend's nephew is gonna be a big brother soon and he's less than thrilled...

amandachalynn 2 years 45 weeks

I am very close with my sisters. My mother taught us that friends will come and go, but your sister will always be there. She instilled a sense of responsibility in me so instead of being annoyed by them, I took care of them to protect them, because that's what families do(I'm the oldest). I am doing the same thing with my son, and he is so excited for his baby sister to join our family in December. He constantly asks how she's doing and he can't wait to be a big brother. I take care of 6 month old twins during the week, and my son said he can't wait for Lucy because she will never leave like the twins do. It certainly is possible to give your kids a harmonious sibling relationship, it just takes a lot of patience.

AbbyHintz 2 years 45 weeks

I grew up as an only child. I think I have a stronger bond with my parents than my friends who have siblings. But, I don't have a sibling and didn't grow up with the benefits of a sibling -- like they teach you how to interact with your peers, even before you are in school. Because of my age, I will only be having one child. But I worry about what she will miss without a brother or sister.

macneil 2 years 45 weeks

My daughters are 1 and 3, and I adore them both. But they really don't like each other. The little one wants to do what the big one is doing, the big one wants to be left alone. They fight all the time. The older one has become incredibly insecure and needy about my love for her. I don't get enough time to play with the little one alone and am always stopping her from doing what she wants to do. Both feel short changed. I feel so guilty. My elder daughter would have been so happy as an only child, and my younger daughter is not getting the constant love her sister had. I don't know if I would have had two if I'd known this. I hope it gets better, but keep reading things about sisters not necessarily loving each other or liking each other. I've bought about two dozen books on the subject, and they're not very optimistic. I just feel so guilty, because I love my girls so much, and think I've made them unhappy. Sometimes they laugh together, though, and those moments are wonderful.

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