I never picked out names with old flames, so that wouldn't be an issue. The names I loved before I was married sound really stupid with our last name, so I never even thought about using them.

Two of the names we used (our oldest, who is a junior, and our daughter) were names my husband has wanted to use his whole life. I am all for juniors, and with my daughter's name we just tweaked it a little. My father-in-law always wanted to name a girl Theresa but never had a daughter, so my husband wanted to honor him by using the name. We changed it to Teressa to make it our own and to bring my Celtic heritage in.

I always loved the name Chloe, and when I was in high school my cousin named one of her daughters Chloe. I took it in stride (I was 16, after all).
Then after my husband and I got married I fell in love with the name Madeline. To the point that every time we talked about having a baby I would refer to it as Madeline. When I found out this same cousin was pregnant (and I was not) my second thought (the first being my happiness for her) was, "What if she uses the name Madeline???" I briefly thought about asking her not to, but then I would have to reveal the name, and I couldn't ask her to stay away from "M" names if it was a girl. So, I did the normal thing and kept quiet. Her baby was a girl (her 4th girl) and she named her... Madeline!!!!!! WHAT ARE THE ODDS?
I was SOOOOOO disappointed when I found out, and I have since told her the story. She said cousins could have the same name, but I liked the fact that I didn't know any other Madelines.

just for the record, i don't think cousins should have the same name, but moving along...

i would totally still use those names....no one but he and i would know that we "discussed" the names in the past, so if i liked it still and so did my husband, i'd use them for sure

I'd have no problem with a cousin having the same name as one of my kids. If my daughter had been a boy, she would've had the same nickname (AJ) as my sister's son, although the names it stood for were different. But I also understand wanting to be different and changing based on someone else close using it.

We did have a list picked out (actually, we had two - one for a girl and one for a boy) and we pretty much went off of that...For our lists, we did stay away from names that we knew others were going to use in the future (Jack). I guess we're lucky in that we were the first to have a baby out of our family/friends that are our age, so there wasn't too much trouble picking something that hadn't been used.

I would never name babies before I was married... that being said, I did havea favorite name picked out and my cousin (who is 15 years older) stole it for her 3rd boy! grrrrr.

I like to keep family names in the family somehow. The way we picked our daughters name was it was the first name we agreed on. Yeah I had names that I would have loved to name my kids but it has to be agreed upon. I guess I can always use the name for a puppy or a kitty.

Greggie, that's really sweet of you and your husband to use the name your FIL wanted to use I like how it ties family in twice (your FIL and your/her heritage)

If for some reason I wound up having a kid with someone other than my SO I would probably still use the boys name I have picked out as it was supposed to be my name if I were a boy. But I'd use a different middle name b/c the middle name picked out is a family thing for my SO.
As for a girl - I'd go with a different first name b/c there are others I like more ... my SO and I had a very hard time picking out a girls name - we had to compromise a lot... we still occasionally try to find a different one. The middle name would stay the same b/c it is my middle name.

Oh and I think cousins with the same name is fine. Especially if there are quite a few years between them or they don't see each other often.

I never talked baby names with old boyfreinds, but if I had, and loved a name, I'd keep it as an option.
That is, assuming the name is neutral. If the name was a family name of the old boyfriend or a junior or something like that I'd skip it. If the name would always make you think of the old relationship that could cause trouble in the current family dynamic.

On the side topic--baby name thieves are the worst. But baby name hogs are bad,too.
My sister has no kids but she has 2 girl's names she has banned me from using (or tried to ban me from using)just in case she has kids and 2 are girls.

I dont really consider Isabel old.

I think its actually pretty popular right now.

We have this really old book and it lists popular names in it, I wish I could think of some of them now but they are really off the wall.

One in particular that comes to mind is Lavinia.

Its so weird! I kind of like it...

I think she means old in the since that you came up with the name ages ago with an old flame.

I'm not a parent, but I could never use a name that my ex wanted for their child. For instance, an ex-bf of mine always said (without any prompting from me) that he'd love to name his first son Joshua. I don't think that's a bad name, but I could just never use it because of him. It'd be like an hommage to an old flame. It's just wrong!

I've also had incidences where relatives gave their children names I liked, but I'm not in baby mode yet, so I have plenty of time to think of others!

If my first child would have been a girl we would have used the name Delaney, which I just love. When I got pregnant with my 2nd husband that name came up and I had to fess up that was on my list before. He didn't mind so much but I did. I just think it would have been weird.

I don't think I could use names that I thought up with an ex. In my opinion I think picking out a name should be something that both the mother and father agree/decide upon so I don't think that works.

I absolutely love the name Delaney, magirl.

I agree that names should be chosen by both parents, but I don't think that automatically rules out anything that was thought of previously. If I suggested a name and my husband didn't like it, it wouldn't matter where it originated, it wouldn't be used.

I agree that cousins shouldn't have the same name. Why, on my husband's side of the family there are *3* sets of cousins with the same name: two Davids, a Brian and a Bryan, and a Carrol and a Carol.

I came up with the name Kincaid (Kiki for short) with an old flame, and while I still like it, I think I have come up with two others I would use first with my current boyfriend (Arden and Zalea). Although, both me and his sister like the name Xander for a boy, but since I'm 12 years older than her I think I'll may get to it before her.

I say keep it although I already have general idea of what I'll name my children so this issue won't happen to me. I adore the names: Chloe and Jacob though my dream is to have four children.

I should have added that the other two names I love are, Ava and William.

When I was four years old I promised my grandpa, who's name was Cecil, that when and if I had a baby girl I would name her Cecilia after him.

I got married and got pregnant with a girl and told him her name was Cecilia and he didn't like it, but I stuck to it and let him choose the middle name. So 20 years later I got to keep my promise and he got a living tribute.

Hell or high water wouldn't have changed my mind..haha

Should clarify, that my husband did not like the name Cecilia at first. oops

Aw that's a sweet tribute leah

I had my first child's name picked out from the time I was four. Jude. Boy or girl, it was going to be Jude. My parents are big hippies so I grew up on the Beatles, The Who, etc. I fell in love with the name Jude. Luckily, I married a fellow music devotee who loved the idea. Now we have a beautiful daughter named Jude.

Four must be a big age for name picking!

I like some older names because they aren't that common now. My names picked out for our first born is Audrey for a girl and Seth for a boy.

I don't think the post is referring to older, traditional names, but names you picked out years ago with someone else.