Parents aim to raise their children to be productive members of society, so when kids start pitching public fits or socking playmates at the park, most moms and dads step in to guide their offspring toward more positive interactions. From Kate Gosselin to Alec Baldwin, everyone has an opinion on the proper way to discipline. One trend that is increasingly popular with today's parents is time-out.
A time-out removes a child from a situation so they can reflect on their behavior. It also serves as a cooling off period. How and when that time-out is taken depends on which philosophy a parent chooses to follow. Here are two common techniques:
1-2-3 Magic: Dr. Thomas Phelan uses the time-out as the end-result of a warning system. According to his theory, a parent warns a child with, "That's 1", "That's 2", and then "That's 3 and time-out" over the course of 30 minutes. If the tot reaches the end stage, without emotion the parent removes the child from their current environment and places them in their room for one minute per year of age. When the time-out is over, the child is free to go on with their activities — no apology or conversation about the misbehavior is necessary.
Naughty Step: This method, made famous by Supernanny Jo Frost, tells parents to confront their child's misbehavior when it happens, explain why it is wrong, and warn them not to do it again. If the tot repeats the action, he is placed on a step on the staircase or a mat for one minute per year of age with a short explanation as to why he was put there. When the time-out is over, the parent should get on the child's level and explain the misbehavior one more time, ask for an apology, and then praise the child for their understanding.
Do you use time-out with your children, and if so, which method?
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Patrizia Pepe
i have not had to use time out yet but would do it if my daughter was misbehaving to the point that i thought it was needed. as for a method, i think "super nanny's" method seems like the correct approach for me. as an educator and a mother i feel that it is important to tell children what they are doing wrong so that they are then able to correct the "bad" behavior. if you just put them in timeout without explanation they will not understand why they are there and/or how to not be there again.
1And this is why we have such bad kids nowdays........they all think they are entitled to everything, and no kids have manners anymore.............KIDS NEED TO BE SPANKED!!!!!
2I don't agree that all kids need to be spanked, as it's kinda hard to tell your kid "Do not hit your brother" and reinforce that by, um, hitting him. My son is only 2 and a half months old, so I haven't used any disciplinary tactics yet, but I intend to use Supernanny's method.
3i agree with super nannys method and spanking...while it is hard to enforce not hitting, on rare occasion a 2 year old needs a spanking. mind you it is to hurt their feelings not their bottom, but anyone going through terrible twos knows that sometimes time out just doesn't work!! but way more often than not time out is very effective. we even bought the cutest little floor mat that says "time out" : ) everyone should always remember that different things work for different children. -Jess
4i agree with logab/jess
Timeout doesnt always work. And yes there are way too many bad kids out there! BRATS!
5Time-out is okay, but a new book, Don't Swear with Your Mouth Full! When conventional discipline fails unconventional children, finds that time-limited punishments are ineffective in the long run with the most headstrong kids. Think about it this way. We only punish kids to create motivation, but for what? To breathe in and out for x number of minutes? No. We want them to make better choices. Now, we are favoring "behavior-limited discipline" which means consequences are in effect until the child "shows" they are sorry. Think about it like a working time-out. If a baby demands milk, we don't say, "No milk for 5 minutes". We say, "I didn't hear the magic word!" It's a punishment, but it allows the headstrong kid to have control and it requires them to strengthen a competing behavior to get out of the punishment. This makes it easier on the parent and makes the kid a better behaved child.
6My son is very headstrong so spanking and 5 minute timeouts don't work for him. I just started leaving him in time out for 30 minutes. Many people says that that time frame is way to long. But to my surpise, it works for him. After 15 minutes, he relaxes himself and stay in the corner for the remaining time. After that, he is a good boy. In combination wtih that technique, I try to keep him occupied and entertained. Also, I try to distract him when he gets frustrated to discourage him from misbehaving. So far, that seems to be my magic pill for his temper tantrums.
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