I can't speak from experience, but I do have intentions. I think you need to be more flexible when you have kids. You can't go out to a bar every night and stay out for hours. You can't just leave your partner for a week and leave them to deal with the children. You don't have to give up everything, though. Perhaps giving up the late nigh binge drinking is a part of getting older in general. Some people say that when you have kids you can't travel, you can't go to museums or art galleries or ever out to dinner. They say you have to change your house to fit your baby and maybe even give up some things you had -- like dogs, or certain furniture. My parents and my boyfriend's parents beg to differ. He traveled his entire life. So did I. My mom got into an argument with my grandma because she (grandma) swore up and down that I would break things, ruin furniture, etc., and my mom said that I would learn to adapt to this life, and nothing would change. I adapted, never broke a single thing, never got seriously hurt. We always went out to dinners and breakfasts, and people would compliment my parents on our behavior. We always traveled, like I said -- and never had screaming fits and never were disaster kids. If my BF had the same life, and our parents were similar -- it.s obviously in how you raise them. My mom says all the time we never hindered their lives. They even had time alone! Twice a week they'd go on a date.

If you feel like you have to "give up" things to have a baby..don't have one. Babies are supposed to be an addition to your life, not a human that keeps you from doing the things you want to do. If you feel resentment because you can't go out and party all the time -- take a look at how old you are and realize it would change anyway. If you feel pissed because you have to get up in the middle of the night for a while, fine. Just don't have a baby until you can get over the fact that SOME habits have to change. Not all, but some.

To a certian degree your life after children does change. It inevitable because life is always changing! That doesn't mean it has to be a bad thing. Like Chrstne said, it's part of growing up. My husband and I don't go out to fancy meals and to the bar with our children, those things are reserved for adult time. No we don't drive super fancy cars, but minivans and practical family cars. Does it really make a difference? We wanted to have our children and wanted our lives to change the ways that they have. If you don't want your life to change, don't have the kids. You can certianly travel and have an exciting fulfilling life with children. Your life is what you make it-some of us chose not to travel and go to museums, but we probably wouldn't have done those things before kids anyways. There's always the option to comprimise-you can travel kids friendly places and got to children's museums. You might be surprised how interesting art is and how wonderful life looks through the eyes of children.

I think its kind of sad that bars need to even post the fact that you shouldn't bring strollers and babies in there.

I think it all goes back to the point that, while many people are very enlightened and open-minded, like the first poster, many are not. You simply can't know what it's like to have a child until you have one. So for those people that call themselves "non-breeders" making judgments against those of us that are: I wonder what you would do in our shoes? I suspect many of those vocal enough to complain would be singing a different tune if they were (shudder to think) parents.

i think it would be really sad for people to not "change" or evolve on their journey through life. growing and changing are a part of the natural progression in life, people that do not do this with big life changes(such as children) are going to have a hard time somewhere down the road and i feel sorry for their children...

What exactly do people think parents should have to give up? I can see not taking the baby for a night out on the town, but what's wrong with bringing a baby to happy hour at a bar to meet up with some girls to chat? No museums, traveling, etc? Yah right why? You don't become a hermit just because you're a parent. You just do/plan things differently.

i don't think it's a part of growing up {as a few of you mom's said}. i know many parents who are not grown up, and honestly the "grown up" thing to do is wait until you're ready and wanting the responsibilities and changes that come with having children.

whats wrong with taking a baby to happy hour at a bar to meet up with some girls to chat? Many things. No one under 21 includes babies. I don't see anything wrong with meeting with the girls, but it should be at a baby friendly and stroller friendly place.

phatE, I don't think they were really saying that having children is part of "growing up" for everyone. They were talking about evolving and changing as you go through various stages in life (whether having children is one of those stages or not) as being part of "growing up." One should never stop learning from life's challenges, including parenting (if that is something that enters your life). It is my opinion that you have to decide what works for you and your family. There are many different paths to a fulfilling life for both kids and adults. As far as maintaining ones pre-baby life, some people change a lot when they have kids, and some not as much. This can be good or bad depending on who you are, your lifestyle before children, and what you want in life going forward. Once children come into your life, whether they were planned or not, you must consider how your choices will affect them. You have to not only meet their needs, but you must also take care of yourself, for your own satisfaction AND to be a good example of a mentally/physically healthy person for your kid(s). You have to find a healthy balance between being your own person and being a good parent. It ISN'T easy, but it's something to strive for.

Aimeeo, do you realize what goes into making places baby/stroller friendly? Especially in places w/ little space available.

Abilew, the point of the "non-breeders" is that they are not in your shoes for a reason. They realize that they would have to make lifestyle changes that they don't want to make, so they have chosen not to have children. If you think you face judgment, you should think about what it's like to be in the shoes of those who are childless by choice.

#10 - Aimeeo was basically agreeing with you. She was telling another commenter that it was unreasonable to take a baby to happy hour and that the women should meet up at some other place that is already baby/stroller friendly. She wasn't saying that a bar should make itself stroller friendly.