Did You Have to Talk Your Man Into Fatherhood?

November 24, 2009

Ticktock, ticktock. As Marisa Tomei so eloquently said in her unitard and high-heeled boot attire in My Cousin Vinny, "My biological clock is tickin' like this (stomping with hands in the air), and the way this case is goin', I ain't never gettin' married." Many women anxious to get their family life started often take the lead in the baby making conversations. Men eager to be fathers may be delighted that their lady is ready and willing to enter pregnancy while some of their counterparts require some coaxing or even deception.

Did you have to twist your partner's arm into parenthood or was he raring to go?

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11 Comments

betty kraker 3 years 25 weeks

i was like omg hes like yeah

Studio16 3 years 25 weeks

There is a huge difference between an accidental pregnancy that you are both mature enough to handle and "forgetting" your pill or poking a hole in the condom. (I just wanted to clarify that since we have some moms whose kids were not planned. I don't want to look like a mega b.) And like another poster said, people do change over time, yes. If that's the case, accept it or divorce your spouse. I know that sounds extremely harsh, especially since I've never been there, but you'll both be happier. And it's just not fair to saddle your significant other with responsibility he/she never wanted.

doogirl 3 years 25 weeks

When my husband turned 30, on his birthday, I was 26, when people would ask what he wanted for his birthday he replied, "I want a baby!" We had been married 6 years and it was time.

Relli80 3 years 25 weeks

Like BellaFrankl I recently had a baby with my boyfriend. We knew very early in our relationship that we wanted to be together, have babies and basically build our life together. But our plans got a little thrown out of whack and our son came as a very early and wonderful surprise. Although it is challenging at times, I do not think I could have planned it any better, he is amazing! I have always been a big believer in that things happen in life when you are ready to mentally and emotionally deal with them. I went from party girl to mom in two years, and its been some ride. People (men do it too) who are looking to trap their mate by pregnancy are not thinking about what a HUGE life commitment a child is. You can divorce spouses but you can never divorce your children.

Hello890 3 years 25 weeks

sorry, spelling error in last message. What I meant to say was: "I developed a strong desire to have children."

Hello890 3 years 25 weeks

I also want to add that, even though you discuss children with your partner before marriage, people sometimes change. Discussing does help, but not always. My partner and I both wanted 1-2 kids when we were around 35ish, but during my twenties, I developed a strong de children. I feel bad for doing that to him. That's why I waited for him, but I'm not going to wait till I'm 35! So, I guess we're compromising. :)

FrankiLee 3 years 25 weeks

I agree with the first poster. You should definitely have a discussion about children before you get married. I am not married, my boyfriend and I were quite surprised when we found out we were expecting! Even though we weren't planning on having a child that soon, we were both very excited to be parents. He is a wonderful father. We had both talked about children a while before we found out we were expecting our daughter and were both on the same page about when we wanted them. Guess she decided to come a bit early! I think deceiving your husband is absolutely awful. The guilt would eat away at me.

Hello890 3 years 25 weeks

I've been wanting a baby for a few years now and I've waited for my husband to feel ready too. I think we're just about there...probably sometime this upcoming year! People actually suggested that I "forget" my b-control pill! Glad I didn't listen to them! Idiots.

3 years 26 weeks

runningesq, are you suggesting that every woman isn't just dying to become a mama, even to the point of using deception to achieve that goal? how else would you get to portray yourself as the ultimate martyr?

runningesq 3 years 26 weeks

Yeah ^^ a surprise pregnancy when it's only a surprise to one person is not a good way to bring a child into the world. Anyhow, where's the "my husband was more excited and had to convince me" button? ;)

Studio16 3 years 26 weeks

"require coaxing or deception"? Excuse me? I'm sorry, but no one requires deception. You should have broached the issue of kids before you got married. Oopsing your husband is the expressway to divorce court.

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