Do You Tell Your Kids About Serious Situations?

September 22, 2008

Earlier this year, I was at Disney's California Adventure Park with my husband and kids when we noticed a fun-loving dad playing with his children, and then realized it was Travis Barker. The drummer, 32, was in a plane crash over the weekend that killed four of the six people in the aircraft. The father of two — Landon, 4, and Alabama, 2, who is also close to former stepdaughter, Atiana De La Hoya, 9 — is said to be critically injured, but expected to make a full recovery. It has been reported that his offspring have not been told about the accident. Do you tell your children critical information?
Flynet

18 Comments

redsilkshoes 4 years

I honestly don't know but I do love these pictures of him with his kids. He looks like quite the involved adoring dad.

jessie 4 years

it depends on how the person is related to us, how severes...how it affects our family...and how i think our children would handle it. they were told when my best friend baby had drowned, for the fact that i babysat. and because they awoke that morning to find me sobbing in the kitchen. again....depends on what kind of situation.

RosaDilia 4 years

It depends on the situation. My son's father passed away three years ago trying to put out a fire in our apartment. We weren't home at the time but I was only a building away at my sister's apt. I noticed all the commotion and decided to walk to the building to see what was happening until I realized that it was my apartment that the firefighters were breaking the windows and hosing the apt down. My son was was seven and he apparently knew that something happened to his dad because we were visibly upset and neighbors and frieds crowded my mother in law's house. I told him exactly what happened and he was very upset and told me that he was proud that his dad tried to put out the fire.

RosaDilia 4 years

LiLRuck44 4 years

Aw lickety I'm sorry :(

LiLRuck44 4 years

Aw lickety I'm sorry :(

RobinFabulous 4 years

My aunt had a heart attack 4 weeks ago. She was really more of a grandmother to my children. My 10 year old we told that she was having heart trouble, my two younger that she was "sick" At 2 am when she died I left them snug in their beds and sent them to school the next morning. I did check them out around lunch, but I wasn't in any shape to tell them after being in the hospital all night. They were able to have semi normal mornings. Does it matter in the end to a 10 year old that she wasn't told right away? I don't think so.... I don't withold information, I just simply it and give it to them when I think the time is appropriate. I'm the mother and I hope I know what they can and can't handle.

californiagirlx7 4 years

I agree with the first poster, I think they should just tell them the basics and give them enough information to let them know what has happened but not all of the gruesome details. I'm sure Travis & Shanna will talk to them about it, but I think that they are just trying to make sure Travis is alright at the moment. Btw, thats so cool that you saw them at California Adventure. They go to the Disneyland Resort all the time, but I've never spotted them there. Travis seems like a really good dad, and you can tell that he loves Atiana as his own.

californiagirlx7 4 years

I agree with the first poster, I think they should just tell them the basics and give them enough information to let them know what has happened but not all of the gruesome details. I'm sure Travis & Shanna will talk to them about it, but I think that they are just trying to make sure Travis is alright at the moment.Btw, thats so cool that you saw them at California Adventure. They go to the Disneyland Resort all the time, but I've never spotted them there. Travis seems like a really good dad, and you can tell that he loves Atiana as his own.

pinkprincess1101 4 years

it all depends every child is different, thank god i have not lost anyone that i truly love and care for, but if that ever happened it would depend again on the situation who the family member was, my kids are very attached to my immediate family and my fiances family, i think my 9 year old would understand more and take it better, but i guess when that situation arises i will know the answer

lickety split 4 years

at the appropriate time. my mom died a year ago and i knew when my dad called that she was probably not going to make it. i called the school and told them i would be coming to get my girls and why. but when i picked them up i only said that grandma was sick and would feel better if she got to see them. that gave me the freedom to drive to her (500 miles away) w/o them having an anxiety attack and/or getting me upset. when we got to the hospital they weren't allowed in the icu so there was a more specific discussion of grandma being "really sick" and then a the week unfolded there was a little more added each day until she died (still a difficult conversation). in this case i wouldn't tell the 2 or 4 year old anything. the 2 year old isn't going to get it until she sees her dad "daddy had a big booboo" and the 4 year old will need to be told before hand that daddy looks different now but he's still daddy. the 9 year old i would tell here only because she will undoubtedly hear it from someone else and that will be what she remembers, how she was the last to know. but it's tough with kids. maybe there are circumstances we don't know about.

lickety split 4 years

at the appropriate time. my mom died a year ago and i knew when my dad called that she was probably not going to make it. i called the school and told them i would be coming to get my girls and why. but when i picked them up i only said that grandma was sick and would feel better if she got to see them. that gave me the freedom to drive to her (500 miles away) w/o them having an anxiety attack and/or getting me upset. when we got to the hospital they weren't allowed in the icu so there was a more specific discussion of grandma being "really sick" and then a the week unfolded there was a little more added each day until she died (still a difficult conversation).in this case i wouldn't tell the 2 or 4 year old anything. the 2 year old isn't going to get it until she sees her dad "daddy had a big booboo" and the 4 year old will need to be told before hand that daddy looks different now but he's still daddy. the 9 year old i would tell here only because she will undoubtedly hear it from someone else and that will be what she remembers, how she was the last to know. but it's tough with kids. maybe there are circumstances we don't know about.

Greggie 4 years

Depends on the situation, the child, etc. Would I tell my kids about this situation that doesn't involve us? No. But if it happened within our family, I would share information on a level they can individually understand.

Mykie7 4 years

To me, it's dependent upon the ability of the child to cope with the situation. In my house, when my grandfather died, my children were 11 and 4. I told the 11 year old, and asked him if he wanted to attend the funeral. I gave him an option because knowing that child, NOT telling him would have caused him more angst because he's very in tune to MY feelings. However with the 4 year old, all we told him AT THAT TIME, was that Grandpa was gone and he wouldn't be seeing him for a long time. He accepted that, and when he was older and asked about him, we explained it to him. Only the parents can REALLY know how their particular child will handle it, you can't really put an age limit on it, because even at 11, some kids can't handle it.

Frank y Ava 4 years

But yes I think 3 or 4 and up should have a small clue to what's going on.

Frank y Ava 4 years

I love Travis he seems like such a good dad even to Atiana. I wish him a speedy recovery.

stephley 4 years

I think the 9 and 4 year should get some information - they're very likely going to pick up on the concern of adults around them, or hear something from another child. If a child thinks you're afraid to tell them something, or that they know something they shouldn't, I think they're not likely to tell you what they know or fear. Bad stuff happens in life and children need to learn that they'll be helped and cared for through it all.

rosesandeson 4 years

I think I would give them the very basic information in this case; I don't really see the need to give them details that might scare them, esp because he is expected to make a full recovery. I think kids are often treated as adults and given more information than they understand or can process...

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