Some new moms rush out and befriend fellow mothers once baby arrives, and other women just keep the same friends they've always had. Sure, it's comforting to chat about life with someone in a similar stage, but there's a big bonus in sticking with your single friends and keeping them close to your family. Here are some of the benefits:
- When you tell the kids that their "Auntie" is coming over, they squish their faces against the window and line the front door like it's a red carpet!
- She loves to give piggy back rides, partake in pillow fights, and doesn't mind marker tattoos.
- She welcomes your tots with open arms because she isn't toting all kinds of baby baggage!
- She loves to babysit or borrow your kids to test out her maternal skills without all of the responsibility.
- Children reap the reward of having another adult (who isn't a parent) to talk to about issues.
- She still has her train of thought intact and can lead you through a conversation no matter how many times it gets interrupted.
- The novelty of changing diapers, repeatedly reading the same story, and tucking tots into bed hasn't worn off for her yet.
- No matter what the occasion, her gift and presence are unrivaled.
- You don't have to schedule hanging out around nap time, mood swings, or her meals.
- You get to live vicariously through her when she fills you in on her latest date, a spontaneous trip, or pulling an all-nighter (that doesn't involve someone getting sick or having a nightmare).
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all 10 reasons are why i am so excited to be "auntie" to my best friends baby! i already told her that i'm going to be the person they go to when they are too scared to talk to mom or dad. i live in LA and she lives in NYC but we are already planning dates for me to stay with her for extended periods of time! I LLLLOVE this post and i've already passed it along to my best friend jill. THX
1I am the first one of my friends to have a baby and I will be the only one for quite some time and I love this list! Everybody always says how children affect friendships and for me it has only been positive so far. My friends love hearing stories about my lil girl without being judgemental (which other moms often are), they are crazy about changing diapers and just love getting the hang of caring for a baby. But they keep me grounded and remind me there's other stuff to talk about than poop!
As much as I wish I had friends my age with kids, I love that my girl has so many great aunties buying her ridiculously expensive gifts!
2This post is so true.I'm like that with my nephew.
3I find this a little offensive. Just because I'm a girl doesn't mean I am going to like...or even want to spend time with your baby. I don't have one for a reason! Not all girls fall into this mold.
4This is beyond offensive --- Nearly every reason on that list surmised that as a single woman I am your de facto, free, babysitter. Whether I have children or not, I have a schedule, and I have a life. I may not have an armful of baby paraphernalia but I do have a laptop bag with work papers. I may not have hormonal issues but I do have a work life that is challenging. I don't have children - which means I get to have white carpets, go out to dinner and plan spontaneous weekends. It does not mean I want your children dropped off at the spur of the moment to ruin those carpets, and plans. I am not here for your amusement. I am not Rosie the Robot - my friendship cannot be turned on and off when it is convenient for you. How dare you imply that I am happy to change diapers, babysit, and let your children write all over me? Have the self-centered baby obsessed writers of this tripe considered that some of us actually consider whether we want to devote the time and energy that children require prior to reproducing? If I don't have children, chances are it's because I decided I don't want them, now or yet. And to judge me for it, FYI, is why we single girls dump you baby obsessed, self centered, rude, judgmental mothers.
5Wow, yeah, don't have babies! If you are offended by this you obviously have some growing up to do! Lighten up people. God, I am sick of being the rude baby obsessed person just because I gave birth. Why does it have to be black and white? Just because someone doesn't have kids, they don't automatically hate them, and I personally like my kid not all of them, and I can actually be considerate.
6And on another note, why would you even get on this site when you have such strong feelings against mothers? Weird...
7Yeah, I do not get it, why post here in lilsugar if you are not interested in babies, kids or having a family??? Its like me giving my opinion on a post that is about how amazing it is to be single and childless and posting about how great marriage and children are and acting offended.
8On the other note I do find it much easier to have friends who are in my situation and I would "trust" them a little more with my little one. I just find it really hard to hang out with single friends sometimes, bc our lives are completely different and as much as they prob cannot relate to me, I do not relate to their life either, anymore.
Newsflash ladies, while you all enjoy your mommy and me, yummy mummy t-shirts, and complaining about why the world doesn't have more nursing rooms or organic baby food, the rest of us are still living our lives, and while it must be nice to engage in group think and pat each other on the back, there's nothing wrong with waiting to have children - and not wanting to spend those years cooing over yours doesn't make me immature - it makes me entitled to the respect that you seem to feel is yours alone - just for your ability to have sex and pop out progeny. Spending time with a dirty diaper is hardly rocket scientry, so come off of it already.
9Why are people posting here who dont want or have kids? Uhhhh...because it's linked from TresSugar. It brings you here. Hell, I didnt even realize that's where I was until I looked up at the address field. And I agreee with ShaynaLeah. Every.Single.Bit.
10It's a 2 way steet ladies, and while you single ladies might not appreciate your friends with kids, they probably don't appreciate your very negative attitude towards them and their desire to have children! It's not all cupcakes and roses like you seem to think! It is hard work although you don't seem to understand that. I'm not saying you don't work hard either, just that it's a very differnt kind of work. Honestly I don't think most people without kids can truly understand the work that parents do until you have kids of your own. Please just remember all you childless people that those with children have been there and done what you're doing and have an understanding of what you're going through, however that's not where we are in our lives and would also appreciate a little courtesy towards what we deal with everyday! If it weren't for all of us "self centered, baby obsessed, rude, judgemental mothers" you wouldn't be here today! It takes mothers to make new rude, egotistical, self centered grown ups like you!
11Oh man! This post defines my sister-in-law! Well, minus the going to her about things she can't talk to mom & dad about because our lil sugar is only 6 months old. LOL "Auntie" always volunteers to change diapers and LOVES putting jammies on if she's here at bedtime. It's so fun to have her around because I enjoy her as a friend, too.
12That's a charming phrase... TresSugar, a site aimed at those of us who still have lives outside children linked here... and its not insane to resent the fact that you would even consider being friends with a single woman based only on her availability to babysit and entertain your children. If you think that that's a reasonable basis for a friendship (or any relationship) then I suggest you find yourself a nanny and pay her.
13They're not talking about making a single friend just so she can entertain your kids. That is not what this article is about. It's about keeping friends you already have. No where in the list does it say to call them last minute and dump your kids on her. And I'm sorry, but I thought TresSugar was aimed at women who enjoy sex and culture. If you have a child, odds are you enjoy sex on occasion. I am a mother, but I also have a life and it's insulting to assume that a woman loses that life when she has a kid.
14The majority of my friends who have kids get a babysitter when they hang out with me and my husband. Every once in awhile, they'll invite us over to their house for dinner. Their kids are cute and it's ok playing with them on those occasions, but I really have no desire to change their diapers! I cannot imagine any of my friends even making that opportunity available to me, either! They would always whisk away a child who needed to be changed before a guest would offer.
So for me, based on my experiences with my existing friends with kids, it would be bizarre if another friend had a baby and wanted me to just come "hang out" with her and the baby. I'm sorry if that sounds mean, because I don't mean it that way. It's just not something I'm used to.
15Hi everyone, although there may be a lot of differing opinions on this topic, please be sure to respect what every member has to share and avoid any personal attacks which just hurts feelings. Thanks!
16ok.. i wasn't going to say anything, but this honestly offended me too.. it's basically saying "10 reasons you can keep your single friends around, they'll cater to you and your children b/c it's all about you and your children." granted, these are accurate-but relationships like these come from genuine relationships that are balanced and mutual respect of each others lives. the "mommy world" is incredibly self-focused, and condescending towards people in other phases of life. if you don't agree, take a look @ the majority of what is posted on here.
17This post was inspired by the amazing women in my life who also have incredible relationships with my children.
18I loved this post. I personally do not have kids but some of my friends do and I have been hurt when I am suddenly not invited to certain events just because I might not have children. And vice versa - if I suddenly stopped hanging out with a girlfriend just because she has a child I would be just as much at fault. The best friendships should be based on that - genuine friendship - not on whether you have children or not.
19I understand why you're offended, but seriously, don't insult anyone.
20I don't get why some people are so offended by this! It's not saying that new mothers should go out and befriend single women for the sole purpose of using them for free babysitting. It's giving good reasons why you can maintain a solid friendship with friends you already have even though you're at different places in your lives. And frankly, women (and men, for that matter) who like children but either don't want any of their own ever or aren't ready for their own are likely going to have more fun doing "small" things with your kids because it's not part of day-to-day life for them. A lot of stay-at-home moms also like taking on one-day-a-week jobs and get a great deal of enjoyment out of them because it's not every day life for them.
Also, I think some people completely missed the last point, which is about celebrating the things that single/childless women get to do that sometimes mothers have to give up.
21agreed^^ some of these women who were offended by this post completely missed the point. That's why the post was directed to women with children and not those without them because obviously they didnt get it. let me try to explain. it's just telling women with children that they dont have to let go of meaningful relationships they already have with single/childless friends, because its easy to feel insecure or like a burden on others when u have a child. the post, in a way, allows mothers to see that maybe their friends are understanding¬ judgemental or negative.
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