Having a baby is a big decision no matter how a couple goes about it, but do some methods take more thought than others? In last night's season premiere of Brothers & Sisters, Kevin and Scottie look into starting a family via surrogate and learn the best case scenario costs $137,000. While Kevin is ready to take out a credit line on their condo to get the process going, Scottie experiences cold feet reading hundreds of pages of paperwork. Surrogacy involves outside parties as well as legal contracts, so it's understandable that Scottie wants time to figure out if he's ready for fatherhood. Do you think certain methods of having a baby, be it surrogacy or adoption, take more serious consideration than nature's way?
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When initially starting to try, same-sex couples do have more to consider. Unlike straight couples who just go into the bedroom, same-sex couples need to do more.
1Speaking from experience ...
Female same-sex couples need to get a referral from their family doctor to go to a fertility clinic (and not all doctors agree to this as it happened to a friend of mine). Once there they need to be monitored each day of their conception cycle. In Ontario, that means a daily visit for blood word and internal ultrasound started at day 3 of your cycle.
Female same-sex couples also have to look into sperm donors that can be known, unknown, or ID release. Sperm costs are about $700 per vile. Keep in mind that each vile of sperm is actually only about an 1/8 of an ejaculation that a straight person would normally receive.
If it doesn't work the first time, and it often doesn't, this process needs to be repeated for each attempt even including expensive fertility drugs.
And the fertility clinic you end up at matters too. The first we went to was like a cattle-call and they didn't really care if it worked or not. They followed the science of it only and didn't alter their approach, not even after 9 tries!
The second clinic we went to, they actually took time to really study the cycle. It worked after two tries there but almost two years and $15000 later.
Now I know that straight people can have fertility issues too sometimes but they get a whole year of "free, at home attempts" to conceive before they ever need set foot in a fertility clinic.
This seems like such a silly question. Of course some methods take more consideration. Adoption, surrogacy, IVF, etc, all require a ton of paperwork, for starters. You can't just say "let's go have sex" and be done with it.
2It takes more preparation, money, etc., but I don't think it should take more consideration in the sense of considering whether or not you're ready to be a parent.
3I agree with lilkimbo. The consideration to have a child is the same no matter what method you're using to achieve your goal.
4I think any method a couple decides to bring a child into the world needs the same consideration.......
5Without a doubt, alternative means requires more consideration. Not only do you have to take into consideration becoming a parent, but you have to decide how to go about it, how many hoops you want to jump through, what methods you can afford, etc.
And obviously alternative methods don't involve accidental pregnancies that still allow a person or couple to decide if they're ready to become a parent.
6Surrogacy takes quite a bit of additional consideration, both financial and emotional. Surrogates and Intended Parents need to build a foundation of trust based on communication and understanding, to ensure a successful and satisfying journey. If they do, it can be an amazing life-changing journey for all to bring a baby into the world together. Delivering a baby girl to my cousin and his wife was the most fulfilling moment of my life!
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