Does It Offend You When Strangers Offer Help?

February 8, 2010

Life is full of surprises when you have kids. One tot might throw a tantrum in Target and another may meltdown mid-meal at a restaurant or dart out into traffic when you are walking down the street. It happens, and moms deal, but how they resolve the circumstance makes a difference. Motherhood is a sorority of sorts, and many women with children offer to lend a hand when they see one of their sisters struggling in a situation that is all too familiar. How do you respond if or when other people ask if you'd like assistance?

6 Comments

phatE 3 years 14 weeks

I don't think this post was referring to when kids are in danger, but more when a child is freaking out and someone steps in to help in the situation. I completely agree with someone bribing or giving your child food, or undermining authority. but opposing someone who is just trying to help, whether they are in ya'lls "sorority" or not is just rude. many times i will step in if the child is incredibly disruptive, like in a line somewhere or on a plane. i will just make silly faces if it looks over at me, or ask the caregiver if i can do anything for them.

cheekyredhead 3 years 14 weeks

Miss...and the kicker is that lady with the kid eating trash would blame the Dr's office for having a trash can or something even more bizarre. The only time I have ever commented to a fellow parent and had it blow up in my face was to a fellow Mom waiting outside to pick up her kid. I noticed her 9 month old had a very noticable crossed eye. My daughter had been the same. The pediatric eye Dr said that my daughter would have lost at least 50% of her vision had I not brought her in when I did at 6 mos for a check-up. I mentioned this to this lady and she freaked---apparently she'd rather risk the kid losing eyesight than consider the possibility she needed to get him help. I was not giving advice or even offering it. I didn't even mention that I noticed her son had an issue. I tried to inform while making small talk. Obviously I failed miserably. I probably should have just offered candy.

MissSushi 3 years 14 weeks

I SO agree with the candy comment!! It drives me absolutely insane when people do that. It may be well meaning and they could be the nicest person in the world, but i don't do things, especially with sweets, to pacify my child. I'd rather take her out of the situation until she calms down.. not distract her with a lollypop. I have only ever offered a comment once in my entire life, and it was a situation of true danger. We were at the store a few months back and this lady had her cart parked behind her SUV. She had the back open, and a store employee was loading a huge tv into it. The lady was standing beside the open passenger door screwing with her cell phone not paying ANY attention to her 1, maybe 1 1/2 year old daughter. The little girl was wearing a sleeper and was repeatedly attempting to stand up in the seat of the cart. She kept falling back into it, or nearly out of it. It was really quite scary.. It's a very long drop on your head for a little kid. I told her she was standing up in the cart, and she sneered at me before going back to her cell phone. Didn't make a move to stop the kid, and as we drove away, the kid fell back into her seat so violently it caused it to start rolling down.. Jeez. People drive me nuts. and to make this an even longer post, on Friday when I was at the Dr's office, there was a lady there with an infant and a 2 year old or so son. She was also on her cell phone texting and not paying attention to the kid at all. It's a REALLY small room, maybe 6 chairs, she must have been totally oblivious not to notice.. well my daughter and I were playing with the toys i brought while he wandered around and he goes to the garbage bag and starts peeling something off of it. Really loud trash bag crinkling, knocking of the trash can into the wall, and she still doesnt look up. Well, he manages to pry his treasure off the trash can, pops it in his mouth, and happily goes about his business. I figured it was a piece of chewed gum, but then he walked around clinking it on his teeth... well a while later, probably 10 minutes, hes sitting there clinking it in the CHAIR next to her and she still doesn't look up from her cell phone texting. So, lol, I'm interested at this point, NOT going to say anything becuase she had been rude to the staff, from the beggining, and i have the common sense to pay attention to my kids.., she looks up and notices hes eating something. She has him spit it out and starts yelling, OMG ITS A COUGH DROP WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?!!? DONT EAT THINGS OFF THE FLOOR. lol.. so not only did he eat something out of the trash, but a cough drop! Who knows what sickness the original owner had to need the cough drop.. haha.. jeez watch your kids!

bluepuppybites 3 years 14 weeks

the only time i dont want help is when they are in my daughters face bribing her with candy

HoneyBrown1976 3 years 14 weeks

I agree with anonymous.

3 years 14 weeks

It depends on the situation. If I'm obviously struggling, great. If my child's throwing a tantrum and I obviously have it under control, yeah it bugs me when someone comes up and butts in. Not to mention undermines my authority in front my kids.

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