Is Mom Who Called Kids "Pains" in Nanny Ad Justified?

August 28, 2008

If aspiring writer Rebecca Land Soodak wanted attention for her penned words, she certainly got it. Seeking a nanny, the 40-year-old mother of four — Rubin, 12; Ellis, 9; and twins, Cassie and Shay, 6 — wrote a Craigslist post her kids will likely remember. In the ad, she explained her offspring are a pain in the rear (though she used a choice word) and went into depth about her other quirks. The New York painter found a nanny and a bit of infamy, but do you think it was fair to her children?
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34 Comments

3 years 37 weeks

Excuse me. Sorrow was like the wind. It came in gusts. I am from France and learning to speak English, give true I wrote the following sentence: "Being controversial on one card snowball will there use all the delivery's day teams, elite rewards mastercard." Regards ;) Paulin.

MissSushi 4 years 38 weeks

Eh i think its a it crappy at this point. Of COURSE kids are alot of work and sometimes you want to scream at the top of your lungs, but i dont really think it warrents calling them pains in the asses. Being honest and joking is for later, when theyre teens and not influential kids. Most nannys should know what childcare is like..

hithatsmybike 4 years 38 weeks

I don't need to know you to pass judgement on your comments. So far all you've posted are accusations that only bad mothers hire "strangers" to raise their children. If you want me to respond differently, write something different. This is all I have to go on, so if you don't like it, give me more. I commented about the iPhone because I thought it was a cool gift, and I believe it suggests gifts of that nature will likely be in store for the next nanny, which is a serious job perk. I was in no way implying material things had anything to do how much or how little an employer cares for their child's caregiver, I was simply stating that there seems to be some hidden bonuses with the position. This isn't an issue of opinion, otherwise you wouldn't be able to be wrong. Mom's can hire nannies and still be good mothers is a FACT, not an feeling.

hithatsmybike 4 years 38 weeks

I don't need to know you to pass judgement on your comments. So far all you've posted are accusations that only bad mothers hire "strangers" to raise their children.If you want me to respond differently, write something different. This is all I have to go on, so if you don't like it, give me more.I commented about the iPhone because I thought it was a cool gift, and I believe it suggests gifts of that nature will likely be in store for the next nanny, which is a serious job perk. I was in no way implying material things had anything to do how much or how little an employer cares for their child's caregiver, I was simply stating that there seems to be some hidden bonuses with the position. This isn't an issue of opinion, otherwise you wouldn't be able to be wrong. Mom's can hire nannies and still be good mothers is a FACT, not an feeling.

aistea311 4 years 38 weeks

milosmommy: I never said anyone asked me to raise their kids. I was saying that if she didnt need the help, she wouldnt have placed the ad? How in the world is that a complaint?

aistea311 4 years 38 weeks

Wow."I know it's fun to put on your holier-than-thou shroud and look down at parents that have the luxury of getting away from the kids a few hours a week. Maybe you can't afford the same, so hating on it is your guard against anyone finding out how much you'd really like to be in their shoes."I love how in your earlier post you say "And they gave their last nanny an iPhone! SWEET!!" as if materialistic things should be what decides how much a parent cares for their child's caregiver. You do not know me, so this idea that I am "holier-than-thou" is ridiculous. This is a place for opinion, not pointing fingers and acting like your opinion is more credible then my own or anyone elses. Let it go hithatsmybike

aistea311 4 years 38 weeks

Wow. "I know it's fun to put on your holier-than-thou shroud and look down at parents that have the luxury of getting away from the kids a few hours a week. Maybe you can't afford the same, so hating on it is your guard against anyone finding out how much you'd really like to be in their shoes." I love how in your earlier post you say "And they gave their last nanny an iPhone! SWEET!!" as if materialistic things should be what decides how much a parent cares for their child's caregiver. You do not know me, so this idea that I am "holier-than-thou" is ridiculous. This is a place for opinion, not pointing fingers and acting like your opinion is more credible then my own or anyone elses. Let it go hithatsmybike

milosmommy 4 years 38 weeks

Sometimes one child can be just as overwhelming as 100.Oh and aistea311 no one's asking you to help "raise" them so what are you complaining about.

milosmommy 4 years 38 weeks

Sometimes one child can be just as overwhelming as 100. Oh and aistea311 no one's asking you to help "raise" them so what are you complaining about.

milosmommy 4 years 38 weeks

I don't have a nanny, can't afford one. But my MIL lives with us and is the primary caregiver when my husband and I are at work and sometimes we have a date night. In some ways she's like a nanny, but better since she's family. I love how many SAHMs look down on me because I have a little bit of help at home. Sorry I live in the land where we need two incomes to pay the bills, so I don't have a choice but to work. So put yourself in other peoples shoes before you tell them how awful they are because they have help.

hithatsmybike 4 years 38 weeks

You're lumping all women with nannies as those that failed at the mothering game, which is unfair and grossly incorrect. 4 kids is not "a million", and hiring a nanny is not failing to "raise your kids on your own". Like I said, I was a nanny. I worked 3 days a week, from 8am to 4pm. Those were dad's hours, so I rarely saw him, but mom was only gone to work one day of the three that I worked. On the days I was there that she had off, she would use the time to run errands, take yoga class, have lunch with a friend OR she would take one of her two boys out -- one was a baby and the other is 4, so often I would play with the baby while she took her older son to his swimming lessons or playschool."Nanny" no longer fits the traditional role of service that lives in your household and is with your children 24/7. I'm aware that a number of families still hold to that, but another number just hire part-time help because, it's no secret, kids are WORK. That's exactly what this woman is looking for. My 24hrs per week with the family I worked for can't be interpreted as "raising" their children by any stretch of the imagination. I was little more than a frequently-hired babysitter. I spent less time with the kids than plenty do at DAYCARE or PRESCHOOL. And if I cut mom & dad some slack on the ever-exhausting trip that is parenthood, then I'm certain that made them BETTER parents. I know it's fun to put on your holier-than-thou shroud and look down at parents that have the luxury of getting away from the kids a few hours a week. Maybe you can't afford the same, so hating on it is your guard against anyone finding out how much you'd really like to be in their shoes. I never considered having a nanny, until I was one -- now I can't imagine having kids without. Maybe you should give it a shot.

hithatsmybike 4 years 38 weeks

You're lumping all women with nannies as those that failed at the mothering game, which is unfair and grossly incorrect. 4 kids is not "a million", and hiring a nanny is not failing to "raise your kids on your own". Like I said, I was a nanny. I worked 3 days a week, from 8am to 4pm. Those were dad's hours, so I rarely saw him, but mom was only gone to work one day of the three that I worked. On the days I was there that she had off, she would use the time to run errands, take yoga class, have lunch with a friend OR she would take one of her two boys out -- one was a baby and the other is 4, so often I would play with the baby while she took her older son to his swimming lessons or playschool. "Nanny" no longer fits the traditional role of service that lives in your household and is with your children 24/7. I'm aware that a number of families still hold to that, but another number just hire part-time help because, it's no secret, kids are WORK. That's exactly what this woman is looking for. My 24hrs per week with the family I worked for can't be interpreted as "raising" their children by any stretch of the imagination. I was little more than a frequently-hired babysitter. I spent less time with the kids than plenty do at DAYCARE or PRESCHOOL. And if I cut mom & dad some slack on the ever-exhausting trip that is parenthood, then I'm certain that made them BETTER parents. I know it's fun to put on your holier-than-thou shroud and look down at parents that have the luxury of getting away from the kids a few hours a week. Maybe you can't afford the same, so hating on it is your guard against anyone finding out how much you'd really like to be in their shoes. I never considered having a nanny, until I was one -- now I can't imagine having kids without. Maybe you should give it a shot.

macgirl 4 years 38 weeks

If you just read this article it seems a bit shocking- after reading the link I don't think it was really that bad. I am a big fan of hiring people with realistic expectations of what their job will entail.

aistea311 4 years 38 weeks

hithatsmybike: How am I being harsh? If you are praising this woman "Nevertheless, she seems very upfront & blunt" then how am I any different then her with being upfront? IMO, if you cant raise your kids on your own, then you shouldnt be having a million of them. Kids need parents, not a "paid friend". If anything, that is just getting people with nannies ready to join a sorority or fraternity.

bigestivediscuit 4 years 38 weeks

I don't see why this is a big deal.

Trixie6 4 years 38 weeks

I tell my daughter to stop being a PITA (Pain In The Ass) all the time. The first time I said it, she thought it was hilarious & now her friends all call each other PITA.

pinkprincess1101 4 years 38 weeks

"I like it when parents aren't in delusional denial about theirpain-in-the-ass little "angels.""love it foxie i too think she was being upfront and honest why lie and then the nany be in shock maybe she needs nanny911

pinkprincess1101 4 years 38 weeks

"I like it when parents aren't in delusional denial about their pain-in-the-ass little "angels."" love it foxie i too think she was being upfront and honest why lie and then the nany be in shock maybe she needs nanny911

milosmommy 4 years 38 weeks

hithatsmybike I agree with you 100%...it's not easy being a parent and sometimes you know what...they are a pain in the a$$. It's a fact of life.