Can You Tell the Difference Between Moms and Nannies?

September 30, 2008

My husband spends a ton of time at the playground with our kids and swears he can tell the difference between moms and nannies and dads and mannies. When I asked how, he said it's obvious when you watch their interactions.

I'm not so sure I agree, but it did make me laugh when we saw a too perfectly primped woman pushing a double stroller with newborn twins in it and he declared "nanny." Then moments later, he called "mother" on a woman holding her tot sideways as she crossed the street. Do you think it's possible to call out parents from caretakers based on observations?

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28 Comments

snowysakurasky 4 years 32 weeks

most people probably wouldn't waste time watching and trying to figure it out... i can't figure out the polite way to ask, so i always 'assume' that its the mom, and let them correct me if necessary.

meandtheo 4 years 32 weeks

i am a nanny and a new mom, my daughter comes with me to work....no one could ever tell if i was the mom or nanny and these girls look nothing like me. as a matter of fact, one of the girls teachers assistants thought i was the mom. I am VERY close with these girls, we play, we snuggle, we go to the grocery store, the doctor...they call my daughter their sister. we may have an unusual closeness though because their mother passed away...that said though, my nanny friends are equally as close to the children they watch. a little note about the snide looks from other moms. i often set up playdates with other moms and their kids in which the other mom and i were left to sit and chat. sometimes this was really uncomfortable, but not since giving birth to my daughter; it seems now that i am in the mommy club i get the respect of other mothers and we now get along just grandly.

meandtheo 4 years 32 weeks

i am a nanny and a new mom, my daughter comes with me to work....no one could ever tell if i was the mom or nanny and these girls look nothing like me. as a matter of fact, one of the girls teachers assistants thought i was the mom. I am VERY close with these girls, we play, we snuggle, we go to the grocery store, the doctor...they call my daughter their sister. we may have an unusual closeness though because their mother passed away...that said though, my nanny friends are equally as close to the children they watch.a little note about the snide looks from other moms. i often set up playdates with other moms and their kids in which the other mom and i were left to sit and chat. sometimes this was really uncomfortable, but not since giving birth to my daughter; it seems now that i am in the mommy club i get the respect of other mothers and we now get along just grandly.

skigurl 4 years 33 weeks

maybe i should say mail-order-nanny

skigurl 4 years 33 weeks

yes! how do i say this without coming off rude?when they're obviously dial-a-nanny it's not too hard to tell!

skigurl 4 years 33 weeks

yes! how do i say this without coming off rude? when they're obviously dial-a-nanny it's not too hard to tell!

christie 4 years 33 weeks

Haha mommaof2, I get that all the time and hate the dirty looks people give me. I can't help that I look 18 instead of my age. And it amazes me how rude people can be about it.Umm to answer the question, no I can't tell but we don't really have nannies around here.

christie 4 years 33 weeks

Haha mommaof2, I get that all the time and hate the dirty looks people give me. I can't help that I look 18 instead of my age. And it amazes me how rude people can be about it. Umm to answer the question, no I can't tell but we don't really have nannies around here.

momma tikita 4 years 33 weeks

well my story is diffrent..i was the teen mother..and i forever gets looks and stares and remarks all the time. its too the point we're i've become quite rude because of it. im 24 and have 2 beautiful kids with my husband..yet people still judge that. the WORSE part is that i dont look like my age i actually look younger. so it makes it much harder. i had one woman one day tell me "BOTH of them are yours? really? wow...but your so skinny!" yes lady im 5'2 weigh about 112.. so i told her "so its because im skinny? i wasnt aware that only fat women can have kids. Either way my husband loves me like this!" and walked away. rude..maybe..just the other day some lady told me "the nanny?" i looked at her and said "no these are my kids ma'am." gave me a nasty look and said "oh wow your having young arent you?". she was an older lady(30's) who had a 4 year old and i said " yeah i guess...is she your grandaughter?" she obviously wasnt...she just walked away without answering! o wow...okay so to asnwer the question (LOL) i say no..you cant tell

momma tikita 4 years 33 weeks

well my story is diffrent..i was the teen mother..and i forever gets looks and stares and remarks all the time. its too the point we're i've become quite rude because of it. im 24 and have 2 beautiful kids with my husband..yet people still judge that. the WORSE part is that i dont look like my age i actually look younger. so it makes it much harder. i had one woman one day tell me "BOTH of them are yours? really? wow...but your so skinny!" yes lady im 5'2 weigh about 112.. so i told her "so its because im skinny? i wasnt aware that only fat women can have kids. Either way my husband loves me like this!" and walked away. rude..maybe.. just the other day some lady told me "the nanny?" i looked at her and said "no these are my kids ma'am." gave me a nasty look and said "oh wow your having young arent you?". she was an older lady(30's) who had a 4 year old and i said " yeah i guess...is she your grandaughter?" she obviously wasnt...she just walked away without answering! o wow...okay so to asnwer the question (LOL) i say no..you cant tell

Aimeelo 4 years 33 weeks

When I started my nanny job I was 19 and people assumed that I was the mother and I was always treated very rudely. If there was any whining or crying in public, I would all of a sudden become a horrible teen mom who couldn't keep her legs together. Now 2 years later, everyone assumes I have a cute kid.

lms 4 years 33 weeks

I agree with MacGirl. In my neighborhood the nannies are a different race most of the time. I too would not be phased by a mom with a different hair color. I find sometimes though the nanny seems to interact with the kids more than the mother.

lms 4 years 33 weeks

lickety split 4 years 33 weeks

i would here, because the nannies are all on their cell phones and acting distracted and bored. the moms are more involved with the children. also, you don't see nannies at the same places (usually) as you see moms. nannies at the park: yes. nannies at the doctor's: no. moms at the grocery store: yes.

macgirl 4 years 33 weeks

In my neighborhood we have a lot of nannies that are of a different nationality than the kids so they kind of stick out. If I was someplace where that wasn't the case I wouldn't have any idea. I think I just always assume if I see a woman out with kids that they belong to her. I don't think I would be phased if I saw a woman with black hair and blonde kids.

litbear221 4 years 33 weeks

Sorry that comment didn't flow very smoothly :)

litbear221 4 years 33 weeks

i think it really depends on the situation. There are some who you can tell are flat out nannies but others it is hard to differentiate. I Nanny two little girls separately, and they both look very much like me. I'm 23 and I always get the dirty stares at the park. There is a lot of the time that i can tell whether a parent has a nanny though by the way they interact with the child... I know that when I get dressed to nanny i Don't usually wear white and i use my more scrubby jeans, so i usually end up in a hoodie and old vans. I also think it really depends on the area you are in.

litbear221 4 years 33 weeks

jessie 4 years 33 weeks

in all honesty...i've never even thought about trying to tell the two apart..:)

californiagirlx7 4 years 33 weeks

I think I could tell the difference.hithatsmybike, the same thing happens to me. I baby-sit this 1 year old boy every week in a ritzy area of town. One time I took him to the park and the moms were giving me "looks" because I think they assumed that I was a teen mom (I'm 19) and this little boy was my son. Nope, I'm just the baby-sitter! But I do have a friend that is 20 and she has a 3 month old daughter, but she takes great care of her.And I always wear clothes that are comfortable because I know he might spill something on them or I will get them dirty somehow.

californiagirlx7 4 years 33 weeks

I think I could tell the difference. hithatsmybike, the same thing happens to me. I baby-sit this 1 year old boy every week in a ritzy area of town. One time I took him to the park and the moms were giving me "looks" because I think they assumed that I was a teen mom (I'm 19) and this little boy was my son. Nope, I'm just the baby-sitter! But I do have a friend that is 20 and she has a 3 month old daughter, but she takes great care of her. And I always wear clothes that are comfortable because I know he might spill something on them or I will get them dirty somehow.

stefsprl 4 years 33 weeks

I'm a nanny, and I'm constantly assumed to be their mom. I totally agree with Greggie, too -- I would have thought the perfectly dressed one to be a mom, too. I'm usually not all dressed up when I know I could get nice clothes ruined at work!

hithatsmybike 4 years 33 weeks

Probably -- but I was ALWAYS mistaken for the mom when I was nannying and it was AWFUL because the kids I took care of were ages 4 and 1, so I just looked like a slutty teen mother. Sometimes I got those judgmental looks of disdain and I just wanted to be like HEY! don't look at me like that!! I look at teen moms like that!! I KNOW THAT LOOK and you are misplacing it!!

Happsmjc 4 years 33 weeks

no way! im always with my nieces and nephews and people mistake them as my own! it used to make me laugh when i was so young--now its def. more believable!

Frank y Ava 4 years 33 weeks

I can't say that I can tell the difference between a mother and a nanny.

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