Is Motherhood Learned or Innate?

Beyond Giving Birth, Is Motherhood Learned or Innate?

September 14, 2010

It's a mother's instinct...or is it? Some women believe that when baby arrives, a parent knows what to do. Other people think that moms adapt to circumstance and learn (and earn) the role through experience with a child. What's your opinion — giving birth technically makes a woman a mother, but does the ability to mother happen at birth or take time?
Photos copyright 2010 MTV

Parenting Motherhood

12 Comments

tksinclair 2 years 35 weeks

Not really either or in my book! A little of both.

lawchick 2 years 35 weeks

Girl Jen, I love your honesty and I'm sure you are a great mother!! We're having a baby in January and are both so clueless about babies. I'm hoping at least some of it comes naturally!! :)

lawchick 2 years 35 weeks

Girl Jen, I love your honesty and I'm sure you are a great mother!!We're having a baby in January and are both so clueless about babies. I'm hoping at least some of it comes naturally!! :)

amber512 2 years 35 weeks

Definitely a little of both.

amber512 2 years 35 weeks

Definitely a little of both.

2 years 35 weeks

Not only does it depend on the woman, but it depends on the child as well. Some children and mothers (as well as fathers) "click" into an innate sense of understanding immediately. Some do not.

2 years 35 weeks

I also, am looking for the "both" option! I believe much is a trial and error basis while other instances we go purely off of our "mommy" gut feeling.

starbucks 2 years 35 weeks

It was definitely learning for me...I had never held a baby and had no expierence whatsoever. But it was also a lot of instinct...you just know exactly what to do right now, just because it feels right. And at other times you're lost and googling symptoms ;)

amandachalynn 2 years 35 weeks

It depends on the woman. It's not an either-or situation.

2 years 35 weeks

I agree, Where's the BOTH option? For some people it seems to be instinctual and others it's a huge learning curve. For some of us it was easier because we'd had lots of experience with other peoples kids. I have 3 sisters who are all quite a bit older than I am, and I had had the opportunity to pracitce parenting on their kids with everything from wee babies through preschoolers, including middle of the night feedings, nasty diaper changes and sick little ones. I found adapting to having my own child and being a full time parent fairly sinple and not a lot surprised me, but my husband was on a huge learning curve. He'd had no experience and hadn't really even held a baby before we had our children.

Girl Jen 2 years 35 weeks

When my daughter was born, I realized that I had no idea how to care for a baby. Once I figured that out, she turned into a toddler. And when I got the hang of that, she turned into a preschooler! Motherhood is a constant learning process. I'm more adept as a mother than I was when my little one was first born, but I still spend a majority of the time feeling like I don't know what I'm doing. It's a constant learning curve.

2 years 35 weeks

Where's the "both" option?

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