Does Motherhood Mean Sucking It Up?

February 19, 2008

Like it or not, motherhood and making sacrifices go hand in hand. But, for new step mom, Kitty Walker (Calista Flockhart) on Brothers & Sisters caring for ailing kids and not feeling so hot herself was all too much. When she called her mom, Nora (Sally Field) for some pity, she instead was given sound advice.

Do you agree with Nora's words of wisdom?

15 Comments

faerymagick15 5 years 13 weeks

there is a balance to "sucking it up" and complaining. I think whining to a good friend is better than whining to your mother in this kind of situation. But, yeah you do have to suck it up once in awhile. I went through a terrible time when my son was extremely ill and ultimately diagnosed with a seizure disorder, autism, and mental handicap. I had another child to take care of on top of that. I remember crying myself to sleep and asking God, "why me" all the time. And going through a nasty divorce and dealing with a less than wonderful ex husband made it all even worse. But, my kids needed me...ALL of me. I didn't need to whine or complain about it even if I was sick or just tired of dealing. Luckily I had one or two good friends I could commiserate with once in awhile that would just listen. Once I actually heard myself and realized how selfish I sounded I made the decision to just deal. Whatever way I could.

Dana18 5 years 13 weeks

well sometimes you have no chose but to suck it up. But you do have a right to complain as long it is not in front of your kids. This is a very hard job and the rewards come much later. If you can't go to your mother to talk to, then who can you go to. If you are not allowed to vent sometimes you will not be able to deal with life's stresses.

milosmommy 5 years 13 weeks

I do feel that you need to "suck it up" at times. It's the job you signed up for and it's well worth it. But I think you should be allowed to vent your frustrations and whine a little bit from time to time. That's what your friends are for. I have found too that my mom doesn't always have the same amount of sympathy for me like say my best-friend. My best-friend has been there in way more recent years. My mom however still has my troublesome teenage years closer in her mind and is probably silently laughing and my struggles sometimes. I can't say I totally blame her either.

blackjade 5 years 13 weeks

Of course there will be sacrifices but that doesn't mean that you'll feel any less disappointed, tired, worn to the bone, or unappreciated from time to time. And to say that when you do feel like that you need to suck it up is inconsiderate. I think most women suck it up most times and if from time to time you have to blow off some steam, vent to a friend, your mom, whoever - I think you should be able to without someone saying "you knew being a mom would be tough - quit complaining." That's just mean.

JennyJen 5 years 13 weeks

I don't think that anyone wants to be a stepford wife and walk around like evrything is great when it might not be - and if there is a major problem then you have every right to ask for help or show that you are having problems. I was talking about more of the day to day stuff where I hear people complaining about one night of the baby being up or that they didn't get to go to the gym because the babysitter backed out. I am talking about the sacrifices that you know you will have to make going into the world of parenting.

Stravs Firebird 5 years 13 weeks

"Suck it up" isn't a very compassionate or healthy way to approach motherhood. But it is a really fast way to resentment. Hey, we all have to make compromises in every part of life. It doesn't mean that you have to go through life (or motherhood) gritting your teeth and pretending "everything's fine, don't worry about little me," all passive aggressive and stuff. Motherhood, like every relationship, requires time, energy, love and dedication. There's good and bad- you just have to find someone to talk about it with (not the kids! and apparently not Sally Field).

Stravs Firebird 5 years 13 weeks

"Suck it up" isn't a very compassionate or healthy way to approach motherhood. But it is a really fast way to resentment. Hey, we all have to make compromises in every part of life. It doesn't mean that you have to go through life (or motherhood) gritting your teeth and pretending "everything's fine, don't worry about little me," all passive aggressive and stuff.Motherhood, like every relationship, requires time, energy, love and dedication. There's good and bad- you just have to find someone to talk about it with (not the kids! and apparently not Sally Field).

Brendelwoman 5 years 13 weeks

Yeah, I think we have to trudge through our illnesses without a lot of help while dad can more easily take a nap. This year I got sick with vomiting and diarrhea at the same time as my husband. I was pregnant and had two kids at home so I called my home to help me. Normally I would not do that but I really felt incapable. She was also sick but she did come over. The only one to get any rest that day was my husband!

lickety split 5 years 13 weeks

when i was pregnant with my first baby my obg made a comment about how all pregnant women were always talking about how tired they were and then after the baby he laughed because they all admitted they didn't know what tired was before having a baby. i decided right there that i was NEVER going to say i was tired, no matter what! and you know, the only place i have ever talked about being tired or sick or anything else is here, lol. i had 3 kids in 3 years and when my obg would ask how we were doing i always said "great! how are you?" i'm not sure that it's so great though to teach your kids that everyone else comes before you. and if i were the grandma in the clip i like to think i'd go over and help out so my daughter could get some rest.

lickety split 5 years 13 weeks

JennyJen 5 years 13 weeks

I hate to hear people whining about how tough it is to be a mom. I am not saying it is not tough because it is, but all I have to do is look around at all of the people who are trying and can't get preganant or who are trying to adopt and you should realize how blessed you are. I thank God everyday for giving me what I have.

wickedcupofjoe 5 years 13 weeks

Yes - you have to suck it up, but it's good to have some close mommy friends who you can whine away to. :)

LiLRuck44 5 years 13 weeks

Yea, unfortunately you have to suck it up. What good does complaining do?

coachluvr33 5 years 13 weeks

Yeah, you definitely need to suck it up. It is worth it. I hate it when I see women having 3 or 4 kids and then always whining about how tired they are and trying to pawn their kids off on someone to watch. We all know how babies are made, ladies, so if you don't want them, do something about it.

gab6784 5 years 13 weeks

Yeah you definitely need to suck it up... but I think its worth it :)

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