Let them have some candy.

At the end of the festivities, spread out all their candy and let them each choose 3 or 5 or 10 pieces they want. Toss the rest.

Restrict it when everyone around them want it and you'll just be putting it on a pedestal and make them crave it obsessively.

When I was a kid my cousin couldn't have candy and it was all he could think about. I could have candy, and it was never a big deal.

I agree with your husband, but I don't think it's right for him to be dismissive of your feelings either. I think you guys should reach a compromise.

My Mom did this to us. She didn't allow us to trick or treat usually, and if she DID, she confiscated the candy right away, gave the majority of it away and let us have only 2 or 3 pieces. Same way with soda pop.

When I was in high school and had money of my own, we bought candy by the bagful and horded it. I have a HUGE problem with my sweet tooth, and to this day, Soda is my drink of choice. I've mostly outgrown the candy thing (I sincerely HATE chocolate) but I can't kick the soda habit, and I'm fairly sure that it's because things like this were always taboo when I was a kid.

I don't think it's a good idea. I think if you let them go and then put the candy up after and let them have it a A LITTLE at a time (Don't give it away, let them have it even if it takes a year) then it will create a much healthier relationship with candy for them.

I'm not an expert though by any means and this is just my experience with it. Good luck, being a parent means making hard choices that confuse you.

I will say though, that I don't restrict my boys at all, and neither one has a huge sweet tooth. They also prefer milk over soda. My oldest in fact, if you put his favorite candy bar in front of him next to a banana, he'll take the banana every time.

You guys definitely need to come up with a compromise you can both live with.

My husband and I will not allow our kids to eat the garbage passed out at Halloween from each house, but we knew how much we loved the holiday as kids. I'm fine with anything sweet in an organic form, so when my kids return from trick-or-treating they're getting sweet goodie bags with all sorts of organic goodness. (I'm not talking healthbars! Think cookies with organic cane sugar, organic jellybeans, gooooood chocolate, etc.)

I know to the average American that plan sounds crazy, but I want to help my kids learn how to have fun, enjoy the festivities, and not trash their bodies in the process.

I agree with the pedestal theory... if you keep the sweet treats out of the picture, somehow kids seem to place value in them.

My brothers and sisters and I would trick-or-treat for hours. When we got home we had 2 days to eat the best of our candy. After that my dad would weigh it and buy it from us at a certain price per pound. That way we didn't sit around eating crazy amounts of candy, but we didn't really feel like they were taking it from us. He'd take our candy to work and give it to the secretaries to give out.

Looking back, it seems like a great compromise between his ideals of health and our desires.

how about just telling them that they may eat 4 peices of candy, or 5, and they must save the rest for later and they may have one a day or something? I let my kids have a candy a day when they used to do trick or treating and their bags lasted 6 months,LOL...we never has cavities and I just made sure they brushed their teeth before bed

When I was little, I never ate more than 4 or 5 pieces anyway because I was always the saver, being sure I had more for a rainy day and I always forgot about it! I would let them go trick or treating to 5 or 6 houses and let them have that candy, I think if you take it away after they have it, you may not get a very good response.

Handing out candy is so gross to me, and it sends a terrible message to kids. I'm handing out party favors and little trinkets instead. Give your kids a couple pieces of candy, I guess, but I'd encourage them to focus more on having fun than collecting trash food.

At my house we would do like justanerd suggested- ration the candy over MONTHS, eating just one piece (if that) a day. It wasn't something regulated by our parents, we just kept it and had been taught to indulge only *sometimes*, so we if we wanted a sweet treat we'd ge into our stash for a piece, but if not, it just stayed in our dresser drawer.

mommy dearest is mean!

There's NO reason to be so harsh! Halloween is awesome, let them enjoy!

My parents always let us have a few pieces of candy on Halloween night, then the rest went into a bowl that they kept on top of the fridge where we couldn't reach. That way, my parents had control over when and how much we were eating it.

We also had to give some to Dad.

In hindsight, I think that explains why my candy didn't last past a couple of weeks...

sorry I meant say no to candy is mean, mommy dearest is cool

I give out play-doh or some cute little toys most of the time. I'm the 'play-doh house'.

Let the kids enjoy that day and have some candy. After they have collected their candy (and after you check everything to make sure it is safe) give them a set amount of pieces to eat that night. Then store the rest in a bowl or jar someplace high. And on occassions when they have been behaving or just because, give them 2 or 3 pieces now & then. It will last awhile and it is a way to keep them from going overboard on sweets.

when i was little i could go trick-or-treating but to keep me away from too much sugar at the end of the night we would sit down and they would go through the candy with me and take away the majority to give "bad witch" because if she didn't have lots of candy she would take away Halloween next year. it kept me from too much candy and made sure Halloween came back every year

We would go trick or treating and then at the end of the night my parents would take our bags and first look through it and then stash it away. Each night after dinner we would get a chance to pick 2-3 pieces and then give the bag back. That way we didn't gourge ourselves on candy and bounce around the house.

Don't be such a sourpuss...let the kids enjoy their one night without you taking away their candy. Their teeth are not going to go bad just because they eat a few peices of candy or more. Make sure they brush their teeth afterwards. As well ^FIRST^ make sure you check the candy for safety, because some people out there are crazy/mean while smiling in the face of your children. Make sure the candy is NOT open and NOT homemade.

Other than that, don't be the only one in your circle of the neighborhood that doesn't want to participate in the games and fun for the night. Try enjoying yourself too, dress up, give some candy, and lighten up.

Let them have the candy. It is okay to indulge children in a little sugar and chocolate every once in awhile. Candy is one of life's small pleasures. Don't set it up to be more important than it is by making it forbidden fruit. Candy isn't evil. Overindulgence and gluttony are.

You can control how much candy, how often. One small piece a day won't kill them, especially if it is only for a few weeks after Halloween.

What are you afraid of? Obesity? Cavities? One can be controlled with moderation, the other with a 2 minute appointment with a toothbrush.

The poster asks if she should allow trick or treating and then confiscate the candy, or not allow them to go at all.... giving the impression that actually consuming the candy is out of the question.

Virtually all candy contains sugar (sucrose, cornsyrup, or HFCS), color (chemical food coloring additives), and flavor (artificial chemical flavors).

This mother sounds smart to me, why allow that stuff even once?

In S. Korea they found melamine in Nestle and Mars products.
http://www.reuters.com/article/healthNews/idUSTRE4931CA20081004?pageNumb...

for godssake - Halloween is ONCE A YEAR - you want to deprive them of having candy the rest of the year then go ahead. But let kids be kids! Mykie raises a good point - if you're deprived of something to that extreme, then you'll most likely make up for it in the future and in a bad way. My mom used to ration the candy ...

Akpril... i think that's a terrific compromise and it worked well for your family. and while our lil guy is too young for the candy aspect of this now... his (first) b'day is the 29th so we will be having hallween parties for the rest of his life, and i really can't imagine NOT allowing some candy or sweets for all the kids... i only feed him organic foods, so i'm sure i'll be able to find some organic chocolates and healthy options, but i guess it's something we'll have to really tackle as he gets older.

Lilruck, you're way too extreme.

Of course candy contains sugar. That's what it's made of. You're body is perfectly capable of digesting it. Get a grip.

sorry *your body not you're

Geesh. Lighten up. Let the kids be kids and enjoy a fun holiday.

i'm so sick of overparenting
my parents used to let us keep our huge bowls of candy in our rooms and if we ate it all in one sitting and puked all over, fine, it was our choice and our lesson to learn. turned out, we were all hoarders who would hide it and eat minimal amounts per day for about a year, but stil...
just let them have the fun and explain to them candy isnt good for their bodies so they can have a bit, give some to daddy, and maybe share some with other kids or something
but don't ruin a fun holiday because you think sugar is the devil

Hithatsmybike, I am trying to support the mother who asked for advice, not be judged by you.

We do half-candy and half-trail mix. My kids get sick of store bought candy anyway since we make a lot of our own treats.
They always give the Halloween surplus away to relatives anyway.

I do think it's pretty irresponsible in a time when the obesity and type2 diabetic rates in the US are so high to treat responsible and accountable parents as evil...why let 'live a little' advice cause you to pump high fructose into your children so THEY have to worry about the cancer later. The biggest part of being a parent is thinking for the child not as the child.

My Mom never let me have my halloween candy (or any candy throughout the year) and it was so awful, and TO THIS DAY i'm obsessed about having candy at halloween, and I have such a sweet tooth now. I think your plan will really backfire. if you don't make a big deal about it, then they won't either, and you just can ration their candy. i was so sad after halloween, and i'll never forget it. I won't do the same thing to my kids.

Ok, you really should let the kids participate or they will feel so left out of what promises to be a fun time. You can provide treats you consider appropriate for all the children. You can trade with your children, take away the candy you deem inappropriate for some of their favorite treats you approve of. You can talk to the other parents in the cul-de-sac about your concerns (a lot of people would be fine giving out raisins or other treats). Even though your children are young, if you explain to them that candy is traditional, but in your house you prefer healthier treats and ask them to trade you the candy for fun stuff or give it to others I think that would be best. Don't just take it away and don't ban it either.

IMHO the candy alone is not a good enough reason to deprive any child from having fun on Halloween.Dressing up in their costumes and going Trick or Treating is the best part of it..You have full control over the amount they do get to enjoy(they are kind of young to be eating too much candy) and you can choose to either toss it out or give the rest away.No harm done.Taking it away from them entirely will only make them want it that much more.The end results will be is that you'll have 2 very happy kids with some great memories on your hands.

But for goodness sakes don't be a freakin SCROOGE!!

I love CoralAmber's ideas as a great compromise.

Oh, not to mention, at that age if you let them pick out four pieces from your selection (it'll take 30 mins. ) and then put it completely out of sight without them seeing it...they forget entirely anyway. Then give it away if you don't want them to have it.
Remember...don't listen to other parents just because they had a child...a crackhead can have a baby...doesn't mean they know how to properly take care of it...Ok? LOL

we used to go trick or treating, bring home our pillowcases of candy (let mom and dad pick out thier favorites, dads was snickers moms was bit-o-honey) and mom kept the bags in her room, we were aloud to pick a couple pieces everyday till it was gone.

None of us are obese, I have never had a cavity and we got to enjoy our hard work every year!

i remember being able to pick a few pieces a night.... but i also dont remember pillowcases FULL of candy... (i'm moving to caterpillargirls hood). the real fun of halloween imho is the costume making and and having fun w/friends... and then when you get old enough... getting a couple of cans of barbasol, rigging the top so it wld squirt a coupla feet... a sock full of starch (and a potato) to keep the others far enough away so you wouldnt get creamed... dressed as a hobo so your clothes wouldnt get wrecked! (never did the eggs thing tho)

I hope to god that when I become a parent I don't turn into a overprotective obsessive SUGAR IS BAD! CANDY IS BAD! MY KIDS CAN ONLY EAT THE FOOD I GROW IN MY GARDEN! mother.

amen to that runningesq

ditto!

fructose DOES NOT CAUSE CANCER wtf.

my children can have their fructose.. and the only thing I'll really be anal about is that they know what it looks like.

Maybe that's how the boyfriend & I will work it: we won't let them have it unless they can draw the structure of a compound on the label.

oh my poor offspring, the nerdy parents they'll have!

LET THEM EAT THE DARN CANDY AND ATTEND THE PARTY!!!! geez. Halloween is THE best day of the year - when you can be whatever you want AND eat all the candy until you feel sick. it's not a horrible night - stop thinking about it and just enjoy it ... LOOK FORWARD TO IT! get the kiddie's costumes ready and prepare for the party. I LOVE HALLOWEEN and now that i'm an adult i love to decorate my entire front lawn and house and watch the kid's expressions as they approach the door for their candy. what a fabulous evening for little ones!

My mom didn't like my sisters and I eating all that candy either. She'd make coupons for things she wouldn't mind us doing, and we'd trade in our candy for the coupons. We'd pick out our favorite three pieces to save for whenever we wanted, and then bargain with the rest. For a few candy bars, we could veto eating something we didn't want to (peas were a favorite) for one night, or we could stay up 15 minutes past our bedtime, or she'd let us wear her lipstick or her perfume. If we traded all our candy in, she'd buy us a new barbie or some other toy we'd been wanting. That way we could still have fun on Halloween with our friends, feel like we were in control of our prized candy and we weren't being ordered by our mean mommy to give it all up, and in the end, we'd often get something that would last longer than a Milky Way bar.

offtherecord, what an awesome idea!

let them participate in the fun! hearing the noise outside while they are stuck inside restricted seems unfair. And I know a lot of food banks, hospitals, and schools (I know every school in our district did one) do candy drives that where they collect the candy to make little treats for families who they donate Thanksgiving meals to or to children in the hospital that can't go trick or treating, so rather then tossing it find somewhere to donate it and let your kids participate. I don't think you are wrong for wanting to keep your kids from over indulging in candy but as others have mentioned I have a friend who was never allowed to have candy as a child and when she became old enough her parents couldn't restrict her anymore she became a self-proclaimed candy-a-holic which she attributes to force restrictions as a child where as in my house it was around whenever and it was no big thing to us

That really is a great idea Offtherecord!

I agree...it's just a little bit of candy! No harm in letting them have some! It's not like you're letting them eat their whole bag of loot in one night.

i have no suggestions for you......just that you and your husband need to find some kind of compromise....so that you will both come out somewhat happy. since marriage is a partnership....no reason for one parent or the other to call all the shots.....sit down and point blank ask.....what can we do to make this a fun holiday for the kids? what are your suggestions....and here are some of mine.....LISTEN to each other...DO NOT get offensive...you are both entitled to your own opinion.....you will find a way to make it work for all of you....good luck and have fun!!!!