Mommy Dearest,
My friends are clueless and in need of some pregnancy etiquette. I am due in one month and they expect me to have dinner at 9 p.m. I can't think of a worse time!
Then, people cancel at the last minute on dinners that have been planned for weeks. My social life is dwindling and they're messing with it. At this point, I need bow downs, not hassles!
– Pregnant Princess
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Pregnant Princess,
I'm empathetic to your dilemma. Your friends should try to understand that late dinners are not your forte and that canceling on you without notice is a bum deal.
So my advice on how to deal with the nincompoops who stick you in these jams is to reserve dinner plans in the last month of pregnancy for your closest friends. They might be the only people you want to see when you're as big as a house with cankles anyhow. More importantly, if your best friends suggest dining late, you can honestly tell them that you prefer an early reservation.
Once you set a date, tell your friends that you'd appreciate a couple days notice if they need to cancel so you can make alternate plans. After all, your "adult only" days are numbered.
But, be careful not to become too much of a diva. Being nine months pregnant may have you feeling less than fired up for dinner and you might be the one to cancel.
- Mommy Dearest
Sumbit a question for this feature at the Mommy Dearest Group on TeamSugar.
Just Cavalli
Temperley London
Alviero Martini
Just be honest tell them you are 8 months pregnant and tired and need to eat earlier.
1I too cannot eat late, but I've told all my friends so it works out okay. The one time it got pushed later, I canceled and explained why. There were no hard feelings.
2Just say no to late dinner plans. They can expect you to do anything you want, doesn't mean you actually have to do it.
Cancelling late without just cause is rude not matter what the reproductive status.
3I've stopped making dinner plans as my post 5pm status is always up in the air and has been most of my pregnancy. I've only had one cancellation and was rather annoyed as the other party kept pushing dinner later and later and then completely flaked. I would have rather had my dinner out of the way by 5pm
4How is cancelling dinner plans when someone is pregnant any different from when someone isn't pregnant? Sorry, but once I am pregnant I'm not gonna expect special treatment. Not my style.
5That's my point, citizenkane. It's no different. If you have a valid reason, you have a valid reason, period. If not, it's rude no matter who you're cancelling on at the last minute.
6Im sorry, i would just say "that is too late" instead of saying nothing than writing a website for advice. Are people just wimps nowadays?
7Yeah this isn't really pregnancy etiquette. It's general politeness. If you want a get together with friends, you do it at a generally acceptable time, not one that leaves someone out, period.
8I think it qualifies. There are a number of issues involved in pregnancy that don't exist when you're not pregnant. I could eat dinner at 8, 9, or 10 p.m. and be dandy. When I was pregnant, if, by some miracle, I even made it that late in the day and didn't pass out, I'd get terrible heartburn and be quite ill if I ate that late. As far as dinner time is concerned, the gist I get from the original question-asker is that her friends may not have come along with the change. Whether that's because they don't understand the change or just don't care, I don't know. But, I think it's a valid complaint.
9i think the issue is the change in ones status, from being someone who could tolerate eating dinner at 8 or 9 and your friends know it to having dinner past 7:30 being something that makes you either unable to sleep or ill for the next day.
it is a big change with the friends when one day you could do a late dinner and now it just messes everything up.
10Who makes dinner plans at 9pm??? That is an absurd time to eat. I never eat after 8pm. Pregnant or not. When i was pregnant i spent most of my time in my house or i would only go out to dinner with my husband or my close family. My friends understood.
I do know how it feels to have flaky friends....we live in this "me, me, me" world where most people only think of themselves and never about how someone else might feel. It sickens me! Do onto others....i always say.
11Novaraen- although its not common in the U.S there are a lot of countries where having dinner at 9 or 10 at night is the cultural norm.
You need to just put your foot down and explain that you cannot have dinner at a late hour because you are pregnant and it is not comfortable for you. If they truly are your friends they should understand and be able to work with you
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