Rather than "Dad is not Mom" perhaps it would be better to say that not all parents fit a mold, Mom or Dad. Not all moms are content to gaze lovingly at their baby for hours on end, and stereotypes like that contribute to mothers feeling inadequate. Not that comment alone, just a contributing factor. A better message to send would be that in conjunction with following your intuition, follow your heart. Much like I get flack for having my children attached to me constantly during the first few months, other mothers get flack for "not being attached enough." It's all ok, you do what fits your needs and your baby's needs. Heck, Dad may be the one who wants to sit on the couch and gaze at the baby endlessly while Mom's the one who wants to show affection in other ways.

I wish I'd known, going into my first time giving birth that I had quite a bit more say-so than I thought. I wish I'd known how intense the love and the hormones (and sometimes the guilt) would be - especially at first. I definitely agree with the advice to ask for and accept help. In addition to keeping a journal, I started a book of letters to my baby when I was pregnant, and I still update it on special occasions. I'm pregnant now for the second time and am doing the same thing for this baby. I have a few letters my parents wrote to me in my baby book, and they mean so much to me.

I second the say so during birth. I let them push me around because I was scared and my husband and mother weren't helping me, so I just gave in. I'm not doing that this time, and will be much more vocal.

I wish I hadn't felt guilty that my milk never came in because of the trauma and blood loss during labor. I didn't think formula was the end of the world, i was just disappointed that i wasn't able to do what I had originally planned.

I wish i knew how cool it really was going to be and how much i could love someone i had never met. I was not that happiest pregnant woman because it was not part of my "life plan" but I am very happy the way things turned out. Some days are always better than others and i think that is very important to remember to collect the memories one by one.

But I do wish i would have treasured those early days a bit more but i was so tired and stressed its good to know I wasn't alone. I think as woman we have improved as mothers because we are not afraid to admit failure, we have forged camaraderie in our not so great mommy moments. And yes registry's are great but babies come out with their own ideas of what they like and do not like. Mine cannot stand to be without his hands, and has been like that since the 3rd hour he was born, so swaddling was a bust.

Could not find a suitable section so I written here, how to become a moderator for your forum, that need for this?