The daddy should be present if at all possible at the birth of his child.

I disagree entirely with the obstetricians statement, however, it's up to the couple as to how they want to handle the delivery of their child. So it's one of those case by case situations, I think.

I agree with the obstetrician to a point. I would love to see every woman be able to have an experienced midwife at her delivery, as well as the smallest amount of technology, but if the father wants to be there and the mother wants him there, and everyone follows the mothers wishes, then absolutely be there. Less people makes for less stress, and as long as if the mother says what she wants, ie-"please be quiet and just let me focus" it should all be good

So if a male presence can cause discomfort, as a male OB, he shouldn't be in the room.

The birth experience should be what the parents want. If that means a room full of people partying (assuming they're not getting in the way of medical personnel), cool. If it means just mom, cool. I don't agree that birth should be quiet and low-profile, I think it should be totally individual. I would be totally uncomfortable with anyone buy my husband in the room and I request that medical personnel be kept to a minimum. Without my husband, I'd be lost. My best friend believes the more the merrier, and wants conversation and laughter. Yet another friend basically wants to be alone, so I also disagree with the statement that a father should be at a birth if at all possible. It's so different from woman to woman and that should be respected, not a blanket requirement.

Hah. When my older sister was born in the 70s, dads weren't allowed in the delivery room. My mom always said she wished she'd been able to have my dad by her side rather than her own mom crying over her 20yo daughter having a child out of wedlock..

I regret having my baby's daddy in the delivery room. Blood, guts, vomit and other things. Not so pretty. I also regret having it at a big hospital. It's so impersonal. Everyone in the dam hospital saw my cooch wide open. I'll probably try those natural delivery places like that doctor suggests, if I ever decide to have another one.

I say let him stay in the room as long as he is prepped on what is going to happen and is able to communicate with the mother and tend to her wishes during the delivery.

My ex was such a drama queen...first kid...he was in full "migraine" mode and demanding more meds than I was asking for. Second kid...he again had some sort of "issue" which demanded pain relief. My parents teased him saying it was sympathy pain for me---but I think if he was truthful he would have escaped the whole thing if given that option. Now in retrospect, it explains why he never bonded with our kids---because he neglected to tell me he never had wanted any but "went along" with the idea because it seemed so important to me....(I mentioned he IS and EX now)

My mother was present for both births and I was so grateful. She had been "put to sleep" when she delivered all of us---so she cherishes the memory of being there for her grandchildren. She was my advocate demanding a ridiculous nurse let me hold my child for a few minutes before she took her off to the NICU...a trip which our pediatrician said had been a stupid reaction by an inexperienced OB nurse. Without that few minutes, I would not have held my daughter until 6 hours later....6 hours I cried and prayed. That OB nurse was written transferred out of L&D.

Now remarried, my husband was there when his son was born, felt it was a life-changing experience, and gave him a new appreciation for the struggle life makes in the beginning. He is a fabulous father and I think it was something he shouldn't be denied. He is grateful to have been part of his son's birth.

I do think it is ironic that a "male" physician came up with this idea that men should not be present for the births of their children.

Why? Because I have worked with physicians for over 20 years...many have tremendous egos...and I could easily see that perhaps this particular physician probably wants to be the alpha male in the room, the shining star, and the sole decision-maker. It is ironic because his own assertion also undermines his own presence in L&D. Maybe he'd be happier in proctology.

It would be a man who came up with this. Make him give birth and then see what his opinions are.

I definitely think the father should be allowed to be present for the birth of his child.

The OB you quoted was around in the scary 20s-era birth room, when women were lined up in sterile beds in an unwelcoming room, knocked out, and the baby was delivered by imposing nurses who knew something wasn't right in the process. Back in the men-in-waiting-rooms-smoking-cigars days, women were essentially herded and had their children extracted from them.

It's up to the parents, whatever they want and is comfortable for them.

I'm kinda glad to hear this. I hope to start a family soon and really don't want my husband in the delivery room with me. The second our child is born I want him there, but not during. I'd like to leave a little romance between us for after the child is here--all the blood, guts and vomit (and most of the time, the bowel movement mothers have during the process), as cutiecake pointed out, would horrify me if he were there. Also, if you pay attention to the quote, the OB is saying that he feels only a female midwife should be in the room when a child is born--meaning that he himself should not be there either. This happens any time a midwife is used--an OB is only called in in case of an emergency.

Jayde30, I totally support that for you if it's what you and your husband want. What I don't like is it being blanket advice for all women.

I had a very long labor that ended in c-section (long story short, it was due to too much medical intervention). My husband was there for all of it, and it made him more attracted to me, because (he says) he saw my strength, which deepened his admiration for me. I think that's sweet He's also not grossed out by body stuff (like seeing my uterus during the c-section!) - laboring with our baby didn't effect how he sees me sexually, because it is two wildly different things.

That said, a lot of hubbub during labor only adds to the tension of the laboring woman, which isn't conducive to progress. I don't think having the father in the room has to add to the chaos though. For me, having him there was calming. He's an advocate for me, which takes a burden off, and he knows to remain calm and keep the volume low.

Of course he should! It takes 2 to make a baby and to leave him out of welcoming the child to the world is cruel. Unless the dad is genuinely making things uncomfortable, he deserves to be there.

"That said, a lot of hubbub during labor only adds to the tension of the laboring woman, which isn't conducive to progress."

For some women. For others, having the "hubbub" helps them. This is why I dislike blanket statements.

Should have said "me" instead of "laboring woman".

I enjoyed having my hubby there both times. I wouldn't want some strange midwife, I either never met or met only a handful of times, with me.

My husband was in the room and only him. He was wonderful when I was scared. I think I would have been more stressed out if he hadn't been there. Especially if my mother had been!