Kids Party Rule

Kiddie Soirée: Who Makes the Cut?

May 23, 2008

When it came to our "no party talk" poll that some schools enforce, you were split on the issue. Some readers supported the rule, while others were concerned that it sheltered tots from the real world and its tough lessons. Still many parents said asking the entire class was too expensive — especially given the posh parties that have become so popular.

So I pose this question — if money didn't matter, which would you rather?
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13 Comments

mbev1234 4 years 51 weeks

Also, when is it the appropriate age to have just same gender parties?

mbev1234 4 years 51 weeks

Birthday parties have gotten so crazy. I have had some big parties for my kids, but truthfully it is so exhausting! We have my one daughters school friends, my friend's kids, playgroup friends and cousins. That's over 30 kids! My daughter loves the big parties, however I would love to have a small party for her at a tea house or something. Unfortunatley, if some people weren't invited, they would be hurt and some even angry.

Kimpossible 4 years 51 weeks

I'm like jessie, we don't do "kid" parties. I don't agree with parties at school, especially now when the teachers are hard pressed to get some real teaching time into the day as it is. When we have parties at home it's family only. When the children are older, then they can invite a friend or two over to celebrate with the family (like my oldest who is 16 her friends are like family to us too), and my middle daughter who is 11 her friends are starting to become that way too. If I were to do "kid" parties though I would have the child invite who they wanted, and simply explain to them that it is bad manners to discuss the party with people who are not invited. but would not make a huge deal about "not telling other people". It's a matter of raising my children with social graces and to resepct others.

anniekim 4 years 51 weeks

A quick question--is it acceptable to have only a single gender invited to the party? or would that break school rules as well?

anniekim 4 years 51 weeks

Good point Greggie. My oldest is only in preschool so the entire class is only 12 kids. Once she starts kindergarten the class will probably be closer to 25 and that is a whole different deal. For ex. the YMCA has a 20 child max. for their birthday parties.

mommy bug 4 years 51 weeks

In my country, parents spend so much on 1st birthday parties. Parties have unifying theme and the child is dressed up in a made-to-order costume in the same theme. It's fun! I figure, it only happens once anyway.

lickety split 4 years 51 weeks

my 2 younger girls do what every they want. the last couple of years they have opted to go to disneyland rather than have birthday party's. they have their birthdays w/i a few days of each other and they know they have to agree disneyland or party. we kind of go all out for the parties for my younger 2. largly because my oldsst has severe autism and because of that we have almost no "moments" with her. i'm not even sure i can explain what i'm talking about but last weekend she noticed her sisters braces (she's had the braces for about 6 months) and was putting her tounge over her own teeth and laughing at her sisters teeth. that was a "moment" where we all got to share something. the last one was in february and i don't remember one before that. anyway, i feel like i miss everything with my first daughter and i can't stand the thought that i will miss anything else.

Greggie 4 years 51 weeks

I'm perfectly ok with them not doing classroom parties. I couldn't afford to bring in goodies and stuff for 25 kids anyway, especially in addition to his regular birthday party.

anniekim 4 years 51 weeks

If money wasn't an object I would invite the whole class and whatever other friends. I would have the party at the YMCA or little gym or some such place that has activities for the kids and sets a strict time limit. If I had to have it at home it would be much smaller!

Renees3 4 years 51 weeks

A lot of schools now don't allow you to bring in treats and such. And they rarely have class parties. When I was young we had them all the time and it was great haha My sister teaches 2nd grade and said they're only allowed a couple parties a year and they have all these rules. It's a bummer. But I loved birthday parties too, my mom always had me invite just my friends I wanted and I don't even remember ever talking about it or that being an issue.

blackjade 4 years 51 weeks

I remember growing up we would always have a classroom party - mom would bring cupcakes or cookies. Then I was allowed to invite a few friends (no more than 4) over to the house for cake and ice cream that weekend.

Greggie 4 years 51 weeks

I let him invite who he wants, whether that friend is in his class, another class, or from outside his school. I see no point in making him invite the whole class if he doesn't even like some of them. As I said in the other thread, if there was a "no party talk" rule at school, I'd enforce it. But we already encourage him to not talk about his parties at school anyway. We can't send in treats for their birthday here.

jessie 4 years 51 weeks

i don't do classmate partys. they can take a treat in, but thats it. for a party at home its family and very close friends. i really don't have the patience for a whole bunch of kids running around.

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