Ok so technically Michael is still your childs name and if you didn't want him to be called that then you should have only given him one name and not two.
I could see if they were using a different name like Peter or Robert but Michael is on the birth certificate so I don't see what the fuss is about.

Gosh, this is so rude! My grandma doesn't like our daughter's first name either and called her by her middle name the first few days. I told her to knock it off! She doesn't have to like the name we chose! It's our decision, accept it!

My great-aunt had a grandchild named Dirk. She didn't like that so she called him Timmy his entire life. Which is not his middle name or a nickname for anything. She just liked the name Timmy! Yeah, she was kind of a crazy gal...

I do, Anon. ^^ (and god Anon comments annoy me).

Micheal is his MIDDLE NAME. Say my parents named me first name: Anne, middle name: Julia (not my name) and my grandparents called me Julia. not my name.

to the OP: "I'm sorry you don't like our choice of August's first name, but it IS his first name and we would appreciate you calling him that."

It does not matter what they think about the name they should call the child by the name that the parents call the baby. It is so rude and childish to be acting that way. I would confront them or have your husband do it. Afterall they are his parents.

I went through the exact same thing. I remember as a little girl when people would call me Alex my mother would say if I wanted to name you Alex I would have your name is Alexandra. When we choose the name Madeline for our daughter my in-laws instantly starting calling her by her middle name Andrea. I would give little hints at the beginning but when at my baby shower my husband's side of the family put my daughter's middle name on the gifts I felt like it was enought. I told them that her name was Madeline and that is what we were going to call her. I did not want her to get confused as to why mommy and daddy called her one thing and they called her something else. Just be forward and if you feel uncomfortable have your husband say something too.

My children have more than 1 name on their birth certificates, but those names are not hyphenated so that's not the name they are to be called by. We have friends who use their daughters middle name as her name but have done so since birth and made that clear to everyone. My SIL named her daughters names we do not like but we do not call her girls by other names. The name the parents chose and chose to use is the name everyone should be using. It's only up to the child when they're older to change it if the chose.

Oh gosh, that is just disrespectful. I am feeling irritated for you just reading this!
I would say what everyone else has suggested. Sorry that you don't agree with our choice of first name, but that is what we chose, and is his first name, and we would appreciate if you called him that.
August is a nice name

That is beyond rude.

A middle name isn't a backup for those who aren't fond of a first name.

The parent's wishes should be respected, absolutely.

I find your in-laws actions disrespectful. When you tell them to knock if off, be honest, straight- forward and don't beat around the bush. They haven't.

Wow this is crazy, and I am shocked that so many other families have had similar situations!

When my brother, who is older then me, was born my parents named him after my dad but did not want his name shortened (like Bobby, Ralphie, etc) they just wanted him to be called Mark. Well after a week of Marky, Little Mark, etc. my mom had it and his whole life he has gone by J.R. (for Junior) because she hated Marky and the like. People JUST DON'T LISTEN to parents wishes.

When my younger cousin was born I loved his name, James, and they started calling him James in the beginning. After a few months it slowly switched to Jimmy, I was one of the last James hold outs since I loved it so much, but now he is such a Jimmy I love it!

I had a similar situation with my monster-in-law - she would *deliberately* mispronounce my daughter's name. Say, for example, her name is Maria - Muh-ree-uh, right? No, my mother-in-law would do it as Muh-rye-uh, just to be a b*tch. I kept calling my daughter by the correct pronunciation and it made no difference. This went on until my daughter was 6 months old, when I finally cracked. The MIL was visiting and kept on with the mispronunciation, I was cooking dinner and just turned around and said "Actually, we pronounce her name Muh-ree-uh and the reason she's not responding to you is because you are mispronouncing her name and she doesn't realize you are talking to her."
Of course, this has just been one little thing in a whole long list of them, so the OP had better watch out!!

My grandmother once hated my mom (her daughter-in-law), who came up with a fanciful, made-up name for me. So when my grandmother subsequently mispronounced my name for the first year of my life, I have to wonder now if she was honestly confused by it, or if she was just doing it to spite my mother. I'm in my mid-30's and Grandma has it right, so all is well...of course, when I was 10 my mom forgot how to spell the weird middle name she'd made up for me, but that's a story for another day...

Anon1, I cannot believe you don't see the problem. There is a HUGE difference between a first and a middle name, and it's rude as hell to ignore that and call the child his/her middle name unless it's how the parents chose to do it.

I think it's also rude to shorten a person's name without asking, whether the person is a child or an adult. When a person introduces themselves (or is introduced by a parent) that is the name you use, period. Nicknames and pet names come up with time, but I still think you ask the person's permission (or the parent's permission if the child is too young to give it) before using it. My mother-in-law shortens my son's name even after she's been asked numerous times not to do it. I consider it payback that my son doesn't recognize it as his name, so he doesn't acknowledge it (not intentionally, he truly doesn't realize she's addressing him).

I think the issue is the power play by the in-laws. Grandparents sometimes have issues with letting their OWN children go on and make decisions as parents without their input or say so. Said grandparents sometimes deal with their own feelings about letting go by acting childishly and doing passive-aggressive things like choosing to call their grandchild by a name they, themselves would have chosen. My own mother, when we are together with my son, often tries to parent him or undercut my parenting choices, which is VERY annoying. She even told me once that she loves my son JUST as much as I do....and I know that she loves him, but...seriously. I think it's all a process, and you have to be as honest as possible while trying not to play into it by getting angry (as difficult as that can be).

When I was born my parents named me Cynthia. My dad made it clear from the start when the nurses tried to call me Cyndi that I was infact a Cynthia. When my Dad's family tried the same thing, my sisters spoke up loudly saying, "her name's Cynthia, NOT Cyndi!" A simple straight response had it all cleared up quickly with no arguement.

I would tell them that if they insist on continueing to do this? that you will start calling them by their first names instead of grandma and grandpa.

If the in-laws don't get the straight talk, try giving them a dose of their own medicine... call them by different names and see how they like it. They may get with the program sooner than later.

Like everyone has said, be firm! And honestly if they keep doing it, I would eventually tell him that they cannot see him unless they call him by his proper name.

My name is Susan, and my middle initial is A. So on all of my papers, it would say "Susan A _____" People would constantly call me Susana, when Susana is not my name, even when I told them my name was Susan. I personally love my name, and wouldn't let anyone call me something other than Sue or Susie (To call me Susie though, you have to be close to me)

omg how rude.... cant believe other ppl had this problem too and not just the OP i'd be livid......what has hubby done to improve the situation?

Snowy brings up a really good point - these are your husband's parents, why is it up to YOU to work this out? He should be stepping up to the plate and addressing his parents. If not, he's pretty spineless.

I went thru this same thing with my now 4 yr. old.

His name is Lawrence Jay. (Named in honor of his Grandfathers.) I knew from the beginning that I would call him by the nickname Lawrie. (A throw back to one of my favortie books...) But the in-laws hated it because it sounds like "a girl's name." THEY decided they would call him "L.J." which made me cringe everytime I heard it. They would feign the inability to pronouce Law-ree and refused to prounouce it Lor-ree because it sounded like a girl's name...
I didn't confront them outright... but DID backhandedly make jabs at them for being unable (read: unwilling) to call him Lawrie. Fortunately for us, they eventually gave in and gave UP on calling him "L.J.!"
I would imagine that the same would happen for the OP... when EVERYONE else is calling him August, they'll eventually feel silly being the only ones that call him Michael. At least that's what happened for us...

I know a few people who had to deal with this with their family with names, especially when there was more then one middle name concerned. I picked a name that was a little off the wall, although a real name, and I wasn't really sure if i was going to have to deal with this. NO ONE liked the name Kairi (ky-ree with ky as in kite) and we got two responses whenever anyone asked or we told family, it was a very hesitant and clearly disapointed "oh..how.. nice" or a flat out, Kairi? why would you name her that?! I was firm and showed no reaction to the crappy remarks, and no one questioned it after she was born and I named her that. I'm about to go through it again, I'm sure if this baby turns out to be a boy.. lol.

Id never put up with it, and I would just say something, or have your husband. I can understand being shocked at first, and letting it slide because it really is shocking and jarring when people are that flat out disrespectful, but enough is enough. They have to call him what YOU named him, not what they waht to, otherwise we wouldn't even bother with names.

I think taking backhanded jibes at them and hoping they tire of it is as childish as their actions. Be the better person, address them directly with your husband at your side.

I completely agree with Chouette, if the grandparents can't be bothered to call your son by his correct name regardless if they like it or not then you couldn't be bothered to let them see their grandchild. If they ask why then tell them they wanted to see "Michael" and you're not sure who that is.

This makes me think of this:
http://www.politico.com/blogs/anneschroeder/0609/No_namecalling.html?sho...

In all seriousness, though, I agree with what others have said. This is extremely rude. Using a nickname is one thing; in that case it could be possible that they were unintentionally doing it. But, in this case, it's obvious that they are intentionally being rude.

We had a variation of this with my sil refusing to call my youngest by her nickname. Finally when she was 3 my daughter said "why don't you call me leelee? That's the real me. Leanne is just my name". The end.

So rude.

That is completely rude! I agree with everyone else that you should be firm with them that Michael is NOT his name.

My son has a hyphenated first name and it drives me crazy when people just use the first of the two names as if the hyphen and everything after it don't exist. To me, it's the same as shortening someone's name without their permission...just rude!

I agree it is rude. I also agree that being straight with them is best. And if that doesn't work then I like babysugars advice of calling them by different names.

I find this no less rude than people automatically shortening someones name if you don't know that they don't mind being called that. My son's name is Michael he wants to be called Michael - many people assume that Mike is acceptable, it's not to any of us so we correct them. This situation to me is no different.

I'm surprised this is such a common issue.

Would it be different if they had a 'nickname' for the baby rather than using the given vs middle name?
I don't see why it's such an issue for the grandparents. So you don't like name... who cares! It is what it is!

Just another tip. If your relationship is anything like mine and my MIL, I'd let my husband address it.

We named one of our twin daughters Charlotte and call her Charlie. She doesn't like it b/c it's her 4th husband's 2nd ex-wife's name! Not my problem!

She's still mad two years later and refuses to call her Charlie. Of course, she hasn't seen my twins in a year, and that has been HER choice. Oh what we ladies have to deal with!!!!!

I can see why this is driving you crazy; it's really rude of them. But I'd suggest keeping your powder dry for other conflicts. The thing is, soon enough this child will be old enough to have his own thoughts.

We named one of our boys Jonathan. Not Jon, Jonny, Jack ... Jonathan. And some of the aunts and uncles called him Jonny, and my husband (!!) even called him Jon for short ... fast forward a few years and two things have happened: 1) I don't mind so much, I got used to it and 2) Jonathan has decided he prefers Jonathan and asks people to call him that, which most people respect.

I understand being pissed off at the in-laws, I really do. But it might be worth seeing if the passage of time sorts this out on its own.