Is It Fair For a Woman to Get Pregnant on Purpose?

by 49

We've all heard stories about the wife who skipped pills or poked holes in her diaphragm to get pregnant. But, if a woman desperately wants a baby and her partner doesn't inquire about her methods of birth control or use any of his own — is it fair game for her to try and conceive? There's been a bit of buzz on the Internet as of late and we're curious about your opinion.

Source

SexPollPregnancyConception

49 Comments

Get this, I had a divorce about a year ago. The events that led up to the divorce was soley caused by one girl. She tried everything she could to get me to leave her. She finally conspired to go on a (girls night out) where they met some young men and she drove her their house. Later telling of my wife infidelities I was crushed. 6 months later divorced, she played the Im a good friend card for a while playing up to my insecurity. I finally seen the light, went back to my ex and she got so pissed that she said she would cause me to lose my job unless I slept with her. 3 months later and she is knocked up. This girl is a monster. i am telling you guys this to let you know that the people you think is closest to you just may be your enemy.
my son, at ripe old age of 15, became a sperm donor/cash machine for an older and incredibly manipulative girl at his high school. he did all that he could to be the 'man' and grow up fast as her mother kept insisting was "all he needed to do." He spent 8-10 hours every day for a year in her house with her family and loved his son. Once he ran out of his savings she dismissed him from her life, and refused to let him see their son. She and her mother have done everything possible to alienate them from each other. We paid an attorney to help him file in family court but we ran out of money for that and agreed to let her have sole custody but he got very liberal visitation. within a week of the court order she told him she couldn't keep to the schedule; that they should just stay in touch about visiting. 4.5 years later - it's still a mess and he's taking her back to court to insist on being a real dad. moms - don't let your sons grow up to be used and abused by these selfish girls.
If the woman says to him "I am not on birth control" and he goes ahead and takes his chances, that's fine. I told my husband I had gone off the pill and the ball was in his court. The ambush is not fair, though.
But is it really fair for a woman who is ready to have a baby to have to wait on a man who still wants to wait years to have one.?. there is really no compromise here, but i do agree that it is very decietful and wrong to do that to your other half or partner or whatever..
Any "female" (this is not a woman) who does this is not worthy of the title of mother. My situation; I broke two of my cardinal rules (I was in the Army. And I never wanted to get involved with "females" in the Army. Something about them just does not seem feminine...) and started dealing with a female who had a child. Well, after a few dates we started having sex. I always wore condoms in the beginning. After a couple of months, I relaxed and started TRUSTING her. She said she was taking her birth control. Well along the way, she let it slip out "did I take my birth control pill, or I forgot to take my birth control pill". At this point, it is too late to get upset. The milk has already been spilled, so to speak. Well, sure enough she is pregnant. The fool then states "THIS IS A BLESSING, I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO GET PREGNANT FOR TWO YEARS!" We had only been involved at this point for "FOUR MONTHS!" I had begged her to please take your birth control pills. I asked her to promise to take them. She replies with "okay baby". When she blurts out that she had been trying to get pregnant for two years, I am flabbergasted! I accept 100 percent responsibility for placing trust in this female. I accept 100 percent responsibility for breaking my own rules of dealing with females in the military and getting involved with "ready made" families. Nothing will ever ease the pain of my putting myself in this situation. I have been angry and in counseling for the last 15 years. I have been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. I have been taking anti-depressant medication for this same amount of time. My message is directed to all men. If you get involved with this type of woman, run do not walk in the opposite direction. To all "females"(adult, responsible women do not do this) who are willing to stoop to this level to be involved with a man, seek counselling. You are playing with a human child's life.
I believe that intent is the key. If the relationship is based on a future together and they have shared and spent time and investment in each other then any pregnancy is the responsiblity of both parties. If however the two people agree that they are casual and only in it for a short term fling... and they both agree they don't want children from the sex they are having..and when the man says he doesn't have a condom with him and the woman stays silent that she is not taking birth control then she should have the sole responsibility for the child. unless the man changes his mind and Chooses to be a part of both lives.
My EX was quite a few years older than me and told me (and anyone else who would listen) that she was infertile for the18 months we saw each other then deliberately got pregnant when I ended the relationship because we didn't get along. She was well aware that I NEVER wanted kids. EVER! My entire life was ruined by her selfish act, and I have to pay for a kid I will never want in my life and her lazy arse mother who refuses to work despite being perfectly capable as now I'm her only sourse of income and her financial plan! She has full support of the child support agency and they pursue and TORMENT me relentlessly, they investigate my finances AND my new partner's finances to see how much more $$ they can squeeze out of me to give to this LOSER! My life is hell because of what she did to me, absolute HELL. I can't get ahead because of what she's done, while I work 60-80 hr weeks to struggle to pay her bills, she gets heaps of government help and bonuses and I get jack shite. I'm unable to even own my own home! The kid is now 10 and I can't wait til it turns 18 and I can forget about it and her F O R E V E R. This was the worst thing anyone has ever done to me in my life and I will NEVER forgive her.
I do not believe it is fair for a woman to get pregnant on purpose without her boyfriend or husband's consent. If he doesn't inquire about birth control and uses none of his own, then yes, he is being irresponsible. But that doesn't mean that it is fair to bring a child who may or may not be wanted by one of his parents into the world. I also think the age of the parents plays a big role. Have any of you read that new book Not My Daughter by Barbara Delinsky? It's about 3 teenage girls who form a pregnancy pact and get pregnant on purpose without telling the boys they sleep with what they are doing. This outcome can be devastating, especially for younger people. Women need to realize the ramifications of what they are doing.
first of all human beings are not animals and sex was only intended for marriage! marriage is supposed to be a lifetime relationship that has its bads with the goods! children are only supposed to be made during marriage! I don't think anyone unless you are drugged, raped, a child, or have a gun pointed toward your head can be made to do anything you don't want to and that includes getting someone or getting yourself pregnant on purpose! I mean as many problems like std's and hpv and your worried about someone not telling you about a pill which doesn't really work 100%! if you play you pay and if you can't be mature enough to protect yourself and have to act like someone that needs their hand held like a kid then you shouldn't be probably having sex with anyone! the blame game is getting old when are people going to realize that you answer for what you do wrong not what the other person does! judge yourself before judging someone else!the child will not have to answer for his or her parents sins the parents will!
I think it's Fair Game! First off, Sperm banks cost a lot of money. And you call women selfish who do that, what about men who string women along for years but continually say they are not ready for kids. That's not selfish?? I'm sorry but women have biological clocks. If men don't want kids than they should just masterbate and not F*** any females. They have some responsibity to choose not to have sex with women they don't trust. They need to think with their heads-- -and not the one down below, if they are unable to do this, than they risk the consequence of having a child plain and simple.
It's outright wrong! Only stupid, desperate whoes do stuff like that. If a woman want to have a child regardless (does not care about, love, participation of father, etc) then freaggin go to a sperm bank!! ONLY THE CHILD WILL SUFFER AND YOU WILL END RAISING HIM/HER ALONE! STUPID BITCH!!!
To feel that it is fine to get pregnant by tricking someone does not make sense, it is wrong, and the child will pay, forget the relatively small suffering this causes the grown adults to go through. Children will always reflect both parents and each parent will have to deal w/this 24/7 the rest of their lives, and the children will be injured for their lifetime. Women or men who do this are causing someone to live a miserable life, the child, would you want to be made by deceit? Are you kidding me?? To purposely bring a child into an unstable situation where there isn't two loving parents is wrong. I'm not saying that things don't happen that leave people as single parents, but to do it on purpose is cruel to the child.
Well this boils down to some very basics of life, now doesn't it. It is easier to answer than most may think. To start, all decisions are subject to the weight of the associated consequence. Right and wrong doesn't matter as much as your conscience. Right versus wrong and fairness in life are unfortunately not realistic. Wartime and everyday atrocities make deceitful pregnancy seem like a mild offense in the animal kingdom. To be human is to treat others as you wish to be treated by them. Is it OK if you are drugged by a stranger and impregnated? It is for the stranger. So ultimately it really depends on how evolved you are, whether you can accept the bizarre consequences that may ultimately arise, and your beliefs. Many types of animals have been manipulating the opposite sex for millions of years in the name of reproducing its species. But he may just find out what really happened.... and he may have a few primal tricks of his own to offer.
My ex-partner got pregnant on purpose 4yrs ago. Leaving opinion and judgement to one side, let me describe the consequences: complete and utter heartache for all concerned. We are no longer together, my ex is happy to be a mum but very lonely, I am a father who is desperately keen to be a big, positive influence on my son's life, but unable to fully participate as a result of a failed relationship. As several have mentioned above, ultimately, it is extremely unfair for a child to be born into a context already compromised. The confused look of sadness on his face when it's time for me to leave every other weekend is agony. Of course I wish things were different. Trust, compassion and love is a much better formula for parenthood.
Look at all of the women saying it is okay.
vmruby vmruby
Absolutely not......No one has the right to do that to another human being and I'd be pissed to the gills if someone tried to pull that BS on me.IMO it's irresponsible and personally I'm horrified that anyone would think it's alright to bring an innocent child into the middle of something so unbelievably deceitful.
I think Kia's comemnts are a disgrace and if a man was making these comments they would be regarded as immoral. Women have ensured equality in society apart from the one issue which is not in their interest to do so - discrimination would be the name if the roles were reversed!
kikidawn kikidawn
Ok I just want to be clear on where I stand: deceit between couples (married or not is totally wrong). My fiancé and I just switched to NFP. Since it's new to us and I desperately want a child I very explicitly told him that if we wind up pregnant it will not be because I deceived him. But I took this question in the context of the linked article--> one night stands. It is the responsibility of both parties to make sure they are protected if they don't want a baby. The guy should not jet assume the girl is on BC. If he does assume and she's not on it and then winds up with a child then he should own up to being irresponsible. I didnt take this question to be about tricking a bf or husband to stay ... (haven't we already talked about that on here before?)
kikidawn kikidawn
Ok I just want to be clear on where I stand: deceit between couples (married or not is totally wrong). My fiancé and I just switched to NFP. Since it's new to us and I desperately want a child I very explicitly told him that if we wind up pregnant it will not be because I deceived him. But I took this question in the context of the linked article--> one night stands. It is the responsibility of both parties to make sure they are protected if they don't want a baby. The guy should not jet assume the girl is on BC. If he does assume and she's not on it and then winds up with a child then he should own up to being irresponsible.I didnt take this question to be about tricking a bf or husband to stay ... (haven't we already talked about that on here before?)
ELLEHUDSON ELLEHUDSON
oh my gosh! i can't believe any woman would think this is okay.. that is the sign of a very insecure & controlling person! No.. it is NEVER okay to purposefully try to bring a child into the world without the consent of the man involved.. you're just asking for trouble! asking to raise a child with no father. if you are willing to do that to the man you are with, then there is a MAJOR lack of trust between the two of you & you will never have a good relationship.
ELLEHUDSON ELLEHUDSON
oh my gosh! i can't believe any woman would think this is okay.. that is the sign of a very insecure & controlling person!No.. it is NEVER okay to purposefully try to bring a child into the world without the consent of the man involved.. you're just asking for trouble! asking to raise a child with no father. if you are willing to do that to the man you are with, then there is a MAJOR lack of trust between the two of you & you will never have a good relationship.
Don't we have enough children born to parents that don't want them? Seriously, if you want a baby please discuss it with your partner and be sure that he is ready and open to being a parent. It is huge step in life and it is not to be taken lightly. Unreal how some think it is okay to just get pregnant without a plan or support fromt he other parent.
anniems anniems
I can not believe how many people think it's ok to deceive their husband/partner. If a person is this selfish they are obviously not ready for a child.
cdelaney cdelaney
It is just wrong. Deceit and selfishness between a couple isn't exactly a step in the right direction, especially with bringing a life into the world. Besides, how will the child be affected? I know a few people who have gotten pregnant on purpose to get their guy to grow up or to commit--but to me it seems that they are desperate to "trap" their men, thinking that a baby will save their relationship. But sometimes, a boy is just a boy--doesn't matter if he's a dad or not--some boys simply do not and will not grow up.
SusanTeufel SusanTeufel
I think it's very wrong.
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