Kate Gosselin Talks About Spanking

Do You Agree With Kate Gosselin's Statement on Spanking?

by 83

TLC's star of Jon and Kate Plus 8 recently responded to the reports and photos released of the mother whacking her 5-year-old daughter Leah on the behind outside the Gosselin's abode over the weekend. Kate's reps issued this statement on the incident to Life & Style. She said:

Whether the paparazzi are there or not, I am a mother first. I love my children and when they misbehave, I discipline them as I deem appropriate for the situation.

Sixty-nine percent of lilsugar readers said they were spankers, what is your opinion of the mom of eight's statement?
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PollSpankingDisciplineJon And Kate Plus 8The Gosselins

83 Comments

TineBrok TineBrok
A society that says that it is illegal to hit other people when they are adults cannot possibly say that hitting the smallest and most vulnerable members of our society is perfectly fine. If it is assault when done to an adult, it is assault when done to a child, whether that child is yours or not. There are over 30 countries that have banned any sort of corporal punishment for children, and some of these nations did so over 30 years ago. In these countries attitudes to corporal punishment have changed drastically. In Denmark, for instance, it is simply unheard of to hit your child, you just wouldn't do it. It is also illegal. Resorting to physical violence to make your point is a failure of parenting, it is a failure of leadership, and it reflects a parent who does not understand that there are other options and other extremely successful approaches to child rearing. Children who are treated with respect and who's parents are involved with them, setting boundaries as appropriate but not by using fear or intimidation, are generally vastly more co-operative and pro-social than those who are frightened into submission. The word 'discipline' means 'to teach'. What are you teaching your child when you hit them? That those who are bigger and stronger get what they want? That children are not as valuable or to be respected? That the way to solve your problems with other people is by intimidating them and using violence? I do not accept that there is a difference between violence used for discipline and violence that is abuse. The difference is only of degree, not of kind. Parents who use physical means to 'discipline' children are missing out on a deeper more co-operative and trusting relationship with their children, and their children are missing out on the opportunity to develop vital social skills in a way that includes them in the process rather than attempts to force them to comply without real understanding.
Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE: Child buttock-battering for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit. Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing, and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit. I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do. There are several reasons why child buttock-battering isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals: Plain Talk About Spanking by Jordan Riak, The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children by Tom Johnson, NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D. Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. There is an abundance of educational literature, testimony, documentation, etc available on the subject that can easily be found by doing a little research on the topic. Just a handful of those helping to raise awareness of why child buttock-battering isn't a good idea: American Academy of Pediatrics American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Center For Effective Discipline PsycHealth Ltd Behavioral Health Professionals Churches' Network For Non-Violence Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child Countries where child buttock-battering is prohibited by law: Sweden, Finland, Norway, Austria, Cyprus, Italy, Denmark, Latvia, Croatia, Bulgaria, Germany, Israel, Iceland, Ukraine, Romania, Hungary, Greece, Netherlands, New Zealand, Portugal, Uruguay, Venezuela, Chile, Spain, Costa Rica, Republic of Moldova, and more in process. In fact, the US was the only UN member that sis not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.
That is one of the reasons I will never have kids. there is so much pressure on mothes nowadays. if she hadn't spanked her kids she would have been accused of not being about to handle them. They can't win. I was spanked on the bum when i was a kid and it didn't do me any harm.
...adding to that last comment....spanking your child is just as lazy as resorting to the bible to run your life for you. Think for yourselves, people!
Spanking a child is the result of either laziness or poor communication skills of the parent. It is the parent's responsibility to pay enough attention to their kids and communicate with them successfully BEFORE they act out and would, in someone else's eyes, require a spanking. There are other ways to discipline your kids, the real truth is the parents are often the ones needing discipline. If you find yourself wanting to discipline your kid by swatting them, ask yourself "where did I fail as a parent" and fix it your damn self!
Eventhough, I personally don't believe in spanking, I don't think that her giving her a little spank on the butt was so bad. It is not like she beat her. There is a difference. We all have our moments as mothers when our kids get the best of us. It is unfortunate that it happened and for the world to see and critique. I would love to see cameras follow every mother around and critique every move they made. Yes,, they agreed to be on camera, but come on, enough is enough. Doing a show and having paparazzi following and publishing your every move is very different. They don't deserve this at all.
It wasn't in public, and many parents look like that when they spank their children. if your child is being a brat your gonna be angry.
prestopink prestopink
I do believe in spanking only when it is absolutely appropriate, and your child has done something so wrong, that could put them in danger, they must remember a way to not put themselves in danger. We have not "baby-proofed" our house, i do not believe in "baby-proofing", if my daughter goes near a plug or picks up a chemical bottle she would expect some sort of spanking. Now, she knows better, and she never touched things that can put her in danger.
I think there is a difference between spanking and Kate Gosslen spanking. The woman has shown over and over again that when it comes to a choice between her needs and the needs of her children, she will always take priority. I would never trust that her discipline was about educating of her children. She showed this by spanking Leah and then not doing follow up reinforcement conversation, explaining to Leah why she was spanked. I think this was just another moment of temper of Kate's.
I believe in spanking to a certain extent and feel that what Kate Gosselin did was ok.
I love my kids more than life itself...i breathe because of them...but you better believe when they act up im going to spank there booty's...i dont do it hard just enough to get my point across...and half the time they laugh when i do it.....in my bible it says spare the rod spoil the child....i grew up getting spankings not very often because they did the trick and i was well behaved
twilightlover1 twilightlover1
1 of you said that spakings were not child abuse but the way my dad spanked me you would have a complete different view. I am not old enough to have children but i do know for sure that spanking will not be my form of discipline. I am not saying at all that spanking is wrong its just not my method. I dont like the idea hitting or popping a child at all but she did it outside where the paparazzi could put it in tabloids.Her buisness could have been taken care of in another matter and she was wrong!!
clareberrys clareberrys
I'm not against spanking and I would have said that Kate's actions were fine until I read the story behind WHY she spanked the child (if it is true). I feel like spanking a child because they did not stop blowing a whistle when asked is inappropriate.
I have only spanked my 4 y.o. once and it was one swat on her bare butt. And yes, I did it out of anger...that's why I swatted her instead of giving her a time out like usual...I'd just HAD IT and lashed out in frustration because this particular bad behavior deed kept being done by her for weeks and I just didn't know what else to do when nothing else worked. I was actually shocked I had done it and called my husband at work to talk it out because I was so upset. But it worked! She never did that particular bad deed ever again!!! I think even in the heat of anger, if you are a good parent and love your child, you aren't going to do anything more than a swat or two.
Give the family a break it not like she pick-up a object and beat the hell out the child. A few smack on a child behind is not going to kill them. There bottom made burn and sting. But the hurt stops and the child might remember next or not.But after a couple of spanking I bet she will. A month of Jon and Kate plus 8 seen on ever magazine is even move I sure the people taking or writing the stories has spank a child before I have that does not make me a monster
Kimpossible Kimpossible
bluebloom said "Whatever your views on spanking, someone who is prone to hitting as a form of communication ("affectionate" or not) should NOT be using spanking to discipline her children." I agree completely with this. I do not spank my children. My oldest was the only one who I ever tried it with -it was not an effective means of discipline so I stopped and I never used it with any of her 3 younger siblings either. There are other very effective forms of discipline besides hitting. I will point out too and I don't know if it's related or not but my children are not "hitters" unlike many of the other children I see them hanging around with at school (and I don't know if those childrens parents spank them or not, so I don't know if it's a direct correlation but it's possible I think).
vinnie vinnie
I have to admit she looked angry when she was doing it, but I wasn't there. Nothing these people do is my business and I wished I wasn't subjected to their daily lives!! GO AWAY!!
bluebloom bluebloom
So many people are commenting on spanking in general. Let's talk about Kate Gosselin spanking. If you've watched the show, you've seen the footage of her and Jon during the interviews. She's a hitter. Maybe she calls them "love taps," but there have been plenty of times when Jon has said "Ow!" after receiving a "love tap." Whatever your views on spanking, someone who is prone to hitting as a form of communication ("affectionate" or not) should NOT be using spanking to discipline her children.
sidra5397 sidra5397
I agree with the posters who believe that there is a difference between child abuse and spanking. I was spanked as a child by my mom and now as a twenty year old, I have an amazing amount of love and respect for her. My mom never went over the line, but she ensured that I would remember the consequences for my actions. Like any form of punishment for children, there is a right way to go about spanking and a wrong way. I believe that holding off from spanking when you are angry, determining the right amount of force necessary, and always speaking to your child about their actions (whether you choose to spank on that ocassion or not) are key. I think that children need to know why they are being punished, and what they should do differently next time. Overall punishments (whatever your form of punishment) should be learning experiences.
jules1574 jules1574
There is absolutely nothing wrong with spanking your children. I got spanked and believe me I turned out perfectly fine.
kristyy kristyy
My parents never spanked us to injure us. It was a tap on the butt or hand, but the idea of getting spanked really scared us. (I hurt myself more walking into walls and such - I'm a klutz!) I had a very happy childhood and am a well-adjusted adult. There was absolutely no harm done to me from the spanking. Before we got spanked, we were sat down and explained why we were being punished. I think that's the key - to understand what you did wrong and be punished for it. The spanking stopped as we got older, but the fear and remorse of doing something wrong stuck with us. I will certainly spank my kids if they misbehave, but you need to do it within reasons where it's not physically abusive and the kid learns what s/he did wrong. Those that claim this is bad parenting aren't doing it right. I agree that not all parents are effective at this and could use a course in parenting in general. I've seen enough bratty kids where time-outs don't work. (I'd like to spank them myself!) A lot of kids nowadays could use a good spanking.
Rally RE Rally RE
the pictures on "in touch" magazine of kate spanking the little girl look bad ... probably worse than it actually was. i guess she doesn't care that people are constantly around her and snapping pics of everything she does. but, if the story that i read was true - she was mad because the little girl blew the whistle after being told not to do it again. seems kate could have just taken the whistle instead of whacking her. but, that's just my opinion.
She should not feel self-conscious about spanking her kids..in front of camera's or not. In fact i commend her for not caring if the camera's were watching because it means she's owning her methods of discipline. I think the non-spanking families experience more trouble as their children reach teen and adulthood. so many grown brats out there. you go Kate. Although....I wish you guys would stop pretending there's nothing wrong in your personal life when you're filming the show. i think that's why your ratings are going down. We want to experience the same thing you are, good and bad..
HTCmom HTCmom
I have two-year old triplets and although, I'm not a fan of spanking there have been times when it happens. Sometimes time-out doesn't work. I too saw the pictures of Leah & must say, she didn't look devistated, she was getting a spanking, all of my children act like you're cutting off a limb if you spank them. Kids are dramatic about everything, so of course disciplining causes a dramatic response, btw, time-outs can cause just as much drama. Not sure if I like Kate or not, but definitely feel she has a right to discipline as she sees fit. I'm not one to judge, I don't walk in her shoes.
lol my mom wouldve slapped me across the face had i done that at her age
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