Children Estranged From the Parents

Estrangement: Does Child Have the Right to Cut Off Parent?

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A mom may map out her babe's life when he is born, but that doesn't mean she'll be part of it. As children become adults, whether they stay connected to their parents is up to them. A recent report featured a single mother who went into counseling to try to figure out why she is estranged from her daughter. While abuse can be an understandable reason to sever familial ties, many distanced relationships happen as a result of unresolved disagreements, differences of opinions, or reasons unknown. Do you think it's fair for children to cut ties with the people who gave them life and actively raised them?

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12 Comments

wendysmom wendysmom
My mother has proven through life to be most difficult and sometimes I have thought about estranging myself from her. But then i think about the good about her and how my life would be so empty and not right without her in my life. I now am an adult and can now express to her certain things i disagree with her on. I hold no grudges just a lot of love and admiration for her. I am also extremely grateful to still have a Mom being 54 and she is 88. I realize all the things I detested about her when I was young are part of her character and her gumption for life. I also realize as I get older you can't change someone you can only learn to love them and accept them for who they are.
Blood is thicker than water (estranged loved ones) to hear visit or click on the following URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=polyeJCUU7w
katialoves katialoves
i;m not sure which one to vote for....there's a fine line / really gray area
amber512 amber512
Sometimes it is just plain necessary. Forgiveness does not equal trust or a willingness to allow a new hurt.
Anon#7, GOOD FOR YOU! I'm that way and there is no reason to have negativity when you don't have to!
It is very sad when a person has to cut ties with a family member. I recently cut ties with my sisters and my parents are close to being cut off as well. I have gone through years of being the scapegoat of the family and there's only so much a person can take. Why have negativity in ones life? Life is too short.
So strange that this is a topic today...I have cut ties with my mother. She has bi-polar and refuses to acknowledge the problem or take medication. She was verbally and emotionally abusive my entire life. Final straw came in January. Her husband and mother had died, and I had flown out to do everything I could for her, then calling her every day when I got back. Then my Grandmother died--she was my best friend (and more like a mother to me). My mother did nothing. No card. No flowers. No calling just to see how I was. Not one thing. And it reminded me of why I'd cut her off for 4 years before. She was happy my Gran was gone, because she'd always been jealous of her.
starbucks starbucks
Yes! I know people who should've cut ties with their parents because they destroyed all the self-worth they had left! Obviously you should try to mend things and not part for stupid things. But sometimes you are better off without someone!
lickety split lickety split
Yes if the relationship is damaging even for children I think they should have the option of NOT having contact with a parent. Why are you forced to have a relationship with your abuser because of your DNA? Not everythng should be forgiven/
In my case there was physical abuse. I haven't spoken to my father in 10 years, and that will continue until he can face what he did and apologize.
Speaking from experience, it's not always a case of a "simple disagreement" that should then just "simply be forgiven"! For lack of a better term I am estranged from my Dad's mother as is he. It's something that was a long time building and we're both better off without that negative relationship in our lives. No, there was no physical abuse, but I'd certainly call favouritism a form of mental abuse, especially when you suffer it your whole life! Not little things like "Johnny did a better job coloring the picture" either. We're talking about money, time and encouragement, and general support in life! I can tell you that I'm happier not having a person in my life that believed it's better to give me a family business calendar and a can of mixed nuts for Christmas while several of my cousins are sitting across the room with well over $200 worth of high end stuff from the same person. At 12 I was definitely old enough to feel the discrepancy. There are so many things that happened over the years between our family and her that all added up to a far less stressful and far healthier life if we simply don't have contact anymore! I think that until you've been in the situation, you really can't say what's best. Sure it's nice to have an idyllic outlook on life and think it can all be worked out, but that's not always true.
JoneyStar JoneyStar
Sometimes the parent/child bond has to be broken but only for valid good reasons. For example if the child or parent live a destructive life that can be damaging to the people around them. (i.e. drugs, alcohol, crime, abuse) But I don't see the need to end a parent/ child relationship over petty disagreements or difference of opinion that can be overcome with simple forgiveness. We will always meet with people who we don't agree with and we often find a way to overlook those differences for a stranger. Why not more so for our parents? It is better to resolve it now before its too late and we are no longer anyones son or daughter, mother or father because our loved one has passed away.
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