Do You Judge a Parent by Her Children?

September 19, 2008

Mother to Apple, 4, and Moses, 2, Gwyneth Paltrow recently chatted with Oprah motherhood and her friend Madonna. Ultimately, the actress told the talk show host that you can measure somebody by his or her children. Do you agree with this sentiment?

Bauer-Griffin

40 Comments

AKirstin 4 years 34 weeks

Hey, here's a novel thought: Children are their own people, completely, and not just an extension of your ego, Gwyneth! Wow!

AKirstin 4 years 34 weeks

Hey, here's a novel thought:Children are their own people, completely, and not just an extension of your ego, Gwyneth! Wow!

CaterpillarGirl 4 years 34 weeks

I base it on age really, When A child is in its teen years? I dont judge the parents on thier behavior.

Greggie 4 years 34 weeks

But that's basing it on how the mother reacts, not on the children. This is my ongoing point. *lol*

naughtymonkey01 4 years 35 weeks

I dont know how to say this exactly but... i wonder if when she said what she said, she meant not the child exactly but the whole package. like when you are out in public and there is two kids with shopping carts (mother standing right there) and they go to opposite corners of the store and start running towards each other to slam carts. almost running people over. the mother did nothng, not even look really. and everyone else who was almost run over was upset. because of that wHOLE incident i left a little judgy of the mother.

naughtymonkey01 4 years 35 weeks

I dont know how to say this exactly but... i wonder if when she said what she said, she meant not the child exactly but the whole package. like when you are out in public and there is two kids with shopping carts (mother standing right there) and they go to opposite corners of the store and start running towards each other to slam carts. almost running people over. the mother did nothng, not even look really. and everyone else who was almost run over was upset.because of that wHOLE incident i left a little judgy of the mother.

Greggie 4 years 35 weeks

Oh I don't base my opinion of Lynne Spears on her daughter's pregnancy. Very many wonderful and attentive parents end up with pregnant teens. So I'm not contradicting that by not judging Palin on the same thing. My opinion of Lynne Spears was cemented long before Jamie Lynn even hit the public eye at all, much less got pregnant. If anything, the way Lynne handled a lot of that helped my opinion of her, assuming I block out how she sold out her daughter and granddaughter in the process. Glowing Moon gave an excellent example of why I think the interaction is more important than the child's behavior alone.

Greggie 4 years 35 weeks

Oh I don't base my opinion of Lynne Spears on her daughter's pregnancy. Very many wonderful and attentive parents end up with pregnant teens. So I'm not contradicting that by not judging Palin on the same thing. My opinion of Lynne Spears was cemented long before Jamie Lynn even hit the public eye at all, much less got pregnant. If anything, the way Lynne handled a lot of that helped my opinion of her, assuming I block out how she sold out her daughter and granddaughter in the process.Glowing Moon gave an excellent example of why I think the interaction is more important than the child's behavior alone.

GlowingMoon 4 years 35 weeks

It depends. Sometimes, yes. One time, I witnessed a child (about 7 years old) called another child by a homophobic slur ("f*ggot"). The child hollered it. His parents stood two feet away, and did nothing. I was shocked by the parents non-action. I don't have children. However, I can say with certainty that if I did, and my child hollered that slur, I would have responded. As a parent, I would have FIRMLY guided my child from saying something like again.

GlowingMoon 4 years 35 weeks

It depends. Sometimes, yes.One time, I witnessed a child (about 7 years old) called another child by a homophobic slur ("f*ggot"). The child hollered it. His parents stood two feet away, and did nothing. I was shocked by the parents non-action.I don't have children. However, I can say with certainty that if I did, and my child hollered that slur, I would have responded. As a parent, I would have FIRMLY guided my child from saying something like again.

K is For Kait 4 years 35 weeks

I think it can be true, but not always. I mean, if we judged parents based on their children, wouldn't VP nominee Sarah Palin be completely screwed? Lynne Spears is an idiot who let her daughter get pregnant, but Sarah Palin and her pregnant daughter are victims of sociey's influences. Gotta love hypocrisy.

K is For Kait 4 years 35 weeks

I think it can be true, but not always. I mean, if we judged parents based on their children, wouldn't VP nominee Sarah Palin be completely screwed?Lynne Spears is an idiot who let her daughter get pregnant, but Sarah Palin and her pregnant daughter are victims of sociey's influences. Gotta love hypocrisy.

Mesayme 4 years 35 weeks

Based on my own personal experience yes. Absolutely. But it has to be a mother I've spent time with. Just watching strangers with their children and making a snap judgment no. I have three children. They are all different. And the only thing you could safely conclude regarding myself from watching them is that poor grades is a no, and being disrespectful to adults is a 'not having it'. I raise them like my grandmother raised me. That's just one example though.

Nyrina Windu 4 years 35 weeks

No. Sometimes children have disabilities that make them act a certain way. And sometimes there are situations that makes a child act out in the family. In other words, for example, some kids act differently to divorce. One good child in the family may be understanding and try to work with it. But then another good child in the family will turn rebel and use the divorce situation for their own gain, just to get attention in the worse way or get back at their parents for parting the family.

Nyrina Windu 4 years 35 weeks

gab6784 4 years 35 weeks

I use to think this was true but after watching some of my family members with their kids I know it is not. Like Greggie said sometimes the best parents in the world get difficult children or "rebels".

CoralAmber 4 years 35 weeks

I think each kid is unique. My best friend's kids are well behaved and smart, and while she is a great parent, even she sometimes wonders where her children get some of their traits. Once the eldest one started school, she started coming home with bad grammar and a little drama queen attitude she never had at home. I don't think you can judge parents solely by their kids, but you can judge parents by how they interact and behave with them.

Greggie 4 years 35 weeks

Excellent grammar in my post.

Greggie 4 years 35 weeks

Excellent grammar in my post.

Greggie 4 years 35 weeks

I think a better way of putting it is that you can tell a parent by how they handles their children, not by how the children act in and of itself.

jambalam 4 years 35 weeks

I think it's usually true. Most of persons behaviour comes from their upbringing and the set of values and manners that their parents bestowed. Having said that there are just sometimes bad-uns that don't empathize or care about people including their parents. I think that good upbringing is not just being told what is right and wrong and being protected - they are very important too but it is also important to be strong and confident and lead by example. I went to some very bad schools and was put under a lot of pressure but I had so much respect for my parents (even though they may have been unfashionable) that nothing could convince me that some mouthy school-kids opinion was worth more than my parents.

jambalam 4 years 35 weeks

DesignRchic 4 years 35 weeks

No. I think that children develop their own personalities that can sometimes be opposite of their parents. What I do jugde however is when a child is blatantly disobeying or being disrespectful and the parent doesn't correct it immediately or when they (the parent) don't follow through with a consequence to bad behavior and then the child starts to be testy. Does that make sense?

beccalu 4 years 35 weeks

You know, I can see someone thinking that you can judge a person by their kids, but I happen to know the sweetest little girl in the world and she has had the worst upbringing you could imagine. She is completely self-disciplining and an angel and it has NOTHING to do with her parents. So no, I don't think you can judge someone by how their kids act.

Greggie 4 years 35 weeks

I know plenty of toddlers and older kids that I don't like to be around at all even though I adore their parents.

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