Jon and Kate are Getting Back Together For Christmas

Should Divorced Couples Spend the Holidays Together?

November 11, 2009

Jon and Kate are both planning on being home for the holidays this year. Despite the quarreling twosome's very messy and public divorce, Jon says that they will all be celebrating Christmas together as a family. Every divorce and family is unique and what works well in some broods may not work for others; critics say that it may give the children a false sense of what is really going on. Weigh in on the topic and tell us — do you think it's a wise decision for divorced couples to spend the holidays together as a family for the sake of the children?

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14 Comments

3 years 8 weeks

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3 years 20 weeks

That's a toughy, there's really no straight answer to this question. Depending on why the couple divorced, and whether or not they can handle being around each other is important, and really if they whole family (meaning the kids want that too). Divorce seems to be so very prevalent these days, and so is the notion of family... I think overall if you can put your differences aside, just for a week more/ or less, showing the true meaning of the holidays to your family (and yourself), coming together just for that time of year- I certainly see that as a great idea.

clareberrys 3 years 27 weeks

I dont think one person can make that judgment about someone else's family. Each family and each couple is different and therefore it isnt right to say "Yes its okay" or "No its not okay" because it all depends on the family. I spend half of CHristmas with one parent and the other half with the other. For example well do presents and a big breakfast at my dads then come back and do Christmas dinner with my mom. On the other hand, I think its definitely possible for families to join during the holidays, especially during the holidays, because it can show the kids the meaning of the holiday season aka being kind to one another, loving one another, etc.

3 years 27 weeks

Initially I thought it was a silly idea for the parents to get together over the holiday but as I thought about it....families DO spend the holidays together don't they?! Even if they're (not yet) divorced, they are and forever will be linked by the children that they made together to add to their FAMILY. Think about it this way....if Kate & Jon were,let's say feuding cousins, they would still have to come together for the holidays when the rest of their family gets together right? It only makes sense. At least I know in my family all..if not most problems between family memebers are put aside for the holidays & important occasions. I just don't get what the big deal is. Yeah I understand that it's a "false sense of security" (from the outside looking in) but I'm pretty sure Kate wouldn't just go along with the whole thing without telling her kids "This doesn't mean Mommy and Daddy are getting back together". I don't think she'd let them be mislead without at least making an attempt to tell them otherwise. As crazy as this situtation is...she takes care of the kids when it comes to letting them know the deal and being honest about the given situation. AND I just remembered her saying (when they announced the split) "There's no way I'm not gonna spend the holidays with my kids!" & Jon is probably thinking the same. So what's the best solution? Instead of having to pick one parent of the other...the parents come together! DUH!!!!! stupid stupid head! lol (no offense to anyone)

GMarie 3 years 27 weeks

Maybe just because it's the first one and there's been so much VERY public upheaval for the kids. Nothing's been finalized yet, so it's all still in flux, and it might be comforting for the kids to see that their parents can be civil to one another as they all continue to adjust.

KrisB 3 years 27 weeks

I think its best to do what's right for your family. Develop new normals for your family, the kids will benefit from it down the road. Pretending never works with kids, they see through everything. My parents togeather always made me unforgettable around the holidays, even to this day.

3 years 27 weeks

Many couples have amicable splits and make this work, and many do not. It really depends on the family. Look at soem celebs who have happy splits and make things work like Demi and Bruce. All the power to those who can make this work, and I can't say I fault any of those who can't!

3 years 27 weeks

Totally depends on the parents, the kids' feelings on the situation, who else is there, etc, etc. Too many factors to make it an absolute in all cases.

kty 3 years 27 weeks

they could spend Holidays together if the divorce was amicable,and both parents are civil toward each other...

medenginer 3 years 27 weeks

My ex-husband have decent relationship but do I chose to spend the holidays with him no. I'll pass on a couple of tense hours followed by a delightful dinner from hell.

3 years 27 weeks

My parents had a very amicable split, their technically still married after being separated for 14 years lol. When I lived with my dad we would have my mom (before she met her boyfriend) over for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner. And we all go to my mom's and her boyfriends to do a family gift exchange every year. I think for some couples it can be achieved but for people like Kate and Jon who have been very public about their dislike for each other I don't think it's a very good idea.

justanerd1975 3 years 27 weeks

depends- on if the parents can be civil or not, and if the kids are all comfortable with it.

3 years 27 weeks

Tried it and it didn't work for me. It created jealousy from my ex because my son favored me and didn't want to even open daddy's gifts. That's not to say it won't work for others. I say to each his(or her) own.

Deidre 3 years 27 weeks

Not when the divorce isn't even final yet! I definitely think that would be really confusing for most kids. It could maybe happen a few years after the divorce has gone through, when all parties (the parents, kids, extended family) have had time to calm down from the emotional experience and get settled in a new family routine.

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