Nowhere in here does it say how the husband feels. I hope the family tradition isn't of great importance to him and it's being dismissed. If it's a mutual decision, he should be the one to discuss it with and explain it to his family.

What Greggie said. Completely.

Yeah that to the above.

I'm 36weeks with a boy who (may) be the 5th in a line of Jameses. I personally don't see the issue- I respect the tradition if only for what it means to my husband.

I wondered about how the husband felt as well. Hate to do the me too thing but I agree with Greggie.

I have to agree with Greggie as well. DH is the III'rd, but he has never liked it. I didn't want our son to be the IVth, but it wasn't an issue because DH had decided he wasn't going to carry on the tradition, and it was decided early on. While we maintained the middle name, our son has a unique (to the family) first name.

We were just upfront with our family as to our choice of name (we didn't disclose the name before our son was born). While there may have been some disappointment that there wasn't another "Charles" (what nick name would we have used, Chuck, Chip and Chet are used...as a friend suggested - Chut? ) I think the sting was taken away when they realized we used the same middle name.

But, really, the husband should be on board. Call me sexist, but I let DH ultimately decide our son's name since it was his son. We mutually came up with a list of names that we mutually liked and at the end of the day, I left the final choice (from the list) up to him. If he had chosen Charles, while it wasn't my favorite, I would have been fine with it as well.

Thank goodness he didn't; our son doesn't look at all like a Charles.

I have a very unique name for a girl, it's Timmi. Though I like it now I hated it growing up. With our daughter our husband and I agreed to lean towards the more traditional names, and we are doing the same with our next born as well. The father's input is very important. If we do have a boy we will probably have is middle name be my father's name or his father's name. My husband's father died when he was 5 so I feel that would be important to him, also my father's name has been carried down as well though my dad is only the 2nd, the first in line was a wonderful man that even though I met I was too young to remember him.

I'm with the Greggie crowd.

I also agree with Greggie. My husband is a Jr. and if we have a son he wants to continue that tradition and i have no problem with that.

I also agree with Greggie. How does the husband feel about it? Is he even aware of his wifes feelings? The naming should be a mutual decision.

If your husband isn't okay with it, then there needs to be some form of compromise. If he wants to carry on the tradition and you don't, you can have the first name as whatever you want, and John to honor your husband and his family, or maybe go with the 3 name crowd Whatever John Patrick Blah. You both have to agree no matter what the circumstance, because if either of you feel "cheated" or disrespected, you bet this will be a cause of more fights in the future.

if your husband is on your side, get him to tell them
or don't tell them at all
just name your baby whatever you choose and let them know
and when they ask (if they do) why he's not the IV just say you wanted something unique
and make his middle name John if you feel like that would help

my dude is a 3rd and hes never shown an intrest in keeping it going he said i can pick the names
hes a charles and hates it we all call him something else

You could always name him John Patrick and call him whatever you want, but it's you and your husband's decision.

It's up to you *and* your husband, and both of you should have equal input. My dad was a third, and my brother has the same first name as my dad (and grandad, etc), but my parents gave him a different middle name. Since he was about 7 or 8, my brother has been calling himself "the fourth". He didn't go as far as to change anything legally, but I think he would have really liked to be a part of the family tradition. And, all four men (brother, dad, grandad, great grandad) went by the same name, no nicknames, and it's been just fine.

Definitely, the dad needs input - how does he feel about it? It's got to be a mutual decision.

My boyfriend and I are a few years from marriage, let alone kids, but I already know that the first son will be Steven - his name is Steven, and so is his father's. (Their middle names are different, though, so there's no junior/II/IV issue ever coming into play.) Funnily enough, though, MY father's name is also Steven (as is my uncle's, my great-grandfather's ... yeah, I'll be related to a ton of Stevens in the future!), so it's an easy way to honor everyone in one fell swoop! =]

I agree with those suggesting an extra first name which will be the name you call him!

I agree with those suggesting an extra first name which will be the name you call him!

This is a tricky situation! One option you might want to consider is using a name that has the same or similar meaning to John. John means "God is gracious." Maybe another religious name would show your in-laws that you respect their family traditions without locking you into a name you'll be unhappy with.

You could also use a variation of John or Patrick. Here are some ideas--

INTERNATIONAL VARIATIONS OF JOHN:
Gianni - Italian
Evan - Welsh
Hans - German
Sean - Irish
Ivan - Russian
Ian - Scottish
Giovanni - Italian
Johan - Dutch, French, Swedish

INTERNATIONAL VARIATIONS OF PATRICK:
Patrix - French
Padraic - Irish
Patrizio - Italian
Peyton - Scottish

Check out the book Baby Names Made Easy for more ideas. The book is organized by the name's meanings -- so there's a chapter devoted to names with Religious meanings, another for names that mean "love" and so on -- 49 chapters in all. I hope that gives you some ideas. Good luck!