How Moms Feel About Circumcision

Did Mom Feel Bad While Baby Boy Was Being Circumcised?

August 5, 2010

The circumcision debate aside, how does a new mom feel when it's time for her sweet baby to get snipped? Parents decide to physically alter their son's anatomy for many reasons including cultural and religious traditions and health concerns. Though a mother may be confident in her choice to have her child circumcised, it doesn't mean she won't feel bad while he's undergoing the procedure at his bris or in the hospital. How did you respond?

Source: Thinkstock

34 Comments

LenaBD 1 year 3 weeks

I feel awful, it put me into ppd....I wasnt on board but my hubby pushed and like a twit I caved. I regret it every day. It wasnt my choice i hope that one day my sons will forgive me. I just feel like the worlds worst mother. Who lets there baby get there penis chopped off lets say it together. Isnt there something wrong with this picture? It bothered me that its even offered. If I have any future sons they will be left intact.I acctually argued that it was right thing to do with my cousin when she didnt want too. I am a idiot in so many ways. Im not perfect and hopefully my sons will not hate me.

2 years 38 weeks

it doesn't have to be done. My son is perfect and i didn't have a heathly piece of his genitals amputated. So i had nothing to feel bad about, and he had no pain other than a million heel sticks from jaundice.

2 years 38 weeks

Awful. A new born baby seems perfect in every way from head to toe. Sometimes a doctor has an opinion and suggests what he thinks is socially acceptable and that opinion often depends on whether or not insurance covers surgery on the perfect newborn.

2 years 38 weeks

I balled my eyes out when both of my boys were circumcised. I cried harder with every scream!

2 years 39 weeks

I was against circumcision when my oldest was born...at the age of three he had problems with his foreskin and ended up having to be circumcised then...it was horrible--he was THREE! He was terrified but it had to be done. When my youngest was born, it was done in the first 24 hours of his life. Say what you like, I wish I had allowed the doctor to circumcise my oldest.

2 years 40 weeks

I guess I also fall into the 'not bothered' category. Both of our boys had it done when they were less than a month old. It's just one of those things for our family, nothing to fret about. Better done when too young to remember it than having to get it done later.

2 years 40 weeks

The foreskin doesn't retract until sometime in/around puberty, so I would hope your teenage son would have a grasp on basic hygiene by then... No one educates themselves these days, and i just cant really grasp that concept.

2 years 40 weeks

Both of boys are and I dont feel bad about it now. I felt horrible when they wheeled my little boys away, but for me and my husband it was about cleaniness. Sure we can keep it clean even with cloth diapers. The real thing we thought of was how well will he clean it once he starts bathing himself. We did look at it from both sides, and that is what we decided. Call me whatever you want. I stand by my decision. All of you on here who are sayin we are crazy can just pin a rose on your nose because it doesnt make you a better parent then me.

MissSushi 2 years 40 weeks

My opinions on circ aside...lol... to anon 25 - everyone gets smegma, even women, its part of the sloughing of skin cells, etc. Your infections and hygiene issues were just that - your problem. If you don't retract the foreskin, as an adult, and clean under there, its going to build up and cause problems. Just like a woman not cleaning the inner folds will cause build ups and problems. Sorry, but if that were true, the rest of the worlds men would be touting infections all the time.

2 years 40 weeks

I think everyone is plain crazy. I was not circumcised as a baby and it made my life a living hell to say the least. My boys are both circumcised and I was finally done when I was 25 y/o. I had many infections and constant problems from not being circumcised. It is cleaner and it is better to be circumcised than put your child through hell as he grows up. Those who are not getting their boys circumcised as babies are just asking for trouble, and when their sons are older and start asking why not, it's gonna cost thousands of dollars to have it done later as to only a couple hundred at birth. There are so many arguments for and against circumcising, and well I think doing it is NOT BARBARIC, but especially cleaner rather than as some say that its unnecessary.

2 years 40 weeks

Is it really that easy to look at yourself in the mirror and say "I did the right thing by mutilating my son's penis"? Not only that, some of you don't feel bad about it and think it's "part of the process". The process of what?!?!? There isn't a doctor in America who would cut off a baby girl's clitoris. Why on earth do they think cutting off a baby boy's foreskin is "normal". It's sickening and that's not opinion. It's fact. None of you have one single good reason for doing this. Religion? Spare me. Aesthetics? Don't even. Peer pressure, because everyone else is doing it? Stop.

2 years 41 weeks

I have left both of my sons intact. Since we don't belong to a religion that mandates circumcision, it is cosmetic surgery. If either of my sons wishes to be circumcised when they are 18 or older, I'll pay for it myself. At that age, not only will they be able to make the decision, they'll receive better pain management and will be less likely to get too much skin cut off. And kids will make fun of you for anything. I'm not going to put a newborn through cosmetic surgery to forestall potential adolescent teasing.

2 years 41 weeks

that survey only goes to 2006. The levels of circumcision in the last 3 years alone have plummeted. I live in the midwest and only one of my friends, who moved to fl when she gave birth, chose to circumcise. I do agree that it's pointless to be hostile on a post like this. kids aren't forced to shower in schools any longer and it wont ever be such a big deal to be intact anymore anyway. it really would be stupid to make decisions like that, because rumors such as those can be started and spread without any sort of factual base. I knew a girl who was absolutely ostracized because of a rumor about her and a hotdog. maliscious and untrue, but it still made her life miserable. You can't protect your kids from everything, and I think its RIDICULOUS to alter their bodies without their consent because they may get made fun of.

chloe bella 2 years 41 weeks

Miss Sushi, I understand what your saying. It's interesting though, because everyone I know has had their son circumcised. You're right that the number of babies left intact has skyrocketed, but unless you live on the West Coast, circumcision is still very much the norm (around 80% in the Midwest vs. less than 40% in the West): http://www.cirp.org/library/statistics/USA/ Bella - Sorry, but I think that's a bad comparison. I was made fun of for being pale/freckled/too skinny my entire life and while that was annoying at times, I don't think it's at all comparable to having the whole high school talking about what your genitalia looks like. That's comparing apples to oranges. But obviously, at a certain point, you have to stick to what you believe in regardless of what everyone else thinks, so I respect your opinion. And who knows, if I have son, I might choose not to have him circumcised. The only reason I commented at all was to play the devil's advocate because I felt some people on here took it too far by calling women who circumcise their sons "stupid," "crazy," and "barbaric." I mean, I'm a vegetarian, but I don't go around attacking every person I see eating a chicken sandwich. I think the self-righteousness and hostility can be taken down a notch.

Bluette 2 years 41 weeks

I’m not a mom, but I feel bad for baby boys who are circumcised AND their moms. I think male infant circumcision is really sick and irrational, and I look at circumcised boys as victims – victims of well-meaning parents who didn’t know any better, who were totally ignorant of the foreskin’s anatomy and functions, and who just didn’t think long or hard enough about what they were doing to their son. Bizarrely, they were swayed, coaxed into swallowing the idea that cutting off a part of their son’s penis would be good for their son, that the circumcised penis is somehow superior to the intact natural penis, and that circumcision is somehow a better way to go than the whole, fully functioning, fully sensate organ that their son was born with. They thought the foreskin was a worthless piece of garbage, instead of the most excitable sensual interface found on the entire male body. I feel sorry for moms because, having circumcised their sons, they are locked into a relationship that is going to require them to acknowledge that what they did to their sons was medically unnecessary and served them, the boy’s mother, father and family, a whole lot more than it will ever serve their son. They are going to have to try to persuade their son, too, that he should be pleased and happy that he is circumcised. Shouldn’t their son have the right in life not only to keep his foreskin (which, after all, belongs to him) but to decide for himself whether he would like to be circumcised, to decide for himself whether circumcision is a cosmetic alteration whose results he truly desires and wants to live with? So my answer to this question is yes: amputating another human being’s body parts by force should make onlookers feel really horrible and uncomfortable.

FrankiLee 2 years 41 weeks

What MissSushi said. I apologize if I offended everyone, I am just very passionate about the subject. On the topic of being made fun of -- I'm VERY petite (at age 23, I'm not even five feet tall) and I was made fun of mercilessly for a long time. I know that height is not something that can be changed like circumcision, but I don't think I would base a big decision such as circumcision on whether my child would be made fun of or not. Once they're old enough, explain to them why their privates look the way they do, why you decided to not go through with the procedure, etc., and give them as much knowledge about it as possible. It would be awful for a boy to be made fun of about that, but if you're there to support him, and tell him that it's just kids being immature, hopefully he will understand. Circumcision can be performed at a later age, and if he ended up making the choice to do that, then so be it, it would be his choice. But until then, I still stand by my decision to not circumcise.

MissSushi 2 years 41 weeks

I personally wasn't talking about to do it or not to do it, but the lack of empathy when you do choose to do it because of what it entails. to chloe - The rates of circs are going down drastically, it isn't just done every time anymore, and more doctors are referring their patients to other doctors becuase they don't want to perform the procedure. The nurse who came to ask us if we wanted one done or not told us that there were 9 baby boys born within a few days of my son at our hosp and only one was circ'ed.

chloe bella 2 years 41 weeks

I don't have kids, but I find this debate incredibly interesting. There was one guy who was uncircumsised in my high school. How do I know? Because all the guys made fun of him mercilessly for it, so everyone in the entire school ended up knowing about it. If someone were to ask me if I would prefer to have undergone a few minutes of excruciating pain when I was a day old or to be endlessly made fun of in high school, I know what I would choose. I'm not usually one to go along with the status quo just for the sake of it, but maybe before people get on their moral high horse and judge other woman, they should consider whether their son is going to appreciate being made fun of because of it.

amandachalynn 2 years 41 weeks

Personally, I think it's sad that other mothers will rush in to judge and berate other women without knowing anything about their family life or religious beliefs. At the beginning of the post it says debate aside. Otherwise I wouldn't have posted anything at all. I don't judge any of you for many comments I read on lilsugar that bother me. Personally, I read a lot of things that I would never do as a parent and I don't think anyone should do. That is my opinion, and I am entitled to it, just as you are about this. The difference is I try not to get on my soapbox and berate others.

MissSushi 2 years 41 weeks

I try really hard to to push my own opinions on others or judge them, but it honestly makes me a little sick that so many of you didn't feel bad at all. I feel that you should have the decision to do it or not, but I can't imagine even being steadfast in my decision and not feeling bad about the process. Do you know exactly what it entails and how often it's still done without being numbed? God, seriously, it makes my stomach hurt just thinking about a lack of empathy with it. The quiet sleep they come back with is exactly what bella described, it's the state of shock they go into. I chose not to do it because its a totally uneccesary alteration and it was extremely relieving not to have to worry about it and any sort of aftercare. It being done and having an open wound to be peed and pooped on - because the glans is fused to the foreskin and it has to be ripped off to be removed. Kind of mind boggling how a small stab with a needle is worse then that..

snowysakurasky 2 years 41 weeks

many well-put comments on keeping the knife away from babies who have no say. my comment might not be as nice but i am trying to stick to logical facts. if you dont want to see the op, WHY are you doing it? are you crazy? do you want baby to look like dad? this is stupid cruel and babaric. and uncirc'd penises have a lot more sensitivity, why would you take that away from your son for your own aesthetic pleasure (not in a sexual way, but you dont want your son to have an úgly'' penis, right?) and a xenophobic outlook ..... this is even worse than people who give their kids crazy names because its totally irreversible .... but i thought you would at least be with your son while they literally cut off a piece of his genitals with a knife

FrankiLee 2 years 41 weeks

I was also going to add that we don't perform genital mutilation on newborn girls (some countries do, but it is unheard of in North America), so why is it expected that we do it to newborn boys?

FrankiLee 2 years 41 weeks

We don't have a son, but if or when we do, we will be leaving him intact. The reason most boys don't cry or don't seem to be bothered by it is because they're in a state of shock immediately afterward. Having a boy doesn't mean circumcision has to be a part of the process. Also, circumcised US has higher rates of HIV than other uncircumcised nations. So, the belief that an uncircumcised male can carry harmful diseases isn't necessarily truth. If you go to youtube and watch videos of newborn boys being circumcised, it's absolutely heart-wrenching. I am all for leaving newborns intact, unless there is a serious medical reason.

2 years 41 weeks

I have nothing to feel bad about. I didn't accept the idea that every boy needs surgery on his penis so I asked why I should do it to him. I'm still waiting for a convincing argument. Meanwhile, my son is 6 and hasn't had a problem down there or anywhere.

2 years 41 weeks

We didn't do it, and both feel great! If we had done it, we'd both have wanted to be there though, if only to make sure they used anesthetic. They're supposed to, but a lot of places don't. Some places say they will, but make sure you're out of earshot while they do it without.

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