Glee Star Jane Lynch Reads Her Daughters' Texts and Emails

September 20, 2010

Is reading a child's exchanges always snooping? Glee star Jane Lynch doesn't think so. The mother of two told Prevention's Spark! Blog:

My partner and I let the girls know that we absolutely reserve the right to review texts, e-mails, address books, and content at any given time. It's a good idea to discuss this with your child in advance so it is not seen as "snooping" otherwise you lose their trust. It's also a good idea and extra safety precaution to have access to all of your child's passwords and lock-codes

Do you agree?

Source: Getty

10 Comments

sourcherry 2 years 35 weeks

Ok, I admit that maybe I am seeing the world through rose colored glasses :P I guess it's because I never did anything really stupid/dangerous in my teenage years... When hormones kicked in, I was hot for the geek in class and grossed out by older guys going after girls my age! Also, my best friend was pretty levelheaded too, so I extrapolated that we were the norm. But now that I think about it, a good friend of mine, when she was around 15, used to sneak out the window at 2a.m. to meet with her boyfriend, who was a few years older than her. I would never have guessed (although I only met her a year or so after that). While her case makes me doubt my position, I remember that her parents were the snooping, "can't date until you're 18", "can't get home late" kind... I don't know if they checked her messages, but they did eavesdrop on her calls and did a bunch of other stuff... And even thought they didn't tell her, she was perfectly aware and she hid everything from them. Messages are very easily deleted :) So I can't bring myself to think that snooping, with a previous notice or not, is the answer... Even putting aside privacy or trust issues, it's pretty unreliable, so say the least... But, of course, it's a personal decision, and I can understand why parents do it!

2 years 35 weeks

I'm not trying to be rude or confrontational, just confirming that yes, sourcherry, you are being naive. :)

MissSushi 2 years 35 weeks

I was going to mention older men too. I was a really really good kid. Great grades, very obedient, didn't do anything wild or crazy, helped out at home, but once I hit the mid teens, and was told I coudln't date, I did anyway. I also dated several much older guys, as do so many young teens. Logic and critical thinking isn't exactly a strong point with teenagers. My mother should have been reading my emails and listening in on my calls, it would have pissed me off, but it would have nipped many potentially dangerous/stupid situations in the bud.

Girl Jen 2 years 35 weeks

To me, reading texts and emails is the same type of thing as asking, "Where are you going? Who are you going with? Have her mom call me. When will you be home? Who's driving? etc. etc. etc." It verifies that information.

runningesq 2 years 35 weeks

Jen, that's a really good idea - a way to give her privacy to express herself without the threat of harmful outside influences. sourcherry - I don't think you can always tell... there are often stories of teenagers (usually girls) with good grades, active in sports, clubs, etc., good group of friends --- who are seduced by older men. Teenagers' brains aren't fully developed and even the smart ones can make made decisions, even if they aren't the "in trouble" type.

sourcherry 2 years 35 weeks

I don't think I could ever do that! I remember what it's like to be a teenager, and I remember that I'd pretty offended if my mom did anything like that, even if she warned me first. I actually remember thinking how awful it would be to have some of my friends' moms because of this! Not that I had anything to hide, I just wanted to be trusted. Personally, I think if you spend enough time with your child you can tell if they're in trouble or behaving in ways they shouldn't... But that's just me, maybe I'm being naive!...

Girl Jen 2 years 35 weeks

Heck yes. I am going to tell my daughter that I will (not can, not may, WILL) be reading her texts and emails and I will know her passwords. However, I will also give her a journal with a lock (either paper and hardware, or a password-protected file) that I will not have access to. That way, she can have her private thoughts and a part of her life that I am not privy to, but I will still know what her and her friends are up to.

lickety split 2 years 35 weeks

If I was concerned with my child's welfare, I would read texts, a journal, what ever I could get access to. My 11 year old is very open with her communications. So far I haven't needed to, but I certainly would. I had a friend with a 12 year old daughter who was physically very mature looking. Lots of boys were interested in her. The rule at her house was that all emails, texts and chats were read by the mom: all of them. I saw her point.

MissSushi 2 years 35 weeks

Of course they need to be monitored, teenagers will do as much as they can get away with as a general rule. I totally agree that it needs to be a well known and done fact, becuase if it isn't, it IS snooping. Absolute freedom of privacy is a really horrible idea, and you will eventually run across a facebook full of nearly nude pics of your 14 yo. Almost none of my sisters friends have parents that monitor their facebooks or texts, and it's pretty bad.

2 years 35 weeks

I completely agree with her, and I think it applies as long as my child lives in my house. Not monitoring your child internet and cell phone use is flat out stupid. Certainly we don't read every single text or watch over their shoulder every minute they're on the internet, but we spot check. And absolutely, you let them know in advance. In our house, you don't get a cell phone or internet access unless we have that talk.

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