When it comes to child custody, moms tend to have an edge on the competition. Judges often find them more capable and sometimes, dads agree and settle for either joint custody or visitation rights. However, there are cases where a father fights tooth and bone for his offspring and can win the court's decision if he shows all the right stuff.
One couple came to the end of their marital road and both decided their three boys would be better off living with the mother. As the dad moved south for a job, the mama found herself refereeing wrestling matches, fighting migraines and suffering panic attacks. At the point of a mental breakdown, she relinquished custody and shipped the young lads off to their father where he would raise them into fine young men.
While some might see the mother's actions as selfish, others may say she put the children's needs before her own. Would you give up custody of your babies if you knew their father was a more competent parent?
Just Cavalli
If you are unfit to be the custodial parent, then you should be able to say "this is what is best for my kids" and do it. I am sure it would be hard, but if I truly felt that I was incapable of raising my kids in the best way possible, or that my ex/child's father would give them a better environment, then I would do whatever was necessary. That is totally unselfish. That is one of the most selfless things a person can do. You never give up custody out of hatred or out of selfishness. You do it out of immense love.
1I'm sure it would be a very difficult decision, but if you didn't think you could handle them then joint or full custody should be given over to the other parent.
2when you can't do the job required, it's someone elses turn.
3I don't think it's selfish at all - I think it's the oppisite: she realized what was best for her children and acted on that .
4This sort of thing happened to a friend of mine, she had custody, but after a car accident was unable to care for her boys, so she and her ex came to an agreement with no messy custody battles or child support, they would just care and support the boys as needed. Seeing that the two parents are still friends probably makes this situation easier.
5Christine, I wish what you said (You never give up custody out of hatred or out of selfishness. You do it out of immense love.) was the absolute truth, but in my experience it wasn't.
A year after my mother remarried, she gave up custodial custody of myself (aged 13) and my brother (aged 12) after 5 years of joint custody. She didn't know but we were on the stairs and overheard the conversation with our father. She just decided one day that she couldn't parent us any more, that "she couldn't handle us." Meanwhile my 16 year old stepsister continued to live with her and my step father. In a lot of ways, I saw her picking her new husband over her kids.
I ceased to have a relationship with her at all until I was in college and she had divorced my step father. Thankfully, my brother and I had an amazing father who stepped up. But her decision has left life long scars, effecting my self esteem and even my ability to accept that I am lovable. I have been in counseling for years to address some of these issues and have been on depression medication. Looking back I know being raised by my father and not by my mother was a good thing for me, but it doesn't hurt any less.
Maybe from my mother's point of view it was selfless, but from where I sit, it was selfish.
6If I were unable to raise my child for physical, mental or financial reasons, and I knew that their father was more than adequate to take over, I'd give them over. Would it be an easy decision? I doubt it. But my responsibility as a parent would be to act in the best interest of my child, even if that means that they would not be with me.
7NoviNovela--- LET ME TELL U SOMETHING, IF I COULD UNLOAD MY TWELVE YR OLD TO MY EX I WOULD DO IT IN A HEART BEAT.
YOU WANNA KNOW WHY I CAN'T?
MY EX IS THE DEVIL HIMSELF, DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYONE BUT HIMSELF.
HE RAPES KIDS,
HE IS SO SELFISH
THE BOTTOM LINE- I WON'T LET HIM CARE FOR MY DOG.
SO, THAT WHY I CAN'T SEND HIS SON TO HIM, HE'S BETTER OFF WITH ME.
IF MY EX WOULD DO A BETTER JOB THAN ME, THEN WHY WOULDNT I LET HIM DO ALL THE WORK & I STILL BE THEIR MOM.
YOU GAVE YOUR MOTHER A REALLY BAD TIME. IT WAS MORE THAN SHE CAN HANDLE SO DONT BLAME HER COMPLETELY ON EVERYTHING.
BECAUSE SHE GAVE BIRTH TO YOU DON'T GIVE U THE RIGHT TO CONTINUE TO TORMENT HER DAILY.
AS A MATTER OF FACT I COMMEND THOSE WOMEN THAT HAVE THE COURAGE TO DUMP YOU MORRONS WHO THINK ITS OK TO TORMENT THEIR MOTHER EVERY MINUTE OF THEIR LIFE.
IF U ARE 13, A BOY & YOU STILL DON'T KNOW U ARE TORMENTING UR MOTHER BY NOT GETTING UP ON TIME TO GO SCHOOL, MISSING SCHOOL BUS, NOT HELPING FEED URSELF & CLEAN UR ROOM, DROPPING FOOD PARTICLES EVERYWHERE MAKING IT INCREASINGLY NASTY TO LIVE WITH YOU,
ON TOP OF IT GETTING BAD REPORTS FROM SCHOOL
U CONTINUE TO TORMENT HER IN EVERYWAY U CAN,
AT 13, U RE NOT HELPING HER TO HELP U, THEN SHE’S FREE TO DUMP YOU TO ANYONE SHE THINKS CAN DO BETTER. SHE’S TRIED SO DON’T BLAME, SHE GAVE U A CHANCE.
I WON'T BLAME ANY WOMAN 4 NOT WANTING TO PUT UP WITH THAT.
IT'S A MATTER OF CHOICE.
YOU OWE UR MOTHER HER YOUTH, HER EFFORT, PUTTING UP WITH U UNTILL YOU WERE THAT 12 & 13.
HOW MUCH DID YOU PAY HER 4 UR UPBRINGING TILL U WERE THAT 12 & 13.
HOW MUCH DID U PAY HER FOR DISFIGURING HERSELF TILL U WERE BORN?-PRICELESS-
GO CALL UR MOTHER & START FROM THERE
THIS IS MODERN AGES, & ITS ABOUT TIME WOMEN START SUING THEIR GROWN UP CHILDREN WHO ARE SIMPLY IGNORING THEM.
THEY CARRY U, GIVE BIRTH TO U, FEED U, CLOTH U & GIVE UP EVERY PLAN
THEY HAVE 4 U, EVEN WHEN THE SPERM DONORS WALKS AWAY COS U SHOWED UP THEREFORE THE FUN IS OVER, UR MOTHER STAYED & WAS THERE 4 U.
IT DOSENT MATTER IF SHE DID IT RIGHT OR WRONG, SHE SIMPLY DIDN’T THROW U AWAY, REGARDLESS OF WHY U THINK SHE KEPT U- SHE WAS THERE 4 U. & WHEN UR ALL GROWN U HATE HER 4 MAKING A FEW MISTAKES.
PHONE CALLS TO HER BECOMES A PRECIOUS THING SHE DON’T DESERVE?
SHE DESERVES TO GATHER UR POOPS & KEEP U CLEAN BUT SHE DON’T DESERVE UR GRACIOUS PHONE CALL? U CAN DO BETTER THAN A CALL,
TAKE CARE OF HER, IT’S YOUR JOB PERIOD
IF U CAN’T TREAT HER RIGHT AT HER OLDER AGE, SHE HAS THE RIGHT TO
8SUE U FOR EXPENSES, COST OF REARING U & TIME SPENT RAISING U.
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