10 Reasons to Give Your Child a Sibling

August 11, 2009

You can pick your friends, but you can't choose your family, and maybe that's the greatest thing about having siblings. Whether you love them or not, they keep showing up at the dinner table and family functions. Having a sister, brother, or both forces a child to deal with peers on a daily basis. Sure, backseat wars have been waged and sibling rivalry exists, but the bonds that are formed wrestling each other over the television remote or laughing till your bellies ache are ones you can't replicate. As the second child of four who will soon give birth to my third baby, I believe that the greatest gift you can give your kid is another one — check out all my completely biased reasons why!

Source: Getty

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by POPSUGAR Moms 17

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by POPSUGAR Moms 17

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17 Comments

3 years 40 weeks

Our oldest is on the Autism Spectrum and although sometimes he can be a bit of a challenge I think our two younger boys are richer because he's in our lives and part of our family. The oldest wasn't diagnosed until after we'd had two more children. I am so glad that I didn't know he was anything more than "quirky" before we chose to have more children. I might have believed that it would be damaging to the younger sibs having to deal with our oldest throughout their lives. Having siblings has been such a blessing for all three of our children. There's nothing else quite like the bond they share.

3 years 40 weeks

The title implies the wrong reason to have a child... period. You have a child because you want to love and are prepared to care for another human being.

MissSushi 3 years 40 weeks

No, but i've had just as many experiences quite like that including severe burns becuase she burnt the house down, injuries sustained from biting and hitting, etc. Maybe you should follow your own advice and not assume that your situation is the only one worth any note or pain. You dont know my story any more then i know the details of your story, and i never said it was as bad as, worse, or easier then yours. It works both ways. My only point is you write post after post on here that anyone who reads it reguraly knows you have a disabled child. They know you scoff at anyone elses pain, citing your own problems and that they have no room to talk becuase yours is worse. Ive read post after post where the tone is negative, bitter, and angry towards the child, whether you mean it or not, and then this latest one where you say the siblings of a disabled child have to deal with a burden, becuase their sibling might be disabled. My only point is you might want to rethink the way you portray the situation or they will start taking your lead. Either way, I feel compassion for EVERY situation like this, because I dont deem any situation better or anyone's pain less. You dont hurt any less becuase someone somewhere is worse off. It's your life, and its about the choices you make and the things you learn. I'm not going to argue anymore, though.

MissSushi 3 years 40 weeks

lickety split 3 years 40 weeks

start thinking that way? ever had your arm broken by your disabled sister? do you pay $8,500 a month for her care? have you been woken up every night for so many months that you lost track, by someone screaming like acid was being poured on them? ever watched your sister be put in a striaght jacket because she was having a mental breakdown (age 7) and physically destrying herself?i assure you that my children know more than ANY child should have to know about having a disabled family member. if your sister is a blessing to you then i wish you well as her care taker, in your home as a part of your family.but talking about what "might" happen one day is very, very different than living it. i'm not "acting", i am stating what our family is experiencing. it is not "difficult at times", it is difficult and painful every day because our child is physically suffering. and people like you add to the burden by assuming to know what our situation is when in fact you know NOTHING.

lickety split 3 years 40 weeks

start thinking that way? ever had your arm broken by your disabled sister? do you pay $8,500 a month for her care? have you been woken up every night for so many months that you lost track, by someone screaming like acid was being poured on them? ever watched your sister be put in a striaght jacket because she was having a mental breakdown (age 7) and physically destrying herself? i assure you that my children know more than ANY child should have to know about having a disabled family member. if your sister is a blessing to you then i wish you well as her care taker, in your home as a part of your family. but talking about what "might" happen one day is very, very different than living it. i'm not "acting", i am stating what our family is experiencing. it is not "difficult at times", it is difficult and painful every day because our child is physically suffering. and people like you add to the burden by assuming to know what our situation is when in fact you know NOTHING.

3 years 40 weeks

I grew up in a unique situation. I got to be the youngest child, but very much like an only. My sisters are 10, 11, and 15 years older than I am. I can't imagine not having siblings! As for having a child with a dissability, if you're worried about how it's going to negatively affect the younger kids, you probably shouldn't have had the younger ones. We're all adults and make the decision about if and when to have our children.

MissSushi 3 years 40 weeks

I don't think having a sibling with a disability, whether severe or not, is a burden to siblings. My sister is severely disabled and will require lifelong care. None of my other 2 siblings and I have ever felt like she was a burden or like we didn't want to have to deal with her. I was prompted around 13 or 14 that her care would fall to me if an accident happened to my parents. If anything, it's a chance for someone to grow up understanding disabilities, mental conditions, and compassion beyond what the average kid growing up has to deal with. It can absolutely be difficult at times, and I even as a young kid, shed more then a few tears about the injustice and cruelty in the world, but its still life. It would happen for one reason or another, no matter if she was disabled or not. She is an integral part of our family, and always will be. To be honest, your attitude will probably affect how they view their sister more then anything else. If you keep acting like its a burden thats going to ruin and hamper their lives, they're going to start thinking that way.

MissSushi 3 years 40 weeks

dani17731 3 years 40 weeks

As an only child, this makes me sad. :( It's almost too late for my mom, but my dad has a few more years! lol (They're not together, btw)

dani17731 3 years 40 weeks

As an only child, this makes me sad. :( It's almost too late for my mom, but my dad has a few more years! lol (They're not together, btw)

cotedazur 3 years 40 weeks

I'm not pregnant yet, but I'm only planning on having one child. My husband, as an adult, has had nothing but conflict and disappointments from his two brothers - arguments about who is the favorite child, jealousy over who gets the most support from their parents, petty fights between girlfriends, family secrets aired to mutual friends, etc. I'm an only and my parents are my best friends. I feel as though the only thing I've missed out on as an only child is conflict. Even in elementary school my friends with siblings were always scratching, pulling hair, or kicking; I also remember that they were much worse at sharing because they were used to protecting their possessions from their siblings.

lickety split 3 years 40 weeks

yes, it's all flowers and rainbows until a sibling with a disability comes along. i feel incredible guilt over the fact that my 2 younger girls will have a lifetime of care giving to do for their older severely disabled sister. even if it isn't financial (and our plan is that it won't be), they will still have the moral pull to care for her and to make sure she is doing "okay" in her care facility.that being said, i think a sibling can offer a lot. as an only child i didn't really get how to negotiate with peers, and didn't understand that "i hate you" only applied for about as long as it took for the words to be heard, lol.

lickety split 3 years 40 weeks

yes, it's all flowers and rainbows until a sibling with a disability comes along. i feel incredible guilt over the fact that my 2 younger girls will have a lifetime of care giving to do for their older severely disabled sister. even if it isn't financial (and our plan is that it won't be), they will still have the moral pull to care for her and to make sure she is doing "okay" in her care facility. that being said, i think a sibling can offer a lot. as an only child i didn't really get how to negotiate with peers, and didn't understand that "i hate you" only applied for about as long as it took for the words to be heard, lol.

3 years 40 weeks

I love this!! I am SO glad I gave my daughter a sibling it's been so amazing watching them interact and love each other. I know they will be friends for life and it makes me happy to know they will have each other after my husband and I pass away. I can't imagine my life growing up without my brother either, he's been like a father to me but also a friend. Oh and to Anonymous--I give both of my kids my attention and love!! Also the older one helps out alot with the younger one, there is enough love to go around!

3 years 40 weeks

I have one son who is 16 years old. I've loved having one child and he has loved being an only child. A sibling is not the greatest gift you can give your child. Being able to give your undivided attention and unconditional love to that one child is the best gift they can get!

FrankiLee 3 years 40 weeks

I should not have read this story! I have baby fever badly -- my daughter is almost 14 months now. We are going to wait until she's two to start trying again....but how I want to start trying now!! Cute article.