When it comes to child custody, moms tend to have an edge on the competition. Judges often find them more capable and sometimes, dads agree and settle for either joint custody or visitation rights. However, there are cases where a father fights tooth and bone for his offspring and can win the court's decision if he shows all the right stuff.
One couple came to the end of their marital road and both decided their three boys would be better off living with the mother. As the dad moved south for a job, the mama found herself refereeing wrestling matches, fighting migraines and suffering panic attacks. At the point of a mental breakdown, she relinquished custody and shipped the young lads off to their father where he would raise them into fine young men.
While some might see the mother's actions as selfish, others may say she put the children's needs before her own. Would you give up custody of your babies if you knew their father was a more competent parent?
Dolce & Gabbana
If you are unfit to be the custodial parent, then you should be able to say "this is what is best for my kids" and do it. I am sure it would be hard, but if I truly felt that I was incapable of raising my kids in the best way possible, or that my ex/child's father would give them a better environment, then I would do whatever was necessary. That is totally unselfish. That is one of the most selfless things a person can do. You never give up custody out of hatred or out of selfishness. You do it out of immense love.
1I'm sure it would be a very difficult decision, but if you didn't think you could handle them then joint or full custody should be given over to the other parent.
2when you can't do the job required, it's someone elses turn.
3I don't think it's selfish at all - I think it's the oppisite: she realized what was best for her children and acted on that .
4This sort of thing happened to a friend of mine, she had custody, but after a car accident was unable to care for her boys, so she and her ex came to an agreement with no messy custody battles or child support, they would just care and support the boys as needed. Seeing that the two parents are still friends probably makes this situation easier.
5Christine, I wish what you said (You never give up custody out of hatred or out of selfishness. You do it out of immense love.) was the absolute truth, but in my experience it wasn't.
A year after my mother remarried, she gave up custodial custody of myself (aged 13) and my brother (aged 12) after 5 years of joint custody. She didn't know but we were on the stairs and overheard the conversation with our father. She just decided one day that she couldn't parent us any more, that "she couldn't handle us." Meanwhile my 16 year old stepsister continued to live with her and my step father. In a lot of ways, I saw her picking her new husband over her kids.
I ceased to have a relationship with her at all until I was in college and she had divorced my step father. Thankfully, my brother and I had an amazing father who stepped up. But her decision has left life long scars, effecting my self esteem and even my ability to accept that I am lovable. I have been in counseling for years to address some of these issues and have been on depression medication. Looking back I know being raised by my father and not by my mother was a good thing for me, but it doesn't hurt any less.
Maybe from my mother's point of view it was selfless, but from where I sit, it was selfish.
6If I were unable to raise my child for physical, mental or financial reasons, and I knew that their father was more than adequate to take over, I'd give them over. Would it be an easy decision? I doubt it. But my responsibility as a parent would be to act in the best interest of my child, even if that means that they would not be with me.
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