Does Birth Make It Easier to Cope With Death?

Circle of Life: Does Birth Make It Easier to Cope With Death?

May 25, 2010

It's a simple truth — everybody is born and everyone dies. But does the birth of a baby help ease the pain of losing a loved one? My son was born the morning my great aunt passed away. I have a friend who lost his father just weeks before his wife birthed their daughter. The child helped him cope with the loss, see the future, and move forward with his memories. Does new life help ease the pain for grieving people?

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12 Comments

mrodphoto 3 years

I lost my brother the night I went into labor. It was devastating. But having my baby kept me strong. It gave me something to be strong for. And Audrey was a blessing for my parents. She was literally a miracle baby to begin with, but with my brother's passing, it helped them realize that life goes on. And more importantly that his memory would live on in the stories we tell her.

starbucks 3 years

Makes perfect sense, cheersdarling! My stepgrandfather passed away just two weeks after we found out we were expecting. He had long suffered from cancer. I couldn't be there in his last minutes because I had been admitted to the hospital myself. It was tough but I know the birth of my daughter helped my grandma get her mind off of things.

cheersdarlin916 3 years

I voted "yes" but I agree with other comments that it depends on the person. My Mom was dying from lung cancer during the first few months of my daughter's life and even though I was tearing up inside from watching my mom go through that and helping her stay comfortable in her last days on this earth my daughter was the ray of light that I needed to stay together. Even though I miss my Mom I know I have a life here still and I want to make my children's life as wonderful as my mom made mine. (I hope that makes sense.)

Bettye Wayne 3 years

I agree with everyone who says it depends on the person and the situation. I don't quite know for myself... I haven't had a death in my family since I was in my teens.

LadyAngel89 3 years

It was helpful to me. My grandmother passed away suddenly & unexpectedly when I was 5 months pregnant with my daughter. It was very hard. But at the same time, it's funny how people can reach out after death. We found baby clothes that she had tucked away for our daughter and a card she hadn't filled out for us yet. We closed on our house on the day of her funeral.... it was like she was willing everything to happen for us that we were so worried about. I hate that my daughter will never get to meet her and that she never got to see her greatgrandbaby. But I truly believe that she was ready to go and make sure we were ok.

3 years

I think it's dependant on the situation and the people, but for our family it's been helpful! When I was a little over 5 months pregnant with our 2nd baby, my husband's grandfather passed away. We had several small children running around during and after the service and the week that followed, and my very pronounced baby bump sticking out everywhere. Everyone kept saying that they were very happy to see life going on and the family continuing to grow. It doesn't end/stop when one life is lost. Then, I delivered our 3rd child on the 3rd of December and at 5am on the 5th, my uncle passed away. Same thing again. People were very surprised to see me at the funeral with a 1 week old baby but all said the same things about life moving on and how nice it is to actually see that in the form of a new life in my arms, and we're all very thankful that although my uncle didn't get the chance to meet our baby because of illness, he did know about her and see pictures and was overjoyed with her arrival.

3 years

New life helps you continue, but makes the grieving process much worse. I lost my grandmother when I was pregnant with my son, and he was a few months old when I lost my husband. I spent three months in an ICU ward with my husband, unable to see my son because of how severe my husband's illness was. Then once my husband passed, all I could think about was how much he would miss out on, how much my son would miss, and how much I would miss. It was an addition of grief. I had to grieve for what I lost, and still have to grieve for each milestone that my husband isn't there for.

schnappycat 3 years

Wow, that is tough, anon2. I'm sorry.

3 years

My parents died while I was pregnant with my first child, and I think having the baby made it worse. I couldn't sleep, I was sure either the baby or I would die during birth, and I had to cope with grief, hormones and trying to navigate the clueless new parent maze.

bryseana 3 years

I think it would depend on the person and the circumstances of the situation. Some women and men experience depression after the birth of a child. Grieving the loss of a loved one could add more distress.

3 years

I do think that it helps. It helped me remember that life is truly circular. There's life and death and everything in between. We had both a big birth and a big death in our family right in the same month. It was very therapeutic for me.

RoaringSilence 3 years

I don't think birth specifically makes it easier to cope, but I do think that any major changes that take your mind off things help. And birth is just about as big of a change as there is.

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