I have 2 kids and from my first marriage and would love one with my 2nd husband. We are in the midst of our first IVF cycle now. Even if I could have kids no problem...18 is just selfish and ridiculous in my opinion. People donate things to the Duggars and they may not be on govt. assistance, but as I said in my post in the news area...how much quality time could each child have with their parents? I am actually sad for those kids.

When I was younger, like in my teens I used to dream about the family I'd have. The number of children always changed but the biggest number of children I had said I wanted was 10. We have 4, and this is the perfect size for us.

We have many friends who have 7 or more children and one family that we are friends with has 16 children (no twins or multiples in the group). They are one of the happiest, well rounded, active in the community families we've ever known. All the children who are old enough are black belts in tae kwon do (and help their father teach it at their church, and they teach it for free), they all play a musical instrument, they're all homeschooled until middle school, they all go on missionary trips, the older siblings babysit for other families to make some spending/saving money. Their lifestyle works for them, some people were just meant to have big families and they are the perfect example of that.

sorry forgot to add.. I would never criticize anyone for having a large family, just as I would never criticize anyone for deciding not to have children at all. It's just such a personal choice and whatever works for a family is what they should do.

It is a highly personal choice. It's funny that the norm is so strongly 2 kids. I'm pregnant now with baby #3 and sometimes I feel like people are giving me the why? look. Like why more than 2?
3-4 kids is a large family by today's standards.

I want 2-3, but my SO is stuck on strictly 2 kids. I guess we'll just have to figure it out.

lol Annie I know - people are so shocked when they find out we have 4 children, their reactions sometimes is so funny that you'd think we said we had 40 children LOL

Kim--that is exactly it! Like maybe you never heard of birth control or something.

ROFL annie - when people would ask us "don't you know what causes that?" jokingly... we'd answer with - um Yes, why do you think we have all these children??? that usually shut them up pretty quick or gave them a good laugh.

i understand the draw of a large family- but birthing dozens of kids is selfish and wrong.

not only are there thousands of children up for adoption but there are dozens of ecological, economic and social reasons not to overpopulate! just think of this family's carbon footprint to name other things. ugh

if "GOD" wanted you to keep having ridiculous amounts of children, we would've made you a bunny.

people are very rude (i think) about the number of children and the sex of those children. ie, "why no kids?...just the one child?????...two boys/girls, awww are you going to try for the other...so close together, was that planned????" i think people should have whatever they want and can provide for emotionally, financially. personally 5 would have been our limit, but one of our 3 has autism and there is a genetic component so we stopped there.

I just watched that clip and wow did the kids not look excited to be having another baby. Maybe it's just such the norm? I really don't know how I feel about it. Actually it isn't my life so to each their own I just know for me I'm struggling to maintain my sanity with a 9 year old and a 4 month old.

I saw on their web site that she has been pregnant for 135 months of her life!!! I think we will have to stop at 2. We simply can't afford to feed and educate more children and I want them to have a good quality of life. I think it's only irresponsible to have lots of kids if you can't afford to take care of them. If we were well off I would probably consider having one or two more.

As long as they can take care of their children, and they seem to be doing a great job, I don't see what the problem is. My limit is three though.

1 maybe 2 as a max for me. I don't want to be out numbered by my kids.

I am still amazed her uterus has not collapsed. She is definitely going to require some plumbing work after all those children. I mean she is definitely not a Francesca Dennis type(super fit mom of six). Unless you call reading the Bible and being subservient a form of exercise. Basically, having that many children puts a portion of the parental responsibility on the older children to tend to the younger children. I don't necessarily think that is fair to the older children even if it teaches them valuable life lessons.

Dublin62505, this is true...about the older children...they have no life outside the home. They help with their siblings and the housework, etc...which is great for children to do. Don't get me wrong!! BUT...I think the premise behind their having children...because God must want them to...is a bit strange. I will never understand uber religious types. All the kids are homeschooled, I wonder what kind of actual social lives they have. And, I say again...how much QUALITY TIME could the parents be spending with each of their kids???

I think it's funny when people say that having dozens of children is wrong and selfish.

Not accepting other people for who they are is wrong and selfish
Judging others is wrong and selfish
Believing your opinion is the only right one is wrong and selfish

As far as the Duggars go, I can't help but think that the way they raise their children, homeschooling, homechurching, lack of social interraction, etc. would be the same if they only had 2 children. I think it's just the way they are and the way they choose to raise their family, no matter how many children they have. The Duggars are only one example of super sized families, they are not the only example, it's just the only one that most people see. There are plenty of other large families that do things differently and have social interraction, community involvement etc. We shouldn't look to the Duggars as being the universal poster child for large families.

Kimpossible..don't know if you are referring specifically to me but just because I voice my opinion doesn't mean I think everyone else is wrong. If it works for them, whatever, but IN MY OPINION it is selfish. I am entitled to think that, just as you are entitled to think what you want. And I never said I didn't "accept" anyone. I don't even know the Duggars, but from what I have seen of them...yes..I think it is selfish to have that many children. And I never said my opinion was the only right one. Its just that...MY opinion.

I honestly think the Duggars are taking their beliefs to the extreme. I would have no problem telling them that but wishing them well at the same time. Just because I don't agree with what they do doesn't mean I wouldn't wish them healthy and happy children. How ever many they choose to have. Still doesn't change what I personally believe.

I'm sad that those kids are in a situation where they don't get time to play or do sports or other activities outside the home. The older children seem a bit like slaves. I'm sure they are all loved, but there has to be some resentment there. I have a good friend who was the oldest of 4 girls (she was adopted and the others were bio) and spent almost all of her youth babysitting and taking care of her younger siblings and stuff around the house. She ended up resenting her parents and sisters, and now never wants children of her own.

I hope your IVF cycle is going well, faery!

I want 4 kids, 3 would be fine too but I am a middle child and dont want to have a child that is the middle....as for the Duggars I saw a TV show about them on TLC a while ago and thought WOW. MY aunt and uncle are like this...they are Mormon and have 10 kids and they are the same that they say if they keep getting pregnant theyll keep having them because it's God's will. I don't judge them for that as I don't judge the DUggars but I do think that there are so many children in the world and they are such a religious family why wouldn't they adopt? And yes overpopulation is a HUGE problem so why keep having almost 20 kids!?! I just don't get it.

Why does God not tell them to adopt some children? I want 4 children- adopted. There are so many children on the earth unloved, why bring more in when I can help the ones already here?

I hope to have 4 children some day; maybe 2 of my own and 2 adopted... I'm not sure. However I want to give a home to a baby in need, so I will probably adopt at least one child (along with having my own.)

I am all for people making their own choices however in my personal opinion, I think having that a large a family is unfair; no child could possibly get enough attention since every child is needing the exact same thing. Also, it's unfair to the older childeren to have to act as parents; they should enjoy being young.

I also agree with Alllacedup; If god is telling them to have a large family, why not give a home to many children in need? There are so many children abandoned and need love & support.

faerymagic I was not refering to you specifically. You did not say it was wrong, you stated your opinion and I accepted that. The post that prompted my response was from kmckay who stated that it was "wrong and selfish", that indicates that anything different from her opinion is wrong- that's what I had an issue with. However, she's not the first to express this - I've had many people express their opinions in such a righteous and superior manner (both on this topic and many others), and it just gets to me - it's totally unaccepting of others and it doesn't help the situation at all, imo.

I am stunned at the number of times Michelle Duggar has been labeled as selfish. I cannot think of a better example of humility and contentment in serving others than a woman who is willing to forget herself (which,yes, according to God's Word is what we should all do) and be willing to carry and birth so many children. Is their happiness fake? I highly doubt it. Their "poor" children are learning how wonderful it is to serve others rather than themselves.

I might be a really bad judge of facial expressions or something, but all the children on the clip looked pleased to me.

And overpopulation? Come on! Haven't you heard? It's a lie being pushed by the global elite to depopulate society so they can run the show more easily. This world is not even CLOSE to being overpopulated! It's relatively empty, actually. Do some research and don't believe everything you hear!

What a beautiful family. Now THERE'S a role model. Too bad our culture is so twisted and obsessed with pleasing themselves to realize it. Poor blessed woman!

" I would never criticize anyone for having a large family, just as I would never criticize anyone for deciding not to have children at all."

I completely agree. I agree with pretty much everything Kimpossible has said, actually.

We have three, and very open to more. We will never use artificial means of birth control, we will never sterilize ourselves. I would be very happy with one child, I would be very happy with five, six, seven children. It's just highly unlikely that I would be able to have that many - breastfeeding generally suppresses my ovulation for at least a year after having a baby, and we do what we can to avoid pregnancy for another year after that while I'm nursing and ovulating since I can't breastfeed while pregnant without endangering the pregnancy. So I'm guessing at this point I'd top out at 5 at the most.

We get flack for having more than two. We've been told we're selfish and wrong to do more than replace our own spots on this planet. People have a right to think that. I have a right to think they're completely wrong as well.

Bring on the babies. We'll take as many as God gives us. 3 so far.

The overpopulation issue.... that is just so silly. I'm supposed to not have any more children because I'm worried about the planet being overpopulated?

I don't think it's okay to ridicule women for choosing to have their own children instead of adopting either.

I want to have lots of kids myself and I've heard some people think I'm crazy, but it's obviously my choice. However, having watched all of their specials on Discovery Health, I have serious issues with their lifestyle. First off, the kids are almost all the same. They dress the same, they do the same things, they go everywhere and do everything together. When they were asked what they said to people who thought they were all too similar, they got angry and gave examples of all their differences which were all food. Nothing else came up. I personally want a lot of children because I'm excited to have so many personalities and experiences with them. These people are having the exact same kid over and over again. And frankly I do not like that she's being held up as some fantastic mother. She's not the only mother in that household. Her older daughter do a lot for her. She even has them in a buddy system. It's obvious that she cannot do this without the excessive help those children give her.
If you want an example of people with more than 4 children who make it work and are doing a good job, watch Jon&Kate Plus 8. Not only are they realistic about having so many kids, but they are very aware of making sure their kids get individual attention and develop their own personalities. They might fight a lot but that's just how things get done for them. It should also be mentioned that the religious tradition that they belong to is an offshoot of the evangelical church that is not recognized by it. And their only interaction outside of themselves, is a once a year trip to a convention for large, homeschooled families. I just don't think its fair to their kids. Having a large family is a personal choice that you should never have to explain, but its a choice that comes with responsibility and I don't think these parents have lived up to it.

Kimpossible, I wasn't sure if you were referring to me or not, but thanks for clearing that up. I appreciate it very much.

Ekaterinaballerina, well said.

To each his own. If they are content, that's all that matters. To say it;s not fair to the kids is silly. Every family small or large does things differently in ways that may not seem fair to others. Playing sports is not the only way to give a child a fair childhood. To me, the family seems self sufficient, if others want to donate to them it's fine. And to say they should adopt makes no sense. I think that they are anti birth control because of their religion, so even if they adopted, they would still continue having biological children.
That being said, I could not do this, I'm not selfless enough to be constantly pregnant or breastfeeding. Two or three would be enough for me.

Just because they have a particular conviction on how they dress does not mean that all of them have the same personality. Clothes don't make the man, or woman.

And I'm not sure why people think these children are isolated or unsocialized. They're on TV every time you turn it on. And somehow despite their lives as poor recluses, they have better social skills than 90 percent of their public school age mates.

No, she doesn't do it all alone. She is a wise manager and knows how to delegate. More importantly than that, she has help from her Heavenly Father.

Now about the "all J's name thing"- That is a bit much!

whoa kimpossible- this is a comment board, not my avenue for preaching my "superior" opinions. i didn't know i had to write "IN MY OPINION" after everything i comment on. i'll keep it in mind for next time so i don't offend anyone

I think the Duggar family is completely ridiculous. It's selfish to have a family that big because you are forcing it on the children because that is what the parents want. Sure the mother is giving up her own life to bear, care for and raise 18 kids, but it's HER CHOICE. The older kids had no say in the matter. The parents are thinking of what they want, not what is best for the children. I am the oldest of three, the other two being 10 and 15 years younger than me. I definitely took on a mother role to the younger ones. Since it was only two of them and my parents were fair and reasonable, it was nothing drastic that made me resent them later (my siblings or my parents). I love the idea of big extended families (I have 20 cousins on one side of the family and 10 on the other and we are all very close), but with both parents working today and the cost of living, etc. I just don't see how you can provide a quality (emotional, financial and otherwise) life to that many kids. There simply aren't enough hours in the day. And it's not God's will that makes them keep having children. It's simple biology - a fertile man and a fertile woman have sex without using any birth control and at some point that will result in a pregnancy. These people need to be realistic.

That lady is probably gonna die popping a baby out, but at least she'll die happy. And BTW, I'd rather have 17 brothers and sisters than being an only child. Just my opinion.

I personally have always wanted a large family so I will take as many as God gives me...ppl think I am nuts to want a large amount of kids but what can you do? As for the Druggar fam, I think its great if having all those kids makes them happy...they look all look happy to me and in the end thats all that really counts.

wow..that's alot of kids!! but if it makes them happy, more power to them. i have three kids with hubby and we are happy with that. no more, no less.

Personally, I can't get past the fact that the guy's name is Jim Bob. I didn't think people really had names like that! The Kennedy's have huge families and I don't hear anyone complaining about them. I don't get having 18 kids; to me that is beyond having a big family and I do think it is selfish, but to each their own.

i wouldn't
but for those people who can handle it
and devote their lives to their children
i say, "good for them!"

Back in the day people had 10+ kids and no one batted an eye. Now these people and kids are being sensationalized.

I mean good for them, and apparently they are having lots of fun - making babies! To each his own.

What I don't like is that they told the kids they would be having a baby on national television. It just seems very poor taste to tell them that way.

Nope. My husband and I are content with our family of two -- just him and me. We're child-free by choice.

We've been teased,"Don't you know how to make babies??" Sure, we're very familiar with the process. We just bypass a certain result, that's all.

i want 3

one thing about the duggars...i think it's nice to see children/young adults who are well behaved and help out within the family. i know it's strange to see a large group of kids who behave like this family---but, you do have to admit...they seem happy with their lives.

personally, i'd like to have as many children as i can care for. if i can only afford to raise and educate 2, then it will be 2...but, if i can afford 6, it will be 6.

Ekaterinaballerina...I'm glad you mentioned Jon and Kate plus 8...now THAT is a family that is large, realistic, and doesn't seem like they are just a little bit crazy.

I cannot believe all the negative things people are saying about this family. Big or small they are a wonderful religious family doing their best with what they got. I'm sure if those kids were so unhappy they would let somebody know since they are on the tv all the time. The only time I get upset with people having kids is when the mom is so doped up on anything and everything and doesn't give a *#@$ about the baby. What does she do when she's done having the kid, hey I need to score but I don't have any money here's my body oops now I'm knocked up again for the fifth time. This happens all the time. Those are the disgusting people out there that need the negative talk. Shame on you.

We're done at three, but if I hadn't had two unplanned pregnancies I think I would have only ever had one.

i think that this family should stop having kids after the next baby, seriously.

I don't think I could handle more than two kids. But, that's me. We have family friends who have 8 kids and they are some of the sweetest kids you have ever met. I'm surprised that people would criticize families where the children are really involved in the family and pitching in to make it all work. I think that's pretty much been considered a good thing for all of time...

I also think it's a little silly to criticize this family for their carbon footprint when I would bet that there are a lot of families with only two or three kids with significantly larger carbon footprints. Families where Mom, Dad and all the kids drive their own SUVs. Families that are highly materialistic, buying new things all the time, eating out, etc...

I agree with Finn, I am an only child and I thought it was selfish of my parents not to give me at least one sibling. So you know, Stephcorinn, anytime two people start a family it's usually their choice, not the kids, how they run it.

I say to each his own and this applies to the Duggar family too, but YES they are selfish. Everyone here keeps saying well if it makes them happy, well what about the children. Are the parents thinking about them? Doing something because it makes you happy and not thinking of the others involved is SELFISH. Bluepuppybites what makes you think they would let people know if they weren't happy, children don't tell people (especially their parents) a lot of things because they don't what to disappoint them or get them upset. Those kids did not look excited to me it looked like a forced tv excited. Is their oldest son who is an adult still living at home, and if so why, that just seems strange to me?
Honeymama you might not believe that the world is overpopulated but no one can deny that we are pushing our resources to the limit and this is caused by the growth of the world population. Now if you don't believe that I suggest you do some research.

I totally agree that the parents are the ones who make the decisions and it's their choice how many kids to have. That's why I think it is selfish of them to have so many. They are only thinking about what they want. They are free to decide what they want, but it would be less selfish of them to take into account what is best for their other children. I just don't see how this can actually be a functioning, happy family. But, again, we are each free to make our own decisions. I just think that if they have that much love to give children and they are trying to please God, then adopting some children would be the better option. Have some biological children and then help out those less fortunate children and give them a chance at a better life.

Romaniagrl how do you know your parents weren't acting unselfishly by allowing you to have their undivided attention? I see nothing wrong with having one child because they will never have to worry about who the favorite is or have compete with other kids for mommy and daddy's attention.
At least if a woman remains childless her selfishness is not affecting anyone else.