Asking Parent's Permission to Marriage

Is It a Parent's Place to Grant Their Daughter's Hand in Marriage?

June 28, 2010

The minute a child is born, parents start imagining who the baby will grow up to be. They see images of the infant playing sports, drawing pictures, wearing a cap and gown, securing a job, and getting married. While asking a father's (or parent's) permission for their girl's hand in marriage may be a tradition in some families, modern times have made women more independent. Do you hope that your daughter's fiance will propose to her or ask you first?

6 Comments

Studio16 2 years 46 weeks

I would be thrilled to death if my boyfriend asked my parents before proposing. It's not a sign of oppression, it's a sign of respect. It's tradition.

2 years 46 weeks

My parents would have said a big "NO!" to my husband had he asked them for their permission as it would have been a HUGE sign that he didn't know me or them at all! While having the blessing/support of one's parents is hugely important to me, I think that is massively different than having their permission to marry.

POPSUGAR Moms 2 years 46 weeks

I want to hear the exciting news straight from my daughter. I don't want to know before she does.

2 years 46 weeks

The days of arranged marriages and betrothal are long gone in North America and many other areas, so I really don't see the point of asking the parents. Having said that I think it is nice in the fact that you are showing respect for your future in-laws opinion. When my children are older, I will not expect my son to ask or that my daughters' partners ask us, but it would be nice.

stellaRuby 2 years 46 weeks

I am with you Sourcherry. My dad would be so uncomfortable to if my husband would have done that.

sourcherry 2 years 46 weeks

I don't want any partner of mine asking my parents permission, even though I have a good relationship with them. I just don't feel like it's their decision to make. By the same logic, if someday I have a daughter I wouldn't expect that from her partner.

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