of course its a do! Traditionally its only suppose to be for your first child but honestly its a party with friends and family to celebrate the pregnant mommy!

i had one for my second child and so have many friends of mine.

i think its tacky...even if your children are spaced far apart... just my opinion...

in my fiance's family they only do one for the first born and then you were on your own, not really, which was weird for me at the beginning, because everyone i knew had one for every kid they had, i never had one, i just got everything the child needed from my mother, grandfather and uncle, i would have loved to have one, my mother figured since my sister didn't want one it wouldn't be fair, which wasn't my fault she didn't want one, got everything i needed anyway

I feel as if it is definately a do, but you should think about what you need. If you just had a baby within the past few years, I don't think its right to expect people to get you nice, big gifts (such as strollers or high chairs). But maybe smaller gifts, if your baby is a different gender than the first, maybe a clothes and diaper party?

i am throwing one next weekend for a good friend of mine.. and my boyfriends best friend. his girlfriend has a 4 year old. but the father is out of the picture. real casual. men are invited, we don't know her well. just trying to keep it casual.

Its a dont! Im not buying gifts for the same person b/c the want to pop out a child every two years. She may have a lil celebration but no gifts.

If the mom wants one, it's a do. I didn't want one for my second, but by the time we had my third it was five years later and we'd gotten rid of a bunch of baby stuff. And when she came out and we realized it was a girl, we desperately needed clothes. *lol*

I know that according to formal etiquette it's considered tacky to have a second shower if there's less than five years between babies but I don't care. If mom wants to celebrate, then celebrate. A baby deserves a welcoming committee.

Ehn, it's probably cool if someone else is throwing it or wants to throw it for the mother. (Babies are not cheap... so anything helps sometimes... but then again.. if you're putting yourself out there to get pregnant - you should be able to afford it.)

It is a don't. You can have a get together and have it based as a baby shower. But don't call it one or ppl will bring gifts. Then it would be a definite don't.

I think it depends. If the second one is a different gender or spaced a bit apart, go for it.

I've also heard that instead of a shower you do a sprinkle, where you get just the things you really need. I'm fairly certain my family will do one of those for us when we have another baby.

I'm with you luckyme. I had my daughter a year ago and had a huge shower with 80 ppl (we have a very large family), It included aunts and cousins and family friends.We got everything we need and I made sure it was all gender neutral aside from the clothes. I'm currently pregnant with my second child and we are thinking of a small sprinkle. My sisters, mom, mom-in-law, and our grandmothers. Just a small intimate gathering of close family to celebrate the baby.

no, no, no, i feel it is tacky and in bad taste.

the only time i think it's okay is if the baby is a different sex. otherwise, i think it's tacky and should be unnecessary.

Oh no...tacky, tacky, tacky... years apart, different sexes, whatever... it's a definite no.

I think if people offer to throw you a shower it's ok. Otherwise it is rude and tacky. But if you make it more like a welcome party for the new one I think that would be fine.

Well even if it's your first, it's tacky to demand a shower. It should always be offered by someone else.

Etiquette also mandates that a family member doesn't throw any shower, baby or bridal, which I think is beyond ridiculous.

I am having a second child and a second shower/sprinkle but it is because I am having a girl (had a boy first) and a friend wanted to throw one for me. Otherwise, I probably wouldn't have had one (just because I wasn't sure if it would be acceptable). I did keep most of the big ticket items from the first child so no one will be buying me any of that - mostly we just need girly stuff i.e. clothes, etc. I don't think it's a big deal only because people really like to be a part of the celebration of a new baby and it's fun to have those memories with each child. We threw a second baby shower for my sister-in-law as well and everyone had fun and no one even commented on it being her second shower.

Of course showers are to help the parents out with all the stuff baby needs and wants but really, it's less about the gifts and more about being with loved ones to celebrate a very special occasion in your life - just because you have more than 1 child or they're close in age, doesn't mean that any one is less special than the other. It's just about enjoying the time with your friends and family. I think it's up to each mother to decide what she feels comfortable with - I wouldn't think twice about attending any shower for a friend of mine.

I agree Mel.

Mel475, that's what i think! it's not about the presents, and therefore i don't agree with etiquette that it's "tacky"
obviously, it would be tacky to "demand" as greggy said, a shower, and to ask for presents from people who have gifted you presents before, but would you have a second wedding for a second marriage? yes? and therefore you may recieve a second set of presents from people who had gifted you presents before...so how is it different?

obviously a shower is offered up by somebody else and i see no problem with it. i also see no problem not having one. to each his own.

These days, since so many people findo out the sex of their baby beforehand, many of the gifts you receive for your first child are gender specific. For that reason, my friends and I throw showers for those having a different gender than what they already have. For those having another of the same sex, we still take them out to dinner and give little gifts, but don't throw actual showers.

I think celebrating a new baby is perfectly fine with me. If someone wants to throw it for a mother I am fine with that. I think if you think it is "tacky" than just dont attend. Babies are each special and deserve to be celebrated in someway. If its just a dinner out with your close girlfriends I think that is fine too.

It's a do. If you think it's a don't, then don't go if you're invited. Martini, I prolly wouldn't invite you b/c of your attitude about popping them out. UG. I think it's especially a do if you have a different group of friends who WANT to throw you a shower. Also, for the baby book...poor baby #2 (all you babies out there know what I'm talking about). Baby #1 has all the pictures of everyone celebrating HIS or HER coming, but not the second one. Sheesh...and I'm first born so I have no hard feelings.

I've always thought it was really sad that Emily Post didn't think every baby deserved their own welcome party. I understand not wanting to get the big gift for every baby, but whenever someone has a baby I do my best to shower them with gifts for them and baby, whether it's their first or sixth.

Instead of having a baby shower, why not have a mommy shower and go out with some fam and friends and get your nails done at a nice spa and have lots of virgin margaritas. If they want to bring a gift thats nice, but since it's number two, I think it should be about the mom and how much work she is about to be put through.

Now, if they were really far apart I could see another baby shower. My bro and I are 8 years apart and everyone had a big suprise party for her. If there hadn't been a shower then my bro would have had to wear lots and lots of dresses AND wear clothes from the 80's. Never a good look.

If someone offers, then ok.. but I think where it becomes tacky is for Mom to expect gifts. I also think (sorry if this is harsh) that just because you are having a baby of the opposite sex that you shouldn't feel like you are owed one, or expect one. (You should have registered for gender neutral things for your first.) I also think registering for baby number 2/3/4, etc., is just a bit tacky.

That said, I do have a secret registry- but only so that I can keep track of what I need and don't overspend (like I did with my 1st.)

I only had one shower with my first, and only my family came. This time I'll probably have one at work, and I know my GFs want to do something. For them I have suggested maybe a "stock the freezer" party. Truthfully, I'd love a little spa party WAY more than an actual shower. I also would be SUPER cool with a "meet n' greet shortly after the baby is born (assuming I'm not too tired.) I don't need any gifts, and I also don't believe that gifts are required to "celebrate a baby."

Of course it's ok. It's about celebrating the addition to the family, not about the gifts, those are just a bonus.

In my circle of friends, everyone gets a shower for every baby---it doesn't matter if it's #1, #4, or #7! It's more about spending an afternoon laughing, eating, and talking about family than the gifts. Everyone brings a little something, nothing major. A sleeper or a new set of hooded towels and washcloths is about as elaborate as it gets. None of the gifts are big ticket items, and nobody expects them to be.

Just because a kiddo is down on the totem pole doesn't mean he or she deserves to be ignored. Isn't it nice to have fresh onesies and receiving blankets for your fresh, new baby? I'm happy to shower my friends when they are expecting a new addition.

I think it depends on how far apart the children are, if the new baby will be a different gender, and honestly...how financially "set" the parents are for another baby. My kids were 18 months apart, my first was a girl and 2nd was a boy yet I had no shower for him. I still had lots of things from my first baby and didn't need a whole lot of things other than a double stroller and clothing for a boy. I also had the means to buy things myself too. I would have LOVED another shower though. I think every baby is a reason to celebrate no matter what!

It's a do..... I think every baby should be celebrated whether it's a shower or dinner at a favorite restaurant because they are all blessings.

It's also an opportunity to have your family and close friends together sharing that amazing,joyous experience with you.

i don' like this. a classmate of my middle daughter has a new brother (older child is 9). the shower invitation was not only the first notice i had of the pregnancy, it listed their registry at some very pricey stores. personally i think by the time you have older children you need to be financially set up to provide for any subsequent babies you have. and if you want to share the joy of your pregnancy with me, call me. don't send a notice w/ a request for an expensive gift.

i do however think a surprise shower or a luncheon would be very nice. then people could bring a gift or not as they wished, but still share in the joy.

I think that it is a do. No one in my family threw themselves a shower, but my cousin has had five baby showers. We threw it for her and no one minds getting her things. Her children are only a year apart (the oldest child is actually two years younger than the second and then the next two are all a year apart - then she had twins four years later) so most of the clothes were still being used. I think that it is okay if people are willing to buy things. You shouldn't go all out though and ask for expensive things.

In my opinion, a don't. It's tacky, and comes across as a bid for gifts. Sorry, this is just my opinion.

i think a sprinkle shower... is perfectly acceptable, i think every child should have a warm welcome to the world.. and most of the big things you had for the first, you either lent to others, donated to those in need, or maybe saved a few things "just in case"... i also dont think it's about the gifts, it's about sharing that w/friends and family... the gift is irrelevant really.

boo hoo, I'd live.

SweetnLow, it's tacky for mom to expect gifts or feel entitled to a shower under any circumstances.

I agree that a shower/sprinkle/misting/dribble is tacky.

For those who say "Absolutely have one! but the presents aren't important.." well I think if gifts aren't involved then it's not a shower, it's just a party. So throw a party.

Why do we need to celebrate everything by buying each other stuff?

It is up to you. If people are asking, then throw it. If you want it, then have it. If it's a different sex, by all means. Who cares who throws it, if you have one, you have one. If not, then you don't. If they are really your friends, they are asking b/c they want to help out with the baby's needs which is what it's about and the time to celebrate with you. Do like my brother and sis-in-law did with their second one (which was 7 yrs after the first kid so it does matter how long after the first kid you have the second one, if you still need everything a baby needs, throw a shower if you want). They threw a barbecue. I say celebrate with great games and food!

It's definitely a do!

I think it's sad that, with all the million things you have to worry about while pregnant, you have to worry about whether people think you are being tacky/greedy because one of your friends decided to throw you a shower. If someone has a shower and you think it's tacky- don't go or don't bring a gift. But, seriously, don't judge them either. Every family celebrates things in different ways. For all you know, the woman could have had several miscarriages and this shower is truly a celebration for her. Point being, you're not required to celebrate with the pregnant mother. But I'd truly hope that if I were pregnant with my second child, those I love wouldn't be quite so judgmental about my personal decisions.

Regardless of what you call it, people will want to or feel obligated to bring gifts, even if you tell them not to. If someone wants to throw you one and that's fine with you, do it.

omg!!! I never, ever knew people thought that a second baby shower was tacky! EVERYBODY I have ever known has had a baby shower for every child. and NOBODY has ever thrown it for themselves, always a friend or family member.
I hosted a baby shower for my sister in february and if she were to be pregnant again, I'd be planning the next one with my mom...as big as the first.
definitely a do and definitely not tacky!

I think it's fine! Just don't make an overly extensive registry with extras you don't need (or didn't get the first time around). My sister-in-law is having another girl (18 months after her first girl) so they don't need anything except a twin stroller. I think of it as more of a celebration for the new baby. I'd just throw a party and have people bring diapers as a "cover charge"!

I'm having a shower for my second kiddo. It will be 10 years since my first shower. My first shower was 20 people -- all my moms friends. Now I actually have friends to invite (and none of them knew me when I was pg the first go around). I was sad that I had no friends to share my pregnancy with. I was the first of my HS friends to get married and have a baby. None of them were around at that time.

We do have one friend who was pregnant a couple of years ago and had a baby shower. I don't see anything wrong with it no matter when it is. It's just nice to get together and celebrate the new life that is coming. Gifts or no gifts. Isn't the idea of a shower to shower the baby/mom with love?

Interesting.

I jointly threw a girlfriend of mine a second shower since she was having a girl and her first born was a boy. It was fun because it was an excuse to get her some fun "pink" stuff. It was a low key and small affair.

I'm pregnant with #2, and also having a different gender. And my mother is planning a shower for me. I know she's thinking of a much more elaborate affair that I would like, so my intent is to scale it back (bless my mom's heart, but she likes to go overboard with stuff like this). I'm very appreciative of the thoughtfulness of her and others who have approached me regarding showers and their interest to be a part of one. It was not expected or even anticipated, but certainly appreciated as it is fun to celebrate the coming of a new addition.

But, it's our family way too. Subsequent children are given a shower in our family. Irrespective of the spacing and gender. It's just something we do to celebrate the addition of a new leaf to our family tree and a way for us to contribute to the new addition.

What I've been struggling with this go around is the fact that we need to pick up several "big ticket" items due to the spacing between our kids and due to the loss of several items in a sewer spill/flood in our basement (ICK!) a couple years back. We need to get a new carseat, crib matress, high chair, baby bjiorn, and bassinet. I don't expect anyone to puchase these items for us, but I use a baby registry as my "shopping list" to identify the makes and models of items we like. I wasn't comfortable having those on a general registry. My solution - I just discovered I can manually mark them as "purchased" but still have them on my list. Beautiful! Now the registry is simply some girly blankets, sheets, clothing and a few other items.

My mentality on second baby showers is that if you don't want to be a part of it, don't go. Noone is forcing you to attend or participate. Also, as for gifts, people have different viewpoints and price points. I know people who like to go together and jointly get the big ticket items for people (even for second showers). Others are more comfortable purchasing small gifts.

Bottom line - every new life deserves a celebration. That's why it's called a BABY SHOWER. It's not specifically for the parents, it's for the new baby.

We recently gave a friend of ours a shower for her second child. She is having another boy, so instead of all clothes and those kinds of gifts we did a Diapers and Donuts shower. Everyone was assigned a diaper size in their invitation. Some people added extra gifts, but you know diapers are something that just add up. Then we got to celebrate her having another baby but not repeating what she already has!

truthfully... i would buy a gift for a friend who had a baby, first or second, whether or not they had a shower... anyway. even if i went to the shower i'd still pick up maybe just a lil gift to bring when i visit the baby.... like the hungry caterpillar book/stuffed caterpillar gift set which i just bought for a friend.... i really dont understand the resentment about a gift... it's a onesie, or a book, or a blanket... not $100 or even $50 really.

so surprised.

and i'm not implying anyone's cheap (that's not how it was 'sposed to come across)... it's just exciting... celebrate it... 1st, or 2nd
or plus 8...

People get way too huffy over the rights and wrongs of situations like this.

I'd say it's different for every person...to each his own. I know in my group of friends we have a shower for every child, b/c like some of the posters above said, it's about the celebration of a new child.

I'm not stingy and I don't harbor hard feelings towards those who pop out baby after baby, I think it's great and I'd want to help them celebrate new life.

I think those who said it's tacky are entitled to their opinon of course, but I say it's fine to shower a second birth!

every child is special not just the first one
and think about it.. the more kids mommy has the more gifts will be appreciated.
i have a boy and i had a shower
and then i had a girl fifteen months later and i had a shower.
i had showers at work and both sides of the family each gave me a shower.
All those pampers and gifts were very much appreciated

i think it's a do. i have a now 4 yr. old and 18 m. old twins (all girls). i have a shower for each pregnancy. each were thrown by different family members. i am now expecting # 4 and my sister is already planning a shower for me. however since it is our 4th baby we are putting in the invitations that gifts are not required we are just having a day to celebrate new life with friends and family. every new life is reason to celebrate! after parenting multiples with a singleton sibling making sure that everything is done fair is essential! i would feel awful if in 10 yrs.(even though that is a long time from now) my kids read their baby books and the youngest has pages that are blank and everyone else has them filled out. i would not want them to feel less important or less loved by everyone not getting together to celebrate their birth. they all deserve to see how excited everyone was for them to be here.