Comparing Parenting Cultures; Are Chinese Mothers Superior?

Comparing Parenting Cultures; Are "Chinese Mothers" Superior?

January 10, 2011

Imagine a childhood where your opinion doesn't count. Formative years void of sleepovers, school plays, and the ability to earn any grade other than an A. To many parents these suggestions (and occasionally calling your kid garbage) seem like they should be in a handbook of how not to raise a child, but they are Amy Chua's arguments for productive parenting. The mother of two, author, and law professor penned Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior, a controversial piece recently published in the Wall Street Journal. The article has stirred up intense emotions and a volatile comments section. What's your opinion?

Source: Getty

8 Comments

mollyparnis 2 years 18 weeks

If you care about your children succeeded in a very competitive world than I'd listen to what Amy Chua has to say.

Susannah Chen 2 years 19 weeks

I'm not a mother, but I can't stop thinking about this article. I'm Chinese, but thankfully I didn't grow up with a mother who was like that — at all. I think it has one good point: That when kids get good at something, that's when things really start to get fun. But other than that, I have to disagree. As a child, any time I excelled, it was largely because of the pressure I gave myself, not any extreme dictating that I received from my parents.

megnmac 2 years 19 weeks

I just want a balance - I want to push, and teach my child that only through hard work (which no one enjoys initially) will you succeed at new things (from piano to sports to anything else she enjoys). I think the balance I'm going to try for is teaching her that through work she will do well, not simply because she is inherently perfect (she is) or smart or athletic - and I think that is where we naturally fail. Lots of studies on the American parenting show we overpraise them for being 'smart' or 'good' and they are terrified of trying anything new or risking anything that will show they are not 'smart' or 'good' - praising and developing hard work ethic is what I want to take from the Chinese parenting... not the criticism or view that my child owes it to me... she owes it to herself.

2 years 19 weeks

No sleepovers, fine. But no playdates? So her kids never go over to a friend's house or have a friend over? Does that mean they only see their friends at school or activities, never outside that? Gross.

2 years 19 weeks

There are many cultures where sleep overs are not the norm. I don't agree that they're necessary for proper social development. The rule in my house was you can have as many friends as you want but at the end of the day, everybody goes back to their OWN home. I complained about it as a kid... but looking back I think it was quite healthy. Verbal abuse on the other hand is an immense lack of respect for another human, which is what your child is, a human being. Calling ANYONE "garbage" and even more so you're own child is immoral. Whatever the culture.

Studio16 2 years 19 weeks

I am all for strict parenting. I think we need more parents who are not afraid to be actual parents instead of friends. I think it's great that they push their children to do their best - frankly I would rather a mother push her children to get As then let them skate by with Ds and Fs. However, Mrs. Chua is far too intense for my tastes. Her daughters aren't allowed to choose their own extracurricular activities? Wtf. They weren't allowed to go to sleepovers or have playdates? Those are natural parts of being a child. In fact, they encourage social development, which is just as important as academic/mental development. (And I don't get why they HAD to play the piano/violin, nothing else. Or why they couldn't be in school plays. Seriously?) I think there needs to be a happy medium. Yes, pushing your kids to excel in school is great. Demanding nothing short of perfection is awesome. But screwing your children out of having friends is just a tragedy.

2 years 19 weeks

I think that whatever good points may be involved in her parenting style are completely overrun by her abuse, both physical and verbal.

2 years 19 weeks

As a jewish mother, I have to firmly DISAGREE on the superiority of Chinese mothers... ;P (of course I'm joking... sort of...)