Elimination Communication: Kid Friendly or Are You Kidding?

by 31

Mothers brag about getting their tots out of diapers, but some women choose never to use nappies. Many parents who practice elimination communication (EC) with their babies don't invest in cloth or disposable diapers. Instead, they tune in to their infant's signals for eliminating waste and dispose of it in other ways. While this has been a common practice in less industrialized countries, it also has caught on in more developed nations like the United States. What's your opinion?

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DiapersInfant Potty TrainingElimination Communication

31 Comments

EC is pretty easy actually. You can do it as little or as much as you want and it isn't difficult. I did part time EC with my son with no effort at all. We still used diapers and he did wet them but he also could use the potty. He usually let me know when he was wet so he never stayed in a wet diaper very long and learned to accept sitting in his urine or poop. From birth if you took his diaper off he would pee. Most babies will pee when you take there diaper off as most new parents learn really fast. Instead of discouraging it I allowed my son a chance to not go in his diaper. All I did was offer him the potty when his diaper was dry at diaper checks or after naps. It didn't add extra time to the baby tasks of the day. You can do it on a very part time basis you don't have to do it full time. Babies have a natural instinct to not want to soil themselves so there isn't much effort involved in EC. They can quickly learn to hold their bladders. I wasn't spending lots of time on it and when potty training time came it was so easy since he could hold his bladder and knew how to use the potty. It isn't training the parents it is listening to a babies cues just like you do when you feed them when they are hungry or put them to sleep when they are tired. The goal isn't training them it is allowing them the chance to not have to sit in dirty diapers. You don't spend all your time pottying with a baby peeing on you. You don't hover over them watching for possible signs and waste your day. You can use diapers as back up as long as you want. Some people are able to switch to underwear at an early age and others don't. Parents learn to understand there babies signals to eat and sleep and they can learn the signals that a baby has to eliminate. Babies have an natural instinct to not wet themselves so EC is going along with that. It is not forcing them to do something or training them for something they aren't ready for.
If the sceptics want to learn more about this practice then read: Diaper Free The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene: by INGRID BAUER Diaper Free Baby by CHRISTINE GROSS LOH Infant Potty Training: A Gentle and Primevel Method Adapted to Modern Living LAURIE BOUCKE But then maybe it's easier to remain uninformed and disconnected from your baby. You have the choice.
I EC'd my first and she was totally out of diapers by 9 months, she's now barley 2 years, and I have a three month old that we EC and she only wears a dipe at night or if I'm out and know I won't be around a potty. It can seem like a strange concept but that doesn't mean it's impractical or impossible.
Elimination Communication can be done by all parents-because it can be done part-time. There are entire websites devoted to doing this practice part time. Even just putting baby on the potty after waking up from naps once a day or after a feeding will introduce the child to the potty so they are more familiar with the concept. Saving just one diaper a day from the landfills or washing machines adds up when thousands of people are doing it! Plus it is surprisingly super fun and a great way to connect with your child. I thought it was a crazy concept at first, but then I tried it one morning due to terrible diaper rash problems and was completely surprised when my baby went in the potty so easily and naturally at 5 weeks old! No more diaper rash after that! I practiced it with my son despite having a 4 year old in the house. My husband who works full time pottied the baby too when he was home. Much easier to flush a toilet than too get poopies out of crevices!!
We did part time EC and it's been great!
I did EC with my LO's and it is something you may have to try to really get since our culture is so reliant on diapers and it's such a foreign concept. Babies are completely capable of signalling that they need to go and learning to use the toilet and potty and it has absolutely nothing to do with not letting babies be babies, and it is not about training the parents in a negative way, nor are only stay at home parents able to do it. Both of my LO's were EC'd and although I won't say it's always easy, it makes complete sense. Babies tell us when they are hungry and can also tell us when they need to pee or poo - these are basic human needs and it is not natural to let them pee and poo on themselves all day long. Chemicals in disposable diapers and chemicals in detergents that we use on cloth diapers are really any better for babies than letting them eliminate somewhere other than themselves? Babies are constantly getting rashes from diapers, too! Letting them go somewhere other than their diaper cuts down on pollution. And they often LOVE it! Mom or Dad is COMMUNICATING with them instead of ignoring something they are doing and they are learning that they don't have to pee or poo on themselves. Really for those who think it is bad what is there that is so bad about it? It's a gentle way to communicate with your baby that has tons of benefits. Diaper back-up is not wrong either. Most folks in our culture who EC use diaper back-up.
I have 4 kids and have practiced EC with 3 of them... I did it with diaper backup for 2 of those but with my youngest who is 7 months has been diaper free (day and night) for a few months now because it was just the most natural thing to do... There is no hovering over or not letting babies be babies, it is natural and such a clean process... Diapering is so much more work and so much more of a mess... EC is just another way to communicate with my children. When she is hungry, I feed her. When she is tired, I help her sleep. When needs comfort, I cuddle her. When she needs to eliminate, I provide a place to do so.
"Having to hover over your child all day" is totally missing the point. It's about COMMUNICATION ; they let you know when they need to go, all it takes is to become receptive to their signals and what could be healthier emotionally and physically than that?! Also it doesn't have to be an all or nothing thing. I practice EC with my son (9months, EC'd from 6months) during the day but i put him in nappies at night so both of us are less disturbed by pottying. He is a very happy child who treasures the time he spends on the potty reading books, being sung to, playing with toys etc and we are both grateful to avoid many of the struggles to change nappies when he'd rather be playing, crawling etc As for gross, how weird is it that we live in a society where no-one bats an eyelid at peoples dogs defecating in public and most would be comfortable with poop scooping after their canine friends, but with a baby it's "gross" and shocking! Believe me, baby poo is far less offensive, and no EC'er would leave it there for you to step in. It's about time we all woke up from the 'gross' conditioning that's led us to believing such unnatural parenting methods are the only good and proper way. Who really benefits in the end? Not the earth, not the child, not always the parent, so who? Proctor and Gamble for one.
ANY MOTHER CAN DO THIS!! Do not pass judgement on this until you have looked into it, I didn't believe this or practice this with my first few kids-biggest mistake I ever made in raising them!! The only reason we think this is amazing/crazy is because of the diaper industry. ECing is what women have done since the beginning of time and still do in many, many countries-yes even developed countries. Your baby can tell you when it is hungry and any mother knows this "cue". Your baby tells you when it is tired, or frustrated or hurt-it is so obvious. So are the ways that babies tell you they have to go to the bathroom, it is just another feeling they are experiencing. AND it is easy, I have 6 kids all 10 and under and I still find time to do it, not full time, but maybe we go through one to two diapers a day-and NEVER any poopy ones. In other countries, it is considered cruel and neglectful to let your baby soil themselves when they have the ability to tell you they need to go! It does seem sort of backwards when you think about how we do it: let your child soil themselves and unlearn the feelings of elimination and then years later make them relearn it. HMMMMMMM
It's possible to do part-time EC. There is no "rule" that EC babies are diaper-free 100% of the time. My 1y.o. DD is usually in cloth diapers, and we look for cues, or just use timing to take her to the potty. These days we rely more on timing. If we don't catch a pee, then at least there's a diaper that caught it. If a potty/washroom is not easily accessible, we use disposable diaper. For those who think that EC is just about training the parents, I disagree. Yes, EC is about training the parents, but it is "training" the child as well. It's all about letting the child listen to themselves and understand that it's not "normal" to eliminate and sit on his/her waste. It's all about self-awareness... awareness of a most basic bodily function. My DD rarely poos on her diaper, as she usually signals AND waits to be taken to the potty. Older children who didn't EC are "not ready" to be toilet-trained because they've actually been "trained" to wet/poo on themselves.
Thank you Heather D. Totally agree with what you said. For those that think it's "gross", well so is letting your child spoil their diaper and changing it when it's convenient for you.
Those that make comments like "hovering over the baby all day" and "let babies be babies" are making common assumptions that are actually misconceptions about EC. I'll confess that when I first heard about EC, I thought the same thing. I thought it was way too "out-there" and silly and ridiculous. When my 2nd child was born, though, I re-thought things, did a LOT of reading on the subject (which I suggest anyone do before they make any more negative comments about it, you can't really have an informed opinion about something if you really have no idea what it entails), and decided it was worth a try. Worst case scenario, it doesn't work and we use diapers like everyone else, no big deal. So we tried it, and to our amazement, it was... amazing! By the time she was a year old she was actively communicating (not just me reading signals), by 18mo she was going by herself most of the time. Potty training was simply a process of her gradually taking over more control of it on her own as she was ready. EC does NOT mean hovering over your baby all day. Not any more than we should be doing already anyway!!! Just like you learn to know when they're hungry, tired, hot, etc, you learn to know when they have to pee. Same thing for the "parent training" argument -- it's no more "parent training" than is feeding when they're hungry! We are indeed assisting them to eliminate over a potty or whatever while they're too young to tell us in words and physically undress themselves. But we're also assisting them to eat when they can't yet tell us in words that they're hungry or grab themselves a sandwich. Once you wrap your brain around the idea of EC, it really is NO DIFFERENT than all the other things we do for our babies while they're still too young to do them by themselves, none of which are considered "parent training". The "let babies be babies" argument presupposes that the natural order of things is that babies are developmentally designed to pee and poo into their clothes (diapers are just absorbent clothing) and then gradually learn to pee and poo elsewhere. Biology says otherwise, though. Babies are developmentally designed to pee in the AIR -- which is why we all get peed on at every diaper change, until they learn that (against their instincts) they are actually 'supposed' to pee in their diapers and become diaper-trained. Potty-training is actually diaper un-training, in other words. Anyway, I could go on and on and on about why EC makes sense and about the misconceptions that abound. But I'll just end by reiterating that it does NOT have to be "all or nothing". Working parents can do it, busy parents can do it. You can totally wear diapers all day, let them use the diaper most of the time -- but once in awhile, give them a potty-tunity. Especially if your baby has a "poo face", or right when they wake up from a nap, or at a diaper change. If you catch just ONE pee a day, you'll save 300 diapers in a year! That's a lot of cash as well as landfill or washing saved. PLUS you're giving your baby the "training" that pee and poo does not have to only go in their clothes; they never completely lose their inborn instinct to pee in the open air and so potty training is much easier when the time comes.
The thing about EC is that it's not an all-or-nothing deal. Even if you only do it for a couple of hours a day, it's better than nothing. I used diapers most of the day, in case I miss a pee, but my 4 month old probably gets half her pees and ALL her poops in a bowl. She hasn't pooped in her diaper for about a month, and only once a week before then starting at 6 weeks. She LOVES ECing. Her potty bowl is her happy place. Most babies don't pee during naps, so if you even put your baby on the potty immediately after waking up, that's awesome! When we diaper our babies full time, they lose their sensations of going potty and literally have to relearn it at two or three. I think I'd rather have accidents from breastmilk pee-poop for a few months when they are immobile than solid food poop/pee with a walking or running toddler. :)
I EC my 6th baby currently. Yes, I said sixth. And they are all still young - my eldest is 11. Yes, I am busy - we even homeschool. It was HUGELY successful and rewarding with my fifth baby. I'd always wanted to do it with my previous kids, but didn't fully grasp how. I made half-hearted efforts, but didn't really get it and didn't really stick with it. It is something new to learn. HOWEVER, if you can figure out when your child needs to eat, you can certainly figure out when your child needs to pee/poo. The book that made it all work for me is, Natural Infant Hygiene by Ingrid Bauer. I haven't been as successful with this baby boy because I fail to respond when he signals - I often think what I am doing in the moment is too important to interrupt and respond to him. Then he gets frustrated and just goes anyway. This is what everybody else does. I've discovered all children signal from birth because they don't want to eliminate in their clothes, but after not being responded to for a few months, they stop signaling and get used to peeing/pooping in their diapers. YES, it IS work - just like all of parenting. NO, it is NOT for everybody - as most parents of today's society aren't willing to drop what they are doing and respond to their child at exactly when the baby needs it. When a parent is willing to do this for the child, I can guarantee it is VERY rewarding - I have a much better communication relationship with that child, she took herself to the toilet as soon as she could walk, she never had diaper rash, she was dry through the night as early as 3 months. My older children, with which I did NOT EC, still have bedwetting issues - even up to my oldest (age 11).
We practiced EC with our second child and it was nothing short of miraculous. I "caught" for the first time at three weeks old (poop and pee into the potty instead of a diaper) and she looked at me with a HUGE smile. She cued potty needs consistently after that and never again pooped in a diaper. It was wonderful for all of us. Her needs were met, her body was clean, and we were all more at ease for EC.
Sarana Sarana
I like the idea, I live in China and most babies are dealt with in this way and they are potty trained very early. I do think it would be very hard to do if you are not a stay at home mom and if you live in the Western world.
aembry396 aembry396
As a soon to be mom, I have been reading about breastfeeding and thinking, "Man...this seems more complicated than I thought." I couldn't imagine trying to do this and EC.
MissSushi MissSushi
lol, I dont remember saying that it was. My comment was referring to the comments that several of the commenters made, that it would be easier for the stay at home moms, which I dont agree with, time wise. You might want to skip the assumptions next time. I definitley acknowledge and agree with the point on being able to stay home past maternity leave is in their favor, though.
I wouldn't try this, sorry. I know that my nanny would have no part, either. And, MissSushi, not everything is about the "fight" between stay at home and working mothers.
imariec imariec
MissSushi... I don't think anyone is trying to imply that stay at home moms are not as busy as working moms. the way i see it, is that stay at home moms can stay with the kids and continue the training process long after working moms finish their maternity leave.
imariec imariec
I would love to try it for the sake of saving money and making baby more comfortable... but I think I'd be too grossed out by poop and pee everywhere if I didn't get to the toilet in time to put the kid over it.
MissSushi MissSushi
Sorry, but most stay at home moms dont have the kind of time to hover over their children every second anyway, so its kind of silly to say its only for them. There are meals to be made, chores to be done, errands to be run, its not any less busy unless you sit on your bum alll day and let things pile up around you.
LilaBo LilaBo
my daughter was out of diapers at 2 and there was no "EC" or anything crazy like that. babies are babies-- let them be babies. potty train when they can understand and communicate!
kindo1313 kindo1313
It's gross? More gross than having a baby pee/poop on themselves in a diaper? I don't really practice EC, but I know a lot of people who do. The focus is really on the communication part--getting your baby out of diapers early is just a bonus. Also, you can definitely do it on a very part-time basis. It's one of those things that you can model to whatever your situation is. I have a 2 year old and a 10 month old and try to practice EC principles on a part-time basis with my younger one (the older is out of diapers already), so it is possible!
miamixo miamixo
That is so gross!
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